Reasons Not to Worry What Others Think

This video explores the psychological and philosophical reasons why we should not overly concern ourselves with others' opinions. It discusses the loss of personal power and the futility of trying to control others' perceptions, drawing on concepts from Stoicism and the trichotomy of control.

You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accomplish. I have no responsibility to be like they expect me to be. It's their mistake, not my failing. It's generally a good idea to care about other people's opinions to some degree, as they could contain some worthwhile insight. But focusing on them too much, to the point that we spend hours and hours dwelling on what people might think, can leave us in agony. It's not only potentially harmful but also unnecessary. This video explains why, based on several concepts from psychology and philosophy. 1. **You're giving away your power.** The moment we let our joy depend on the validation by other people, we give away the power over our emotional states. With this attitude, it feels exhilarating when people fancy us. But when they don't, we become sad and angry. Especially now, in the age of social media, many have made other people's approval their focal point in life. Positive attention, then, becomes a requirement for happiness, which entirely depends on the whims of those we try to impress. It can even become an addiction. Many of the people that we try to impress, we don't even know. Moreover, many of them have ever-changing opinions, often without substance, or are downright ignorant. So, why would we waste our time trying to make them like us? Chances are we don't even like them. Stoic philosopher Seneca said about this, and I quote, "How mad is he who leaves the lecture room in a happy frame of mind, simply because of applause from the ignorant? Why do you take pleasure in being praised by men whom you yourself cannot praise?" 2. **It's beyond your control.** The problem with worrying is that our minds try to control the uncontrollable. People's opinions are ultimately not up to us. So, there isn't much we can do to stop them from disliking us. Now, this doesn't mean that we cannot influence what other people think. As a variation to the dichotomy of control, a concept from Stoicism, professor of philosophy William B. Irvin proposed the trichotomy of control. The dichotomy of control, as presented by Epictetus, makes a distinction between the things that are within our control and the things that aren't. The trichotomy of control, however, offers three categories: things over which we have complete control, things over which we have no control at all, and things over which we have some but not complete control. Opinions of other people fall into the second and third categories. In some cases, there's nothing we can do to stop them from disliking us.