Do Now: Passive vs. Aggressive Sort

Instructions: Read each statement below. Decide if the statement is Passive or Aggressive and write your answer in the space provided. Be ready to explain your choices!

1. "Whatever you want to do is fine with me. I don't really care."
   
   
   

2. "You always interrupt me! You never let me finish what I'm saying!"
   
   
   

3. "I guess I could do that, if it's not too much trouble."
   
   
   

4. "My way is the only way this will work. Just do what I say."
   
   
   

5. "You should have known I was busy; it's your fault this didn't get done."
   
   
   

6. "Oh, it's nothing important. Don't worry about what I was going to say."
   
   
   

Tone-o-Meter Practice: How Loud Is Your Message?

Introduction: Your words are powerful, but how you deliver them can change everything! Today, we're going to practice using our voices and bodies to make sure our assertive messages are heard clearly and respectfully.

Part 1: Voice Volume Check

Instructions: We will use the phrase "Excuse me, I need to speak to you." Practice saying this phrase using the tones described below. Listen to yourself and your classmates. How does each tone make the message feel?

1. Whisper-Passive: Say it so quietly no one can barely hear you.
   
   
   

2. Yell-Aggressive: Say it loudly, as if you are angry or demanding.
   
   
   

3. Calm-Assertive: Say it clearly and steadily, with enough volume for everyone to hear comfortably, but without yelling.
   
   
   

Part 2: Body Language Boost

Instructions: Now, let's add our body language. Practice standing or sitting in a way that matches each communication style. How does your body make you feel?

1. Passive Posture: Slumped shoulders, looking down, fidgeting, hands hidden.
   
   
   

2. Aggressive Stance: Hands on hips, pointing, leaning in too close, glaring, clenched fists.
   
   
   

3. Assertive Stance: Standing tall, shoulders back, open hand gestures, good eye contact, relaxed facial expression.
   
   
   

Discussion Prompt: How did combining the assertive tone with assertive body language make the message feel different? What did you notice about yourself and your classmates?

Boundary Role-Play Cards

Instructions: In your pairs/groups, take turns role-playing these scenarios. One person will deliver an assertive "I-statement" to set a boundary or express a need, and the other will play the role of the person receiving the message. Focus on using clear language, an assertive tone, and confident body language. Use your Self-Assessment Notes for feedback.

Scenario 1: Group Project Troubles

Your Role: You are working on a group project, and one member (played by your partner) consistently misses deadlines and doesn't contribute equally. The project is due soon.

Your Goal: Deliver an "I-statement" to your group member expressing your concern and asking for them to contribute more. (e.g., "I feel frustrated when you miss deadlines because it puts extra work on the rest of the team. I need you to complete your part by tomorrow.")

Partner Role: Act like someone who is a bit defensive or makes excuses.

Scenario 2: Borrowed Item

Your Role: A friend (played by your partner) borrowed your favorite hoodie/book/game a week ago and hasn't returned it, despite you asking casually twice. You really want it back.

Your Goal: Deliver an "I-statement" to your friend to firmly ask for your item back. (e.g., "I feel annoyed when my hoodie isn't returned because I really wanted to wear it today. I need you to bring it back to me by the end of the school day.")

Partner Role: Act like someone who forgot or is a little irresponsible.

Scenario 3: Unwanted Advice

Your Role: An acquaintance (played by your partner) keeps giving you unsolicited advice about your choices (e.g., your clothes, your hobbies, your schoolwork) and it makes you uncomfortable.

Your Goal: Deliver an "I-statement" to your acquaintance to politely but firmly ask them to stop. (e.g., "I feel uncomfortable when you give me advice about my clothes because I prefer to make my own choices. I need you to respect that.")

Partner Role: Act like someone who thinks they are being helpful but isn't listening well.

Scenario 4: Interruptions

Your Role: You are trying to tell a story or explain something to a friend (played by your partner), but they keep interrupting you before you can finish.

Your Goal: Deliver an "I-statement" to your friend asking them to let you finish speaking. (e.g., "I feel unheard when you interrupt me because I want to share my whole thought. I need you to let me finish before you speak.")

Partner Role: Act like someone who is excited and keeps talking over you without realizing it.

Self-Assessment Notes: How Did I Do? / How Did They Do?

Instructions: Use this sheet to give and receive feedback during the role-play. When you are the one delivering the "I-statement," assess yourself. When you are the listener, assess your partner. Be honest and constructive – this helps everyone learn!

My Role-Play Assessment (or Partner Assessment)

Scenario: (Briefly describe the scenario you just role-played)

1. The "I-Statement" Itself

• Was the "I-statement" clear and did it follow the format (I feel..., when..., because..., I need...)?
  • Yes / Needs a little work / Not really
    
    
    
• What specific words or phrases were effective in the "I-statement"?
  
  
  
  
  
  
• What could be tweaked to make the "I-statement" even stronger or clearer?
  
  
  
  
  
  

2. Tone of Voice

• Was the tone of voice assertive (calm, clear, steady)?
  • Yes / Needs a little work / Not really
    
    
    
• Was it too passive (too quiet, hesitant)?
  • Yes / No
    
    
    
• Was it too aggressive (too loud, demanding)?
  • Yes / No
    
    
    
• What specific feedback do you have about the tone?
  
  
  
  
  
  

3. Body Language

• Was the body language assertive (good eye contact, open posture, confident stance)?
  • Yes / Needs a little work / Not really
    
    
    
• What specific feedback do you have about the body language (e.g., eye contact, gestures, posture, facial expression)?
  
  
  
  
  
  

4. Overall Impression

• How effective was the assertive communication in this role-play? What was the overall impact?
  
  
  
  
  
  

• One positive thing about the communication was:
  
  
  
  
  
  

• One area for improvement (one tweak) is:
  
  
  
  
  
  

Exit Ticket: One Tweak

Instructions: Before you leave, please reflect on today's lesson about assertive communication. Answer the question below thoughtfully.

My Assertiveness Tweak

What is one specific thing you learned or practiced today about assertive communication (e.g., about I-statements, tone, or body language) that you want to tweak or improve in your own communication moving forward?

Example: "I want to practice making more eye contact when I deliver an I-statement because I tend to look at the floor."

What is one specific situation where you think you could use an "I-statement" this week?