Party Survival Guide for Introverts

Alright, so, an introvert walks into a bar and, uh, oh wait, that's not right, is it? Hey, if a large party looks as daunting to you as an overdue trip to the dentist, you're not alone. In fact, you might be one of the estimated 30% of the population that's introverted. So introverts, today's WellCast is for you. We've got a five-step method for getting you through, and even enjoying, large parties. But first, we're going to explain to you a little bit of the science behind why that knot of people at the chips and dip is stressing you out so much. Most introverts echo Greta Garbo's famous statement, "I never said I want to be alone, I only said I want to be left alone." Introverts don't dislike social interactions; they just prefer to be with a small group of friends. Research shows that from a very young age, introverts react to things in a very different way than extroverts do. Take this 1989 Harvard study. A researcher named Jerome Kagan gathered 500 four-month-old infants and subjected them to a series of unfamiliar situations, such as a balloon popping and the smell of rubbing alcohol. About 20% of the infants reacted very strongly to these triggers. They screamed, cried, thrashed their arms and legs. The rest stayed mostly quiet. When Kagan interviewed these subjects years later, he found that most of the children who reacted strongly to the external stimuli turned out to be introverted. So what can we glean from that? Well, the answer lies in the fundamental difference between extroverts and introverts. Psychologist Elaine Aron explained it in a January 2012 Time Magazine article. Introverts have a low threshold for external stimulation. They get their nourishment from internal stimulation—reading, thinking, listening to music—and they're drained by external interactions. A lot of people, loud noises, a party. On the other hand, extroverts feed off of these types of situations, and they grow unhappy without them. Because introverts are in the minority—in fact, it's less than a third of the population—they're forced to live in an extrovert's world. They have to go to big parties and make small talk. Essentially, they're forced to do all of the things that drain them on a regular basis. Hey, there are plenty of benefits to being an introvert, and we're not saying that you should change who you are or walk around the party with a scarlet "I" on your chest. But because we can't always avoid these situations, we're going to talk about how to handle them with the least amount of stress and anxiety. It's time for our party crash course. We've got five steps planned for you, so pause and print this card, and be sure to fill it out before your next party. Are you back? Okay, let's get started. **Step 1: Plan your escape.** Okay, hey, calm down. We're not saying that you're necessarily even going to need it, but just having a tailor-made excuse for leaving in your back pocket will keep your anxiety down. It can be anything from, "Oh, sorry, I have another party that I'm supposed to be at," to "Oh, I'm really sorry, I got a migraine." **Step 2: Locate your on-deck circle.** Alright, so when you walk into the party, the first thing you should do is scan the surroundings for somewhere you can retreat to if things get a little too overwhelming. Hey, this could be a balcony, a bedroom, a hallway, even the great outdoors. **Step 3: Give yourself a task.** Hey, if you're worried about not knowing what to do at a party, help the host with whatever they need to get done. Pick up cups, help pass out food, you know, anything. Not only will this give you a set agenda for the night, you'll be able to socialize with a wide variety of people without being tied down to one long, possibly incredibly awkward conversation. **Step 4: When in doubt, find other introverts.** Look for a small cluster of people and attach yourself to them. Odds are, you'll have a lot more in common with them and a lot more to talk about. **Step 5: Know when to give yourself a break.** If you're too overwhelmed or uncomfortable, use that out that's waiting in your back pocket. It's completely okay to leave the situation, especially if it's not yours.