How to Be More Confident

"I want this." For some people, it's the easiest thing in the world to say. Life's pretty nice for these kinds of assertive people. They usually end up with the window seat on airplanes, the last slice of pizza, and the cubicle that's not by the bathroom. "I hope he flushed." But not everybody is naturally assertive, even if they're loud. If you're like a lot of members on the WellCast team, you might not be as comfortable talking about yourself. Saying what you want or what you think when you're around a lot of people can be really difficult. Okay, well, today we've got four quick tips on how to be more assertive in every aspect of your life. At school, at work, or in a nerve-wracking situation like having to tell your parents that you dinged the car. "I'm so sorry." You ready? Tip one, hold on to your NUTS. Yep, this is an acronym borrowed from the author Wayne Levine. It stands for Non-negotiable, Unalterable Terms. Basically, your boundaries. When you find yourself stuck in an uncomfortable position, ask yourself, "What are the most important things to me in this situation? What do I absolutely refuse to compromise?" Your NUTS should include something broad, like my health, or something specific, like my A average in biology. Either way, once you know what your priorities are, it'll be easier to fight for them. Tip two, be simple, honest, and direct. Don't be passive-aggressive or coy. It's annoying. If a waiter brings you a kale salad and you ordered a cheeseburger, don't wait until the end of the meal to under-tip. Have him send it back. If you're honest and direct, rather than waffly and underhanded, things are more likely to work out in your favor. At the very least, you've done yourself a favor by making your needs known. Tip three, fake it till you make it. Hey, here's a secret. If you act assertive, you will start feeling assertive. So, how do you do that? Well, use your body language and your voice to make your presence known. Practice good posture and speak in an authoritative volume. "Please do not touch anything on my desk. It smells in there. Are you flushing? I know you didn't wash your hands." Be an eagle, not a turtle. I know, just let me tease this metaphor out a little bit. It's a little weird. Do be an eagle. Don't be a turtle. Don't thrust your shoulders forward and slump. You look like you're apologizing for yourself. Do straighten your back. Stick your chest out. Breathe evenly and deeply. Don't dart your eyes about. It's going to look like you've got something to hide. Pro tip, if you're nervous about maintaining eye contact, look at someone's nose or forehead. You'll seem more engaged and in control. If you've tried this, it actually works. Do speak up. Seriously. I can't even hear you right now. Tip four, use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. This way you can express what you want without being accusatory. To wit, what follows is the wrong way to tell your roommate to do the dishes. "You never do the dishes. There's a pile of them in the sink right now and it's old enough to be carbon dated." Here's the right way. "I feel like I've been doing more than my fair share of the dishes lately. I'm pretty tired when I get home from work. Could you help me out?" See? You expressed your frustration without sounding like a nag. The assertiveness goldmine. Alright, you've completed your primer for being assertive. Remember, figure out your priorities. Be straightforward and honest. Have good posture, eye contact, and volume, and use "I" statements. Go forth, Wellcasters. You're ready to tell that waiter that you ordered a cheeseburger. Well, that's all from me today, Wellcasters. Would you do me a kindness? Subscribe to our channel. Sign up for our newsletter to receive sneak peeks and other awesome stuff. See you later.