Style Self-Assessment Worksheet

Instructions:
Read each statement and circle the number that best reflects how true it is for you.
(1 = Strongly Disagree, 2 = Disagree, 3 = Neutral, 4 = Agree, 5 = Strongly Agree)

Part 1: Rate Each Statement

Style #1: The Empathetic Ally

1. I naturally start by acknowledging others’ feelings before addressing the issue. 1 2 3 4 5
   
2. I use reflective listening (“What I hear you saying…”) to validate emotions. 1 2 3 4 5
   
3. I find it hard to maintain boundaries when someone is upset. 1 2 3 4 5
   
4. I offer choices to help others feel in control during a conflict. 1 2 3 4 5
   

Style #2: The Rational Guide

1. I rely on facts and clear information to help calm tense situations. 1 2 3 4 5
   
2. I reframe distorted thinking by presenting logical alternatives. 1 2 3 4 5
   
3. I sometimes come across as dismissive of emotions when I focus on logic. 1 2 3 4 5
   
4. I check in on how others feel when sharing facts (“I know this feels frustrating…”). 1 2 3 4 5
   

Style #3: The Collaborative Partner

1. I involve others in solving the issue and co-create solutions. 1 2 3 4 5
   
2. I encourage brainstorming and value everyone’s input. 1 2 3 4 5
   
3. I sometimes struggle to make decisions when the group has too many ideas. 1 2 3 4 5
   
4. I summarize next steps and ensure everyone agrees before moving on. 1 2 3 4 5
   

Style #4: The Calm Authority

1. I maintain firm, consistent boundaries delivered in a calm tone. 1 2 3 4 5
   
2. I model self-regulation when under pressure. 1 2 3 4 5
   
3. I sometimes sound rigid or aloof when asserting authority. 1 2 3 4 5
   
4. I offer de-escalation options (breaks, quiet space) when enforcing rules. 1 2 3 4 5
   

Part 2: Calculate Your Scores

• Total Empathetic Ally Score: ________


• Total Rational Guide Score: ________


• Total Collaborative Partner Score: ________


• Total Calm Authority Score: ________

Identify Your Dominant Style (highest score): ________

Part 3: Reflection and Next Steps

1. Why do you think this style resonates most with you?
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. What is one potential pitfall you’ll watch for with this style?
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. Which trauma-informed tip from De-Escalation Styles Overview will you practice first?
   
   
   
   
   
   
4. How will you apply this insight in your next interaction at school?
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

There are no right or wrong answers—this assessment is for your personal growth.

Small-Group Debrief Discussion Guide

Duration: 20 minutes
Group Size: 4–5 participants
Materials:

• Style Self-Assessment worksheets
• De-Escalation Styles Overview slide deck (for quick reference)
• Flip chart paper & markers

1. Establish Group Norms (2 minutes)

• Commit to confidentiality—what’s shared here stays here.
• Practice active listening—one person speaks at a time.
• Assume positive intent and show respect for all styles.

2. Share Your Assessment Results (5 minutes)

1. Go around the group and name your dominant de-escalation style and its score.
2. For each person, note on the flip chart:
   • Style name
   • Total score

Facilitator Prompt: “What stood out to you when you saw your highest score?”

3. Identify Strengths & Pitfalls (6 minutes)

• Using your style description in the De-Escalation Styles Overview, share one strength that you feel aligns with your natural approach.
– How have you seen this strength play out in your work?
• Then, discuss one potential pitfall or growth area for that style.
– What warning sign will remind you to adapt or pause?

Facilitator Prompt: “Can someone give a quick example of a time this pitfall showed up and how you handled it?”

4. Plan a Trauma-Informed Strategy (5 minutes)

1. Review the trauma-informed tips for your style on the slide deck.
2. Choose one tip you will focus on strengthening in the next week.
3. On a shared flip chart, write:
   • Your chosen tip
   • One concrete action you will take to practice it

Facilitator Prompt: “How will this action support positive interactions with students or colleagues?”

5. Group Reflection & Next Steps (2 minutes)

• Identify common themes across the group’s commitments.
• Decide on one strategy your table will share during the whole-staff wrap-up.
• Agree on how you’ll hold each other accountable (e.g., quick check-in next week).

Facilitator Tip: Circulate and encourage concise sharing; help groups synthesize their top takeaways on flip chart paper for the larger group to review.