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When Goodbyes Hurt

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Lesson Plan

When Goodbyes Hurt Plan

Students will explore and name their feelings after losing a family member, express grief through drawing or writing, and learn healthy coping strategies to manage emotions.

Grief can be overwhelming for children. This session creates a safe space for 4th graders to process loss, validate emotions, and build early resilience through guided expression and coping tools.

Audience

4th Grade

Time

30 minutes

Approach

Guided reflection and interactive coping exercises

Materials

Prep

Prepare Materials and Environment

5 minutes

  • Review the Feelings Journal and Coping Strategies Worksheet
  • Gather a tissue box, colored pencils, and drawing paper in a quiet, private space
  • Ensure seating is comfortable and free from distractions
  • Familiarize yourself with key supportive prompts

Step 1

Build Rapport and Introduce Session

5 minutes

  • Greet the student warmly and confirm they feel comfortable
  • Explain that todays session is a safe time to talk or draw about feelings after a loss
  • Use open-ended questions (e.g., "How are you feeling today?") to invite sharing

Step 2

Explore Feelings Through Journaling

10 minutes

  • Provide the Feelings Journal
  • Invite the student to draw or write about memories of their loved one and how they feel now
  • Ask reflective prompts: "What colors represent your feelings?" "Where do you feel these emotions in your body?"

Step 3

Introduce Healthy Coping Strategies

8 minutes

  • Present the Coping Strategies Worksheet
  • Discuss each strategy (deep breathing, talking to a friend, drawing, remembering positive memories)
  • Have the student circle 2–3 strategies theyre willing to try
  • Practice one selected strategy together (e.g., guided deep breathing)

Step 4

Close Session and Plan Next Steps

7 minutes

  • Summarize key insights: feelings named and chosen coping tools
  • Ask the student which strategy theynm most likely to use and when
  • Encourage regular practice and remind them that itns okay to seek support
  • Schedule the next check-in and offer additional resources
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Slide Deck

When Goodbyes Hurt

30-Minute Individual Support for 4th Graders
• Explore feelings after losing a family member
• Express grief through drawing or writing
• Learn healthy coping strategies

Welcome the student warmly. Explain that today’s session is a safe, private time to talk or draw about feelings after a loss.

Session Guidelines

• This is a safe, private space
• You can talk or draw—no right or wrong way
• Everything you share stays between us

Set clear guidelines so the student feels secure.

Naming Your Feelings

• Use the Feelings Journal
• Draw or write memories of your loved one
• Reflect: What colors represent your feelings?
• Notice: Where do you feel these emotions in your body?

Hand the student the Feelings Journal. Prompt them gently with questions.

Healthy Coping Strategies

• Deep breathing
• Talking to a friend or family member
• Drawing or writing about memories
• Remembering positive moments

Circle 2–3 you’d like to try on the Coping Strategies Worksheet.

Introduce each strategy from the worksheet and invite the student to circle their top choices.

Try Deep Breathing Together

  1. Breathe in slowly for 4 seconds
  2. Hold for 2 seconds
  3. Exhale for 6 seconds
  4. Repeat 3 times

Lead the student through a short breathing exercise, counting together.

Next Steps

• Which strategy will you use this week?
• When will you practice it?
• It’s okay to seek support anytime
• Let’s schedule our next check-in

Summarize the session and plan follow-up.

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Journal

Feelings Journal

Welcome to your Feelings Journal. Use this space to draw or write about memories, emotions, and ways to feel better when you miss someone special.

1. Remembering My Loved One

Draw a picture or write about a special memory with your loved one.












2. Describing My Feelings

Write three words that describe how you feel right now:

  1. ___________________________

  2. ___________________________

  3. ___________________________

Pick one of these words and tell more about it:







3. Where I Feel It

Sometimes our emotions show up in our bodies. Where do you feel this feeling?

  • Location (e.g., chest, stomach, shoulders): ___________________________

  • Describe the sensation (e.g., tight, warm, heavy): ___________________________

Draw or write the shape of this feeling in your body:












4. Colors of My Emotions

Colors can help us understand how we feel. Choose a color for each feeling you’ve named and draw shapes or color blocks for them below:












5. Finding Comfort and Coping

When I miss my loved one, here are some things I can try to help me feel better (see Coping Strategies Worksheet) :

  • Strategy 1: ___________________________

  • Strategy 2: ___________________________

  • Strategy 3: ___________________________

Which one will I practice first, and when?







You can return to this journal anytime you need space to remember, reflect, or try a new way to feel better.

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Worksheet

Coping Strategies Worksheet

Use this worksheet to explore different ways to feel better when you miss someone special. Read each strategy below, then choose and plan how you will use them.

1. Choose Your Strategies

Below are healthy coping ideas. Circle three that you’d like to try.

○ Deep Breathing     ○ Drawing or Coloring     ○ Writing a Letter or Journal Entry
○ Talking with a Friend or Family Member     ○ Looking at Photos or Mementos     ○ Listening to Music
○ Going for a Walk or Moving My Body     ○ Doing Something Kind for Myself (like reading a book)     ○ Remembering Positive Memories
○ Asking for Help or a Hug




2. Plan and Prepare

For each of the three strategies you circled, fill in the details below.

Strategy 1: ___________________________

  • Why I chose this:


  • When I will try it (day/time):


Strategy 2: ___________________________

  • Why I chose this:


  • When I will try it (day/time):


Strategy 3: ___________________________

  • Why I chose this:


  • When I will try it (day/time):


3. Reflect After Trying

Once you’ve practiced these strategies, write about how they helped you.

  • How did I feel before I tried my strategies?





  • How did I feel after I used them?





  • Which strategy helped me the most, and why?





(Tip: Keep this worksheet somewhere you can see it, and use it whenever you need a helpful idea to feel better.)

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