Boundary Power Talk Script

Introduction (Warm-Up: What's a 'Line'?) - (5 minutes)

Teacher: "Good morning/afternoon, everyone! Today, we're going to talk about something super important for navigating friendships and feeling good about yourselves. I want you to think for a moment: When you hear the words 'boundary' or 'line' in the context of friends or social situations, what comes to mind? What does it mean to 'cross a line'? Or 'draw a line in the sand'? Don't overthink it, just share your first thoughts."

(Allow students to share a few ideas. Acknowledge their contributions.)

Teacher: "Great ideas! You're all touching on something really important. Today, we're going to explore what healthy boundaries are and how being assertive can help us set and keep those boundaries, especially in our friendships. It's about taking charge of your own space and feelings."

Introduction to Boundaries & Assertiveness (10 minutes)

(Display Your Boundaries, Your Power Presentation - Slide 2: "What Are Healthy Boundaries?")

Teacher: "So, what exactly are healthy boundaries? Think of them like invisible lines, or an invisible fence around your personal space, your feelings, and your thoughts. Just like a fence around your yard tells people where your property begins and ends, personal boundaries tell others what you are and what you are not okay with."

"These boundaries are super important because they protect your feelings, your thoughts, and your personal space. They help you feel safe and respected in your friendships. When you have healthy boundaries, you decide who gets close to you and when."

(Display Your Boundaries, Your Power Presentation - Slide 3: "What is Assertiveness?")

Teacher: "Now, how do we make sure these invisible lines are clear to others? That's where assertiveness comes in. Assertiveness means expressing your needs, your feelings, and your opinions clearly, and doing it in a respectful way. It's also about respecting other people's rights and feelings at the same time."

"It's important to know that being assertive is NOT the same as being aggressive. Aggressive means being demanding, mean, or not caring about others' feelings. And it's also not being passive, where you don't speak up at all and let people walk all over your 'invisible fence'. Assertive is the 'just right' in the middle – respectful, but firm."

Teacher: "A really key part of assertiveness is understanding what you can control. You can control your own actions, your own words, and how you respond. You can't actually control what someone else says or does. So, when we set boundaries, we focus on what we are willing or not willing to do, and how we will respond."

"For example, if a friend is trying to get you to do something you're not comfortable with, instead of saying, 'Stop asking me to do that!' (which tries to control their action), you can say, 'I won't do that.' or 'I'm not comfortable with that.' This focuses on your choice and what you will do. It's empowering!"

"Can anyone give an example of a time they've seen someone be assertive? Or perhaps a time they wished they had been more assertive?"

(Allow for a brief discussion, offering a simple example if needed, like 'I'm not comfortable with that topic, can we talk about something else?')

Types of Boundaries (10 minutes)

Teacher: "Now that we understand what boundaries are, let's talk about the different types of boundaries. It's not just about physical space! We have boundaries in many areas of our lives."

(Display Your Boundaries, Your Power Presentation - Slide 4: "Types of Boundaries: Physical")

Teacher: "First, we have Physical Boundaries. These are about your body, your personal space, and physical touch. For example, you decide who gets to hug you, if you want a high-five, or how close someone stands to you. Your body belongs to you, and you get to make those decisions."

"Let's say someone is standing too close to you in the lunch line, invading your bubble. What's a polite, assertive way to let them know you need a little more space?"

(Prompt for ideas like, 'Excuse me, could you give me a little more room?' or taking a step back.)

(Display Your Boundaries, Your Power Presentation - Slide 5: "Types of Boundaries: Material")

Teacher: "Next are Material Boundaries. These are about your stuff – your phone, your backpack, your money, your clothes, even your space like your bedroom. You get to decide who can borrow your things, how they treat them, and if you even want to share at all."

"Imagine a friend constantly asks to borrow your phone or always 'forgets' their lunch money and asks you to pay. How can you set a material boundary here?"

(Prompt for ideas like, 'I don't lend out my phone,' 'I can't lend you money today,' or 'Please ask before you take my snacks.')

(Display Your Boundaries, Your Power Presentation - Slide 6: "Types of Boundaries: Mental")

Teacher: "Then we have Mental Boundaries. These are about your thoughts, your values, your opinions, and what you believe. Healthy mental boundaries mean you can have your own ideas and listen to others without feeling like you have to agree, or like your ideas aren't good enough."

"What if a friend tells you that your favorite book or game is 'stupid' and tries to make you feel bad for liking it? How can you protect your mental boundary?"

(Prompt for ideas like, 'I hear you, but I actually really like it,' 'We can have different opinions,' or 'Please don't put down what I enjoy.')

(Display Your Boundaries, Your Power Presentation - Slide 7: "Types of Boundaries: Emotional")

Teacher: "And finally, Emotional Boundaries. These are about your feelings. You are responsible for your feelings, and your friends are responsible for theirs. It's about not taking on someone else's problems or feeling like you have to fix their emotions all the time."

"What if a friend is constantly upset about something, and they always come to you expecting you to make them feel better, making you feel drained or anxious? How can you set an emotional boundary?"

(Prompt for ideas like, 'I'm here to listen, but I can't fix this for you,' 'Maybe you should talk to an adult about this,' or 'I need a break from talking about this right now.')

Teacher: "It's important to remember that all these types of boundaries help us feel respected and in control of our own lives and friendships."

Scenario Analysis & Discussion (10 minutes)

(Display Your Boundaries, Your Power Presentation - Slide 8: "Scenario 1: The Teasing Trap")

Teacher: "Alright, let's put these ideas into practice. I'm going to hand out a worksheet with some scenarios that many middle schoolers face. We'll read through each one and discuss them together. Think about where boundaries are needed and how you could use assertive communication, keeping in mind the different types of boundaries we just discussed, and focusing on your actions and responses."

*(Distribute the Boundary Scenarios Worksheet.)

Teacher: "Let's look at Scenario 1: The Teasing Trap."

"Your friends are making fun of another student, calling them names and making jokes about their clothes. They turn to you and say, 'Come on, join us! It's just a bit of fun. Don't be a spoilsport!' You feel uncomfortable and know it's wrong, but you don't want your friends to be mad at you or think you're boring."

"What types of boundaries are being challenged here? (Hint: Think about your values and your feelings.) What happens when you don't set a boundary here? How might you feel later?"

(Allow responses - mental/emotional boundaries, guilt, regret, going against values.)

"Now, how could you respond assertively, focusing on your own choice and action? What could you say or do to show you're not okay with this?"

(Guide them towards phrases like: 'I won't join in on that.', 'That makes me uncomfortable, so I'm going to step away.', 'I don't think that's fair to [person's name].')

(Display Your Boundaries, Your Power Presentation - Slide 9: "Scenario 2: Drama Detector")

Teacher: "Next up, Scenario 2: Drama Detector."

"Two of your close friends, Sarah and Emily, are in a big argument. They both keep coming to you separately, telling you all the bad things the other friend has done and trying to get you to agree with them and take their side. You feel stressed, caught in the middle, and like you have to choose."

"What type of boundary is especially important here? Why is it hard to stay out of drama like this? What's the temptation to get involved?"

(Allow responses - emotional boundaries, fear of losing a friend, wanting to help, curiosity.)

"How can you protect your own peace and set a boundary to stay out of drama that doesn't involve you? What's an assertive way to respond to both friends, focusing on your actions and choices?"

(Guide them towards phrases like: 'I care about both of you, but I won't take sides in your argument.', 'I'm not going to discuss this with you.', 'I hope you two can sort things out, but I'm going to talk about something else.')

(Display Your Boundaries, Your Power Presentation - Slide 10: "Scenario 3: Broken Promises, Broken Trust")

Teacher: "Finally, Scenario 3: Broken Promises, Broken Trust."

"A friend continually posts pictures or comments about you on social media that you find embarrassing or hurtful, even though you've already asked them several times to stop. Each time, they say, 'Oh, I forgot!' or 'It's just a joke!' but they keep doing it. You feel disrespected and betrayed."

"What types of boundaries are being crossed here? What happens if you don't take further action to reinforce your boundary? What could be the long-term impact on your trust and friendship?"

(Allow responses - emotional, mental, possibly even physical if it impacts safety/reputation; betrayal, anger, sadness, feeling powerless.)

"This is a tough one. How can you address this assertively, focusing on your actions and what you will do if the behavior continues?"

(Guide them to understand the need for clear, direct communication, possibly escalating if the behavior doesn't stop. Examples: 'I asked you not to post that. When you do, it makes me feel [hurt/disrespected]. If it happens again, I'll need to [take a break from talking/block you/talk to an adult].', 'I need you to delete that post immediately. If you don't, I will [unfriend you/block you].')

Role-Playing Assertive Responses (5 minutes)

(Display Your Boundaries, Your Power Presentation - Slide 11: "Practice Makes Progress!")

Teacher: "Excellent discussions! Now, let's try some role-playing. It might feel a little awkward at first, but practicing helps us build confidence. Who would like to role-play one of the scenarios and try out an assertive response, remembering to focus on your own actions and what you are willing to do? You can choose a partner, or I can play the role of the friend."

(Facilitate 1-2 short role-plays. Provide positive feedback on their assertive communication and offer gentle suggestions for improvement.)

Teacher: "Remember to use a calm, clear voice, make eye contact, and stand tall. Your body language also speaks volumes!"

Cool-Down: Boundary Check-In (5 minutes)

(Display Your Boundaries, Your Power Presentation - Slide 12: "Your Power to Choose")

Teacher: "We're almost out of time, but before we go, I want you to take a moment for a quick 'Boundary Check-In.' Please take out your Boundary Check-In Cool Down sheet."

*(Distribute the Boundary Check-In Cool Down.)

Teacher: "On this sheet, I want you to jot down: What is one thing you learned today about boundaries or assertiveness that you want to remember? And how do you think you can use this 'boundary power' to make your friendships stronger and healthier?"

(Give students a few minutes to write. Then, invite a couple of volunteers to share their thoughts.)

Teacher: "Fantastic job today, everyone! Remember, your boundaries are important, and you have the power to set them. This isn't about being mean; it's about being respectful to yourself and teaching others how to respect you too. Keep practicing, and you'll get more confident with every 'line' you draw. Thank you!"

Boundary Scenarios: Your Power to Choose

Name: ____________________________

Introduction

Today, we talked about healthy boundaries – the invisible lines that protect your feelings, thoughts, and personal space. We also learned about assertiveness, which is how you respectfully communicate those boundaries.

Read each scenario below. First, think about what happens when boundaries are not set. Then, brainstorm assertive ways to respond and draw healthy boundaries.

Scenario 1: The Teasing Trap

Your friends are making fun of another student, calling them names and making jokes about their clothes. They turn to you and say, "Come on, join us! It's just a bit of fun. Don't be a spoilsport!" You feel uncomfortable and know it's wrong, but you don't want your friends to be mad at you or think you're boring.

A. Lack of Healthy Boundaries:

What happens if you don't set a boundary in this situation? How might you feel later?

B. Developing Good Boundaries & Assertive Response:

What could you say or do to set a healthy boundary and show you're not okay with teasing, while still being respectful?

Scenario 2: Drama Detector

Two of your close friends, Sarah and Emily, are in a big argument. They both keep coming to you separately, telling you all the bad things the other friend has done and trying to get you to agree with them and take their side. You feel stressed, caught in the middle, and like you have to choose.

A. Lack of Healthy Boundaries:

What happens if you do get involved in their drama and don't set a boundary? How might it affect your friendships and your own feelings?

B. Developing Good Boundaries & Assertive Response:

How can you set a healthy boundary to stay out of drama that doesn't include you? What assertive statements could you use with Sarah and Emily?

Scenario 3: Broken Promises, Broken Trust (Social Media)

A friend continually posts pictures or comments about you on social media that you find embarrassing or hurtful, even though you've already asked them several times to stop. Each time, they say, "Oh, I forgot!" or "It's just a joke!" but they keep doing it. You feel disrespected and betrayed.

A. Lack of Healthy Boundaries:

What happens if you don't take further action to reinforce your boundary? What could be the long-term impact on your trust and friendship?

B. Developing Good Boundaries & Assertive Response:

What more assertive steps can you take when someone repeatedly disrespects your boundaries, especially in a public space like social media? What exactly could you say or do?

Boundary Check-In: Your Power to Choose

Name: ____________________________

Take a few moments to reflect on what we discussed today about healthy boundaries and assertiveness. Your thoughts and feelings are important!

Reflection Questions:

1. What is one new thing you learned or one important reminder you got today about setting healthy boundaries or being assertive?
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

2. Think about one of the scenarios we discussed today, or a situation you've experienced. How could using assertive communication help you feel more confident or safer in that situation?
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

3. Why is it important to respect your own boundaries, even if it feels difficult at first?
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

4. What is one small step you can take this week to practice being more assertive or setting a boundary in your friendships?