On Resilience

Have you ever felt anxious when you've had loads of homework? Maybe you felt hurt when a friend said something mean about you, or sad when your dog passed away. Or perhaps you're feeling nervous about transitioning from primary school to secondary school. There are going to be times in your life that will be difficult to deal with, but there is good news. Did you know you can learn skills to help you deal with your challenging emotions better? These skills help you develop a characteristic called resilience. Resilience is the ability to cope with and bounce back from difficult times. It's about being able to pick yourself back up after you've been knocked down and building your inner strength to deal with and manage stressful situations. Resilience and emotions go hand in hand. Learning how to deal with your challenging emotions when they occur is important in developing your resilience. It can be helpful to think of emotions as the weather. Sometimes they can be stormy and dark, and other times they can be sunny and bright. Learning how to master your emotions can help you build the confidence to tackle any challenge thrown your way. Some of the challenges that you might be dealing with could include dealing with an illness, relationship or family issues, problems at school, bullying, or losing someone you love. Those are all really big things. But small things can stress people out too, like losing a sports game, being told off by a parent or teacher, or getting a detention. For some people, these little things can add up, but for others, it doesn't bother them much at all. That's because everyone has a different level of resilience. Two people might experience similar situations, but cope with them in completely different ways. This can be due to past experiences, genetics, or what we have learned from our parents. Everyone is different. The great thing is that you are actually able to develop and build your resilience. However, being resilient doesn't mean you are meant to push any feelings away or not express them. Developing resilience means you learn to recognize your emotions and manage them in a constructive way. Here are some simple ways to start developing your resilience. 1. Find healthy ways to deal with stressful times. If things start feeling too stressful, find something enjoyable to do, like patting your pet, doing some exercise, or talking to a parent, sibling, or friend. It can also include speaking positively to yourself and reassuring yourself that things will be OK. 2. Accept the fact that change is a part of life. This means everyone goes through it. Perhaps you have moved to a new city, or started a new school. Maybe there's a new member in your family. Often it can take time to adjust to a new change in life, especially if we didn't choose it. But as you learn to accept changes in your life and make the best out of whatever is happening, you'll grow stronger and happier. 3. Take some deep breaths. If you feel a challenging emotion, chances are your body is physically reacting to it too. It will most likely be giving you warning signs that you're feeling a certain way. If you're stressed, scared or nervous, your heart might beat really fast, or you might feel sweaty and shaky. But did you know that you can actually use your body to help you manage your emotions? One way of doing this is by controlling your breathing. Start by slowing your breathing down. Take deep, deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. You'll be surprised with how calm this can make you feel. 4. Finally, learn to be flexible when it comes to change. This helps to develop your resilience. Life isn't perfect, and things don't always go according to plan. Maybe you were promised a birthday party, but your family couldn't afford one this year. Or maybe you were expecting to get into the top team for your favorite sport, but found out that you placed in the second team instead. Can you learn to become flexible when things don't go the way you expected? Being flexible helps you to be creative in your ways of coping. Having a plan B, and even a plan C, can assist in your flexibility so that when your plan A falls through, you still have other options. The key is to maintain a positive perspective and not only see what's not working, but be able to accept change and focus on moving forward. Developing your resilience is super important if you want to be able to handle difficult situations well and come out on top. Learning to develop your resilience can be done in many ways, like accepting that change is normal, using healthy strategies to manage challenging emotions, and learning how to go with the flow. Remember, being resilient does not mean you aren't allowed to feel and acknowledge your emotions. It just means that you'll have the tools to help you to cope with things that are difficult, so you'll be able to bounce back and make the most out of life.