De-Escalate: The Defensive Challenge Game

Objective

To effectively identify stages of defensive behavior using the Verbal Escalation Continuum™ and apply appropriate intervention strategies.

Participants

150 School Employees (broken into small teams of 4-5)

Time Allotment

30 minutes

Materials Needed

• Scenario Cards
• Intervention Strategy Cards
• Answer Key (for facilitator use)
• Timer
• Whiteboards or large paper for each team
• Markers

Game Play

1. Team Formation (5 minutes)

   • Divide the 150 employees into small teams of 4-5 participants each. Aim for approximately 30-38 teams.
   • Each team should gather around a table or designated area with a whiteboard/large paper and markers.

2. Introduction (5 minutes)

   • The facilitator will explain the objective of the game: to practice recognizing defensive behaviors and applying de-escalation strategies from the CPI Crisis Development Model™ and Verbal Escalation Continuum™.
   • Explain that teams will be given scenario cards describing a situation. For each scenario, they must:
     1. Identify the stage of defensive behavior demonstrated.
     2. Choose the most appropriate intervention strategy from their Intervention Strategy Cards.
     3. Justify their choice based on the principles discussed in the module.
   • Emphasize that teamwork and clear communication are key.

3. Round 1: Scenario Challenge (10 minutes)

   • Distribute one Scenario Card to each team.
   • Give teams 5 minutes to read the scenario, discuss, identify the defensive stage, and select the best intervention strategy. They should write their answers and justifications on their whiteboard/paper.
   • After 5 minutes, ask teams to hold up their answers. The facilitator will review one or two examples from different teams, providing immediate feedback based on the Answer Key (for facilitator use).

4. Round 2: De-Escalation Practice (8 minutes)

   • Distribute a new Scenario Card to each team.
   • Give teams 5 minutes for this round. This time, in addition to identifying the stage and strategy, encourage them to brainstorm a specific phrase or action they would use as part of their chosen intervention strategy.
   • After 5 minutes, ask teams to share their responses. Facilitator provides feedback and highlights effective phrases/actions.

5. Wrap-up & Key Takeaways (2 minutes)

   • Briefly review the key principles of de-escalation at the Defensive level:
     • Rationally detach, remain supportive.
     • Use short, simple directive phrases.
     • Provide limits and choices.
     • Allow venting (when appropriate and safe).
     • Continually assess risk and call for help if needed.
   • Congratulate teams on their participation and reiterate the importance of these skills in their roles.

Scenario Cards (Examples - Facilitator to print and cut)

Scenario 1: Questioning

• Behavior: A parent approaches you, arms crossed, saying,

Scenario Cards

Instructions for the Facilitator:

Print these cards and cut them out. Each team should receive a unique scenario card for each round of the game.

Scenario Card 1: The Frustrated Parent

Situation: A parent approaches the front office aggressively. Their child missed the bus, and they just received a tardy notification. They begin to raise their voice, saying, "This is ridiculous! My child is never late, and now you're punishing them? You people have no idea what you're doing!"

Behavior Observed: Raising voice, blaming, generalized complaints, agitated tone.

Scenario Card 2: The Challenging Student

Situation: During class, you ask a student to put away their phone. The student glares at you and responds loudly, "Why do I always have to put it away? No one else does! You're always picking on me!"

Behavior Observed: Direct challenge to authority, blaming, accusations, agitated body language.

Scenario Card 3: The Refusing Colleague

Situation: You've asked a colleague to complete a task by the end of the day. They respond with a dismissive wave of their hand and say, "I'm not doing that. It's not my job, and you can't make me. Find someone else."

Behavior Observed: Direct refusal, dismissive gesture, uncooperative stance.

Scenario Card 4: The Intimidated Employee

Situation: You're discussing a policy change with an employee who suddenly leans in close, lowers their voice, and says with a sneer, "You know, it would be a real shame if someone 'accidentally' misplaced some important documents. Just sayin'."

Behavior Observed: Threats (subtle), invading personal space, attempt to intimidate.

Scenario Card 5: The Complaining Visitor

Situation: A visitor is waiting for an appointment and is told there will be a 15-minute delay. They throw their hands up and exclaim, "This is unacceptable! I have places to be! This school is always disorganized! I demand to speak to someone in charge RIGHT NOW!"

Behavior Observed: Verbal complaints, demanding, generalized statements of frustration, elevated tone.

Scenario Card 6: The Dismissive Student

Situation: You ask a student to quiet down during an independent work session. They roll their eyes, turn their back to you, and whisper loudly to a friend, "Whatever. This is so dumb."

Behavior Observed: Non-compliance, dismissive body language, back-talk (under breath).

Scenario Card 7: The Uncooperative Staff Member

Situation: During a staff meeting, you're discussing new procedures. A staff member repeatedly interrupts, makes sarcastic comments, and visibly rolls their eyes every time you speak. When directly addressed, they say, "I'm just saying what everyone else is thinking. This is a waste of time."

Behavior Observed: Interrupting, sarcasm, eye-rolling, verbalizing negativity, challenging the process.

Intervention Strategy Cards

Instructions for the Facilitator:

Print these cards and cut them out. Each team should receive a full set of these cards at the beginning of the game.

Strategy Card 1: Questioning Intervention

• Key Action: Rephrase, seek clarification, and focus on the core issue. Avoid getting defensive yourself. Use active listening.
• Example Phrase: "I hear you're concerned about [specific issue]. Can you tell me more about what happened from your perspective?"

Strategy Card 2: Refusal Intervention

• Key Action: Set limits and provide choices. Be concise and clear. State the desired behavior and positive outcome.
• Example Phrase: "You have a choice: you can either [desired behavior, e.g., put your phone away and participate] or [consequence, e.g., we'll need to discuss this with an administrator]."

Strategy Card 3: Release Intervention (Allow Venting)

• Key Action: Allow them to vent within reasonable limits. Rationally detach, let them express frustration, then redirect.
• Example Phrase: "I understand you're very upset. I'm here to listen. Once you're able to calm down a bit, we can talk about solutions."

Strategy Card 4: Intimidation Intervention

• Key Action: Take all threats seriously. Call for help if needed. Set clear, firm limits on unacceptable behavior. Ensure safety.
• Example Phrase: "I cannot allow threats or intimidation. If you continue, I will have to call security. What can we do to resolve this peacefully?"

Strategy Card 5: Challenging Intervention

• Key Action: Stick to the topic. Redirect back to the task or expected behavior. Avoid power struggles.
• Example Phrase: "I understand you have concerns, but right now, we need to focus on [the task/issue]. Let's come back to that later if we have time."

Answer Key: Defensive Challenge Game

Facilitator Notes:

This answer key provides the expected stage of defensive behavior and the most appropriate intervention strategy for each scenario. Remember that real-life situations can be nuanced, and open discussion around different perspectives is valuable.

Scenario 1: The Frustrated Parent

• Behavior Observed: Raising voice, blaming, generalized complaints, agitated tone.
• Defensive Stage: Release (Verbal Venting) / Questioning (potentially, if they are asking 'Why' more than just complaining).
• Most Appropriate Intervention Strategy: Release Intervention (Allow Venting) combined with Questioning Intervention (to rephrase and seek clarification once initial venting subsides).
• Reasoning: The parent is primarily expressing frustration. Allowing them to vent briefly can prevent escalation. Once they've released some of that emotion, you can then attempt to clarify their core concern.

Scenario 2: The Challenging Student

• Behavior Observed: Direct challenge to authority, blaming, accusations, agitated body language.
• Defensive Stage: Questioning (Challenging).
• Most Appropriate Intervention Strategy: Challenging Intervention followed by Refusal Intervention.
• Reasoning: The student is directly challenging your authority and the rule. It's crucial to stick to the topic (the phone) and avoid a power struggle. If the challenge continues, offering a clear limit and choice is the next step.

Scenario 3: The Refusing Colleague

• Behavior Observed: Direct refusal, dismissive gesture, uncooperative stance.
• Defensive Stage: Refusal.
• Most Appropriate Intervention Strategy: Refusal Intervention.
• Reasoning: This is a clear refusal. The most effective response is to calmly and respectfully set a limit and provide a choice, outlining the desired behavior and the outcome.

Scenario 4: The Intimidated Employee

• Behavior Observed: Threats (subtle), invading personal space, attempt to intimidate.
• Defensive Stage: Intimidation.
• Most Appropriate Intervention Strategy: Intimidation Intervention.
• Reasoning: Any form of threat or intimidation must be taken seriously. The immediate priority is safety and setting a very firm boundary against such behavior, escalating for help if necessary.

Scenario 5: The Complaining Visitor

• Behavior Observed: Verbal complaints, demanding, generalized statements of frustration, elevated tone.
• Defensive Stage: Release (Verbal Venting).
• Most Appropriate Intervention Strategy: Release Intervention (Allow Venting).
• Reasoning: Similar to the frustrated parent, this visitor is primarily venting frustration. Allow them a brief moment to express themselves, while maintaining rational detachment, before attempting to de-escalate or offer solutions.

Scenario 6: The Dismissive Student

• Behavior Observed: Non-compliance, dismissive body language, back-talk (under breath).
• Defensive Stage: Refusal (implied, by non-compliance) or Questioning (indirect challenge).
• Most Appropriate Intervention Strategy: Refusal Intervention or Challenging Intervention (to redirect to the behavior).
• Reasoning: While not a direct verbal refusal, the student's actions are non-compliant and dismissive. A clear, concise directive, possibly with a choice, is appropriate. If they then directly challenge, refer to the Challenging intervention.

Scenario 7: The Uncooperative Staff Member

• Behavior Observed: Interrupting, sarcasm, eye-rolling, verbalizing negativity, challenging the process.
• Defensive Stage: Questioning (Challenging).
• Most Appropriate Intervention Strategy: Challenging Intervention.
• Reasoning: The staff member is challenging the process and attempting to derail the meeting. It's important to stick to the topic of the meeting and avoid being drawn into a power struggle or debate about their personal feelings during this time. Redirect firmly but respectfully. If the behavior persists, a private conversation or a Refusal Intervention (choice to participate respectfully or leave) may be needed.