Supportive Statement Builder

Name: ____________________________

This worksheet will help you practice building supportive statements for your child. Remember the three key steps:

1. Acknowledge the feeling: Show you hear and understand their emotion.
2. Validate the experience: Let them know their feelings make sense given the situation.
3. Express confidence: Communicate your belief in their ability to cope or find a solution.

Practice Scenarios

Scenario 1: Your child says, "I hate math! It's too hard and I'm never going to understand it."

1. Acknowledge the feeling: What do you hear your child saying? What emotion are they expressing?
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. Validate the experience: Why might your child feel this way? What part of their experience makes this emotion understandable?
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. Express confidence: How can you convey belief in their ability to learn or overcome this challenge?
   
   
   
   
   
   
4. Put it all together: Write out your full supportive statement.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

Scenario 2: Your teenager is upset because they didn't get invited to a party that many of their friends are attending.

1. Acknowledge the feeling: What do you hear your teenager saying? What emotion are they expressing?
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. Validate the experience: Why might your teenager feel this way? What part of their experience makes this emotion understandable?
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. Express confidence: How can you convey belief in their ability to handle social challenges or bounce back?
   
   
   
   
   
   
4. Put it all together: Write out your full supportive statement.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

Scenario 3: Your child is frustrated because their elaborate block tower keeps falling apart.

1. Acknowledge the feeling: What do you hear your child saying? What emotion are they expressing?
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. Validate the experience: Why might your child feel this way? What part of their experience makes this emotion understandable?
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. Express confidence: How can you convey belief in their ability to problem-solve or persevere?
   
   
   
   
   
   
4. Put it all together: Write out your full supportive statement.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

My Own Scenario

Think of a recent time your child came to you with a problem or big feeling. How could you have responded with a supportive statement?

Child's statement/situation:

My supportive statement:

Sample Conversation Scripts: Validation in Action

These scripts provide examples of how supportive statements, incorporating validation, can be used in different scenarios. Notice the difference between a 'Typical Response' and a 'Supportive Response'.

Scenario 1: Fear of a New Situation

Child (8 years old): "I don't want to go to summer camp. What if no one likes me? What if it's boring?"

Typical Response (Reassuring/Dismissing)

Parent: "Oh, don't be silly! Of course people will like you. Everyone loves camp, you'll have so much fun! You'll be fine."

• Why it might not help: Dismisses the child's real fears and makes them feel silly for having them. Focuses on changing the feeling rather than acknowledging it.

Supportive Response (Validating)

Parent: "It sounds like you're feeling a bit nervous about camp, and wondering what it will be like. That makes a lot of sense, it's a new place with new people, and it's normal to feel a little unsure. I remember feeling that way before new experiences too. I know you're brave and good at making friends, and I'm confident you'll find your way there."

• Why it helps: Acknowledges nervousness, validates it as a normal reaction, and expresses confidence in the child's ability to cope.

Scenario 2: Frustration with a Task

Child (11 years old): (Slamming down a pencil) "This homework is impossible! I don't get any of it! I'm just going to quit!"

Typical Response (Problem-Solving/Lecturing)

Parent: "Don't quit! Just calm down and read the instructions again. It's not impossible, you just need to focus. I'll show you how to do it."

• Why it might not help: Jumps immediately to solving the problem or instructing, which can invalidate the child's frustration and make them feel incompetent.

Supportive Response (Validating)

Parent: "Wow, you sound really frustrated with this homework right now. It's tough when you're working hard and it still feels confusing. I can see why you'd feel like quitting. Take a deep breath. You've tackled challenging problems before, and I believe you can find a way through this one. What part feels most confusing to you?"

• Why it helps: Acknowledges frustration, validates the difficulty of the task, expresses confidence in their ability, and then gently opens the door to problem-solving together.

Scenario 3: Sadness over a Loss (e.g., a broken toy, a pet, a friendship)

Child (6 years old): (Crying) "My favorite teddy bear ripped! It's ruined forever!"

Typical Response (Minimizing)

Parent: "Oh honey, it's just a toy. We can get you a new one, or Grandma can sew it up. Don't cry, it's not the end of the world."

• Why it might not help: Minimizes the child's grief and teaches them their feelings aren't important or valid.

Supportive Response (Validating)

Parent: "Oh no, your teddy bear ripped! I can see how sad and upset you are right now. It's really hard when something you love gets broken, and it's okay to feel sad about it. Teddy has been your special friend for so long. Let's hold him close, and we can think together about what we might do."

• Why it helps: Acknowledges sadness, validates the importance of the toy and the child's connection to it, and offers comfort and partnership without minimizing the feeling.