VideosVideosVideosVideosPsych2Go
5 mins 9 secs
Ages 14 - 18
This video explores seven effective strategies for dealing with toxic individuals in various relationships, such as setting boundaries, avoiding gossip, and focusing on solutions. It emphasizes the importance of surrounding oneself with supportive friends and recognizing harmful behaviors without taking them personally.
Hey, Psych2Goers! Do you have any relationships in your life that repeatedly leave you feeling emotionally drained and miserable? These can be in the form of a romantic partner, friend, co-worker, or family member. Have you tried to share your feelings and been made to feel dejected or ashamed? If so, you may be dealing with a toxic person. In today's video, we'll be looking at seven intelligent ways to deal with toxic people. **Number one:** Establish your physical and emotional boundaries. Do you ever feel trapped in a conversation or left ruminating about a conversation you wish you hadn't been a part of? Psychotherapist Amy Morin advises that when dealing with toxic people, you need to set your physical and emotional boundaries. For instance, this could be in the form of stepping back from a group of gossipers that make you feel uncomfortable. Understandably, though, it's not always easy to physically retreat, such as in work settings with colleagues and bosses. In instances like this, you can limit the emotional energy and time you spend thinking about them. Then try not to give much thought to them afterwards. **Number two:** Avoid playing into their reality. Have you ever been in a situation where a friend or co-worker makes a mistake but blames it on you or someone else, rather than taking responsibility for their actions? While standing up and disagreeing can feel daunting, this can be done in a respectful way. In fact, it's actually healthy to agree to disagree. According to Brito and Rapel, 2019, a way to confront people without being confrontational or accusatory is taking them to the side and saying, "I had a different take on the situation." While they may be upset with your disagreement, they will recognize that you have a voice of your own and you're not afraid to use it. **Number three:** Don't share secrets with the gossipers. Have you ever come across a group of people who constantly talk about others for enjoyment and entertainment's sake? According to psychiatrist Ned Howell, gossip can be defined as sharing information, real or imagined, without permission. Gossipers tend to delight in other people's pain and gossip about anyone and everyone they can. Chances are, if someone shares other people's secrets with you, they're untrustworthy and will share your secrets too if given the chance. Because of this, the best thing to do in most instances is to not share secrets with gossipers. **Number four:** Focus on solutions, not problems. With many toxic people, their focus tends to be on problems rather than solutions, and they always have something to complain about, which can be very emotionally draining for people around them. On the other hand, a way of dealing with this behavior is by focusing your energy on solutions instead of problems. If you have someone in your life who creates problem after problem and continuously expects you to help them fix things, it might be worth reconsidering your relationship with them and preventing yourself from getting sucked into their drama. **Number five:** Spend time with loyal friends. Do you have any friends in your life that you know you can always count on? A really good friend should have your back, help you feel good about yourself, and celebrate your success with you. It can be hard to come across such people, so when you do, hold them close and show up for them the way they show up for you. Rather than focusing your time and energy on toxic people, surround yourself as much as possible with loyal and loving friends. **Number six:** Recognize the insults. Ignore them or toss up a joke. Understandably, insults hurt, and they're unpleasant and can feel like a personal dig. It's important to remember, though, that toxic people are often hurtful to everyone, and it's much more reflective of them than it is on you. It can be really difficult, but not taking harsh words to heart can be one of the best ways of dealing with toxic people because most of the time they're just wanting to stir the pot and cause drama. In some instances, tossing up a joke can help diffuse the situation.