lenny

I-Message Magic

user image

Lesson Plan

I-Message Lesson Outline

Equip the 3rd grade student with a clear, structured I-message formula (I feel ___ when ___ because ___, and I need ___) and practice expressing emotions in real-life scenarios to improve self-awareness and reduce frustration.

Teaching I-messages helps students articulate feelings constructively, reduces misunderstandings and conflicts, and builds self-regulation and communication skills essential for social-emotional growth.

Audience

3rd Grade Student

Time

15 minutes

Approach

Model, guide practice, role-play, and journal reflection.

Materials

I-Message Magic Slides, I-Message Script Samples, I-Message Role-Play Cards, and Feelings Journal Prompts

Prep

Prepare Session Materials

5 minutes

Step 1

Introduction

3 minutes

  • Greet the student warmly and set a positive tone.
  • Introduce today's goal: learning to express feelings clearly with I-messages.
  • Ask the student to name a feeling they had recently to connect to topic.

Step 2

Teach and Model

4 minutes

Step 3

Guided Practice

4 minutes

  • Present a scenario and prompt the student to craft an I-message.
  • Use I-Message Role-Play Cards for turn-taking.
  • Provide feedback and scaffold wording as needed.

Step 4

Independent Practice

2 minutes

Step 5

Closure and Assessment

2 minutes

  • Review the I-message formula steps together.
  • Ask the student to state each step in order.
  • Praise their effort and discuss when they will use I-messages.
lenny
0 educators
use Lenny to create lessons.

No credit card needed

Slide Deck

I-Message Magic

Learn how to use I-messages to share feelings and needs clearly!

Welcome the student and introduce the session goal: learning to use I-messages to share feelings and needs.

What Is an I-Message?

An I-message is a way to tell someone how you feel without blaming them. It focuses on you and your needs.

Explain that I-messages help us express feelings without blaming others, and they help us solve problems together.

I-Message Formula

I feel [feeling] when [situation] because [reason], and I need [request].

Go through each part of the formula: feeling, situation, reason, and request. Ask the student to repeat each step.

Example 1

I feel upset when you take my pencil because I need it to finish my drawing, and I need you to ask before using it.

Read the example slowly. Point out where the feeling, situation, reason, and request appear.

Example 2

I feel sad when playtime ends because I want to keep playing, and I need one more minute to finish my game.

Discuss how this example shows a different feeling and situation. Ask if the student has questions.

Your Turn!

Use the formula below to write your own I-message:

I feel ______ when ______ because ______, and I need ______.

Prompt the student to think of a recent feeling. Encourage them to fill in each blank with their own words.

Great Job!

You have learned the I-message formula. Practice using it to share your feelings!

Celebrate the student’s effort. Encourage them to practice using I-messages throughout the day.

lenny

Script

I-Message Script Samples

Below are four ready-to-read I-message examples. Use these to model clear, respectful communication and to help the student hear different feelings and situations.

Example 1
“I feel frustrated when my friend starts the game without me because I need time to get ready, and I need you to wait so we can play together.”

Example 2
“I feel lonely when everyone plays at recess and I’m not asked to join because I want to be part of the group, and I need you to invite me to play.”

Example 3
“I feel upset when my little brother takes my toy without asking because I need it to finish my building, and I need you to ask before using it.”

Example 4 (Positive Feeling)
“I feel excited when we work on our science project together because I enjoy learning with you, and I need us to spend time exploring ideas as a team.”

Use these samples to show each part of the formula:

  1. I feel [feeling]
  2. when [situation]
  3. because [reason]
  4. and I need [request]

After modeling, ask the student to point out each part and try a new example of their own!


lenny
lenny

Activity

I-Message Role-Play Cards

Use these cards to practice taking turns. One person reads the scenario; the other responds with an I-message. Then switch roles!

Card 1
Scenario: Your classmate starts the game without you.







Card 2
Scenario: Someone borrows your pencil without asking and breaks the tip.







Card 3
Scenario: Your friend leaves you out of a drawing activity.







Card 4
Scenario: A sibling takes your toy without checking first.







Card 5
Scenario: Playground time ends and you aren’t ready to stop playing.







Card 6
Scenario: You and a friend are working on a project, but your friend isn’t sharing materials.












lenny
lenny

Journal

Feelings Journal Prompts

Use these prompts to practice writing I-messages, reflect on your feelings, and plan how you’ll use clear communication in real life. Take your time and write or draw your responses in the space provided.

1. I-Message in Action

Think of a time in the past few days when someone did something that made you feel upset or frustrated. Describe the situation and write an I-message using the formula:

I feel ______ when ______ because ______, and I need ______.











2. Reflect on the Process

After writing your I-message above, answer:

  • How did it feel to focus on your own feelings instead of blaming others?
  • Was any part of the formula hard or easy to fill in? Why?






3. Celebrate a Positive Feeling

Recall a recent moment when you felt happy or excited with a friend, family member, or classmate. Write an I-message that shows your positive feeling and what you need.











4. Plan Your Next I-Message

Imagine tomorrow you feel upset because someone interrupts you while talking. Write an I-message you could use to share your feelings calmly and clearly.







5. Draw Your I-Message Scene (Optional)

Draw a picture of yourself using an I-message. Show who you’re talking to and what you’re saying. Label the feeling and request in your drawing.














lenny
lenny