Respectful Voices: No Harm Script (Counselor & Student)

Introduction & Setting the Stage (5 minutes)

Counselor: "Hi [Student's Name], thanks for coming in today. We're going to use this time to have a really important, confidential conversation about communication and the impact our words can have. My goal here is to create a safe space for you to think and share, and for us to explore how we can all contribute to a more respectful school environment. How does that sound?"

Student:

Counselor: "Great. To start, I want to talk about how powerful words are. They can build people up, express kindness, and create strong connections. But unfortunately, they can also cause hurt, discomfort, and even make others feel unsafe. Can you think of a time when someone's words made you feel really good, or maybe a time when words made you feel not so good? You don't have to share details, just the feeling."

Student:

Counselor: "Thank you for sharing that. It really highlights how much weight our words carry, doesn't it?"

Understanding Impact of Language (10 minutes)

Counselor: "Let's talk about what 'crude' or 'mean' language can look like. Crude language often includes offensive, vulgar, or inappropriate comments. Mean comments are intentionally hurtful, derogatory, or mocking remarks. In your own words, what do you think is the difference between harmless teasing among friends and language that crosses the line into being crude or mean?"

Student:

Counselor: "That's a good point. And sometimes, people might say, 'Oh, it was just a joke.' But if someone is hurt by it, is it always 'just a joke'? What kind of 'ripple effect' can these kinds of words have on someone? How might they make others feel, even if that wasn't the intention?"

Student:

Counselor: "Exactly. They can lead to embarrassment, anger, sadness, or even create an uncomfortable or hostile atmosphere. This is something we all need to be mindful of."

Counselor: "Now, I want to talk about a particularly serious type of language: comments or jokes about domestic violence. Let's be very clear: this kind of language is never okay and is absolutely unacceptable. In your view, why are remarks, especially those directed at or about female students, that involve domestic violence so profoundly harmful? What message does it send to them and to our school community?"

Student:

Counselor: "You're hitting on crucial points. Domestic violence is a very real and devastating issue in our society. Joking about it normalizes abuse, trivializes the pain of victims, and can create deep fear and insecurity, especially for those who may have personal experiences with it. It shows a profound disrespect for the dignity and safety of others. Our school must be a place where no one feels threatened or devalued by such comments."

Scenario-Based Reflection (10 minutes)

Counselor: "To help us understand this better and practice using our 'respectful voices,' let's look at a few scenarios. I'll read them out, and I'd like you to tell me what you think about them. We'll discuss each one.

Scenario 1: The 'Funny' Comment

Counselor: "During lunch, a group of male students are talking loudly. One student, Liam, points across the cafeteria at a female student and says, 'Look at Sarah, her outfit today looks like she just rolled out of bed!' His friends laugh, and Sarah, who is within earshot, overhears the comment and looks down, visibly embarrassed."

"What's problematic about Liam's comment here? How do you think Sarah might feel, and how could this impact her day or her feeling of belonging at school?"

Student:

Counselor: "And if Liam felt the need to comment, what could he have said or done differently that would have been respectful? What about his friends – what role do bystanders have in a situation like this?"

Student:

Scenario 2: The 'Dark Humor' Joke

Counselor: "In the hallway between classes, a few male students are making jokes. One student, Mark, says to another, 'If you don't finish that homework, I'm going to pull a [name of famous domestic abuser] on you!' and makes a mock aggressive gesture. Two female students walking past visibly wince and quicken their pace."

"Even if Mark says it's 'just a joke,' why is this comment about domestic violence so harmful? How might the female students who overheard this feel, and why is it important to consider their perspective?"

Student:

Counselor: "What responsibility do students have to avoid language that normalizes or trivializes violence like this? And if you were a peer hearing this comment, what do you think would be the right thing to do?"

Student:

Scenario 3: Online Insults

Counselor: "During an online class discussion, a female student, Chloe, shares an opinion that a male student, David, disagrees with. Instead of responding thoughtfully, David types into the chat, 'That's a stupid idea, you always come up with dumb stuff. You sound like you belong in the kitchen, not in this class.' The teacher intervenes, but Chloe is clearly upset."

"What makes David's comments inappropriate and harmful, especially the gender-based insult? What specific harm can such comments cause in an educational setting like an online class?"

Student:

Counselor: "How could David have expressed his disagreement respectfully, without resorting to personal attacks? And if you were another student in that online class, what actions could you take to support Chloe or address David's behavior, perhaps by reporting it or speaking up respectfully?"

Student:

Personal Commitment & Next Steps (5 minutes)

Counselor: "We've covered a lot today, [Student's Name]. To wrap up, let's remember a few things. We all need to think before we speak: Is what I'm about to say kind? Is it necessary? Is it true? Is it helpful? And importantly, let's all try to be upstanders. If you hear disrespectful language, challenge it respectfully."

Counselor: "My challenge to you is this: What is one thing you will commit to doing differently, starting today, to use your voice more respectfully and help create a safer, more positive school environment for everyone? It could be about pausing before speaking, or maybe speaking up when you hear something inappropriate. Take a moment to think about that."

Student:

Counselor: "That's a very thoughtful commitment, and I appreciate you reflecting on it. Remember, your words have power, and choosing to use them respectfully makes a huge difference. I'm here to support you if you want to discuss this further, or anything else, in the future. Thanks for your honest engagement today."

Discussion Scenarios: Choosing Respectful Words

Instructions: With your counselor, you will discuss each scenario. Reflect on the following questions for each:

1. What is the problematic language or behavior in this scenario?
2. What is the potential impact of these words on the female students and the overall school environment?
3. What are some respectful and appropriate ways the students could have communicated or acted instead?
4. What could a bystander do in this situation?

Scenario 1: The 'Funny' Comment

During lunch, a a group of male students are talking loudly. One student, Liam, points across the cafeteria at a female student and says, "Look at Sarah, her outfit today looks like she just rolled out of bed!" His friends laugh, and Sarah, who is within earshot, overhears the comment and looks down, visibly embarrassed.

Discussion Points:

• What's wrong with Liam's comment?
• How might Sarah feel? How does this impact her day and her feeling of belonging?
• What could Liam have said or done differently if he felt the need to comment?
• What could Liam's friends have done in this situation?

Scenario 2: The 'Dark Humor' Joke

In the hallway between classes, a few male students are making jokes. One student, Mark, says to another, "If you don't finish that homework, I'm going to pull a [name of famous domestic abuser] on you!" and makes a mock aggressive gesture. Two female students walking past visibly wince and quicken their pace.

Discussion Points:

• Why is Mark's comment about domestic violence so harmful, even if he says it's "just a joke"?
• How might the female students who overheard this feel?
• What responsibility do students have to avoid language that normalizes or trivializes violence?
• What could a peer do if they heard this comment?

Scenario 3: Online Insults

During an online class discussion, a female student, Chloe, shares an opinion that a male student, David, disagrees with. Instead of responding thoughtfully, David types into the chat, "That's a stupid idea, you always come up with dumb stuff. You sound like you belong in the kitchen, not in this class." The teacher intervenes, but Chloe is clearly upset.

Discussion Points:

• What makes David's comments inappropriate and harmful?
• What specific harm can gender-based insults cause in an educational setting?
• How could David have expressed his disagreement respectfully?
• If you were another student, what actions could you take to support Chloe or address David's behavior (e.g., reporting, speaking up respectfully)?