Trigger Identification Worksheet

Use this worksheet to become more aware of situations, people, or feelings that spark anger or tension. Identifying your triggers is the first step in managing and preventing conflict.

Part 1: Identify Three Triggers

1. Trigger #1: Describe the person, situation, event, or emotion that triggers you:

Category (Social, Academic, Personal, Other):

How you feel and think when this occurs:

1. Trigger #2: Describe the person, situation, event, or emotion that triggers you:

Category (Social, Academic, Personal, Other):

How you feel and think when this occurs:

1. Trigger #3: Describe the person, situation, event, or emotion that triggers you:

Category (Social, Academic, Personal, Other):

How you feel and think when this occurs:

Part 2: Reflection

Which of the above triggers would you most like to work on and why?

Part 3: Early Warning Signs

When a trigger is approaching, you might notice physical or emotional signals. List two early warning signs you experience:

1. Warning Sign #1:

1. Warning Sign #2:

Use your responses in upcoming sessions to practice pausing and choosing a calm response when you notice these signs.

Self-Awareness Reflection Sheet

Use this sheet to deepen your understanding of how one of your triggers affects you. Select the trigger you want to explore and answer the prompts below.

1. Chosen Trigger

Name or describe the trigger you will reflect on:

2. Physical Sensations

When this trigger occurs, what do you notice in your body? (e.g., heart rate, breathing, muscle tension)

3. Emotional Responses

How do you feel emotionally when this trigger happens? (e.g., anger, frustration, anxiety)

4. Thoughts and Self-Talk

What thoughts run through your mind? List at least three things you tell yourself in that moment:

1. Thought #1:

1. Thought #2:

1. Thought #3:

5. Typical Reactions

What actions or behaviors do you usually take when you experience this trigger?

6. Pause Technique & Reflection

Identify one pause or de-escalation technique you could use (e.g., deep breathing, counting, stepping away). Describe how you will use it next time:

Keep this reflection sheet handy and review it before facing situations involving this trigger. Use your insights to pause and choose a calmer response when you notice these signals.

Consequences of Fighting Handout

Fighting may seem like a quick way to solve a problem, but the outcomes can affect you and others in many unexpected ways. Understanding these consequences helps you make choices that protect your future and your relationships.

1. Legal Consequences

When a physical fight is reported or witnessed, it can lead to:

• Arrests and Criminal Charges
– You could face misdemeanor or felony charges.
– A juvenile or adult record may follow you into adulthood.

• School Disciplinary Action
– In-school or out-of-school suspension.
– Expulsion in severe or repeated cases.

• Financial Penalties
– Court fines or community service costs.
– Possible restitution payments if someone is hurt or property is damaged.

2. Social Consequences

Fighting affects more than just you—it ripples through your friendships, family, and reputation:

• Damaged Relationships
– Friends may take sides or distance themselves to stay out of trouble.
– Family members may lose trust or worry about your safety.

• Reputation Loss
– Rumors spread quickly, defining you as “the one who got into a fight.”
– Coaches, employers, or colleges may view you as a risk.

• Social Isolation
– Bullying or retaliation can follow, making you feel unsafe or alone.
– Peers may avoid you, limiting your support network.

3. Emotional Consequences

Physical violence can leave deep emotional scars:

• Guilt and Shame
– You might feel bad about hurting someone or letting your anger win.
– These feelings can lower your self-esteem.

• Anxiety and Fear
– Worrying about retaliation or future conflicts can keep you on edge.
– Sleep problems or difficulty concentrating may arise.

• Trauma and Anger Cycles
– Ongoing stress can lead to post-traumatic feelings.
– Unresolved anger may cause you to react violently again.

4. Long-Term Effects

A single fight can have lasting impact on your future:

• Educational Setbacks
– Suspensions or expulsions disrupt learning and grades.
– Lost opportunities for scholarships or college admissions.

• Career Obstacles
– A criminal record can limit job prospects.
– Employers may hesitate to hire someone with a history of violence.

• Ongoing Cycle of Violence
– Repeated conflicts reinforce aggressive behavior patterns.
– Over time, peaceful options seem less accessible.

5. Reflection

Take a moment to think about the fight you experienced or witnessed:

1. Which of these consequences affected you the most? Why?

1. What positive choices or strategies could you use instead of fighting? List two:

By recognizing these outcomes, you can choose responses that keep you and others safe, respected, and free to reach your goals.

For more on understanding and preventing future conflicts, continue to Session 3: De-Escalation Strategies.

Fighting Scenarios Card Set

Use these scenario cards to explore the real-world outcomes of fights. Read each situation aloud, then discuss potential legal, social, and emotional consequences.

Scenario 1: Hallway Collision
You’re walking to class and accidentally bump into another student. They snap at you, call you names, and shove you in anger.

Scenario 2: Accusation of Cheating
During a test, someone accuses you of copying their answers. You deny it, they grab your paper, and you push back.

Scenario 3: Teasing Over Clothes
A peer makes fun of your outfit in front of friends. When you confront them, they laugh and slap your phone out of your hand.

Scenario 4: Group Project Dispute
Your teammate refuses to do their part of a project. After arguing in the library, they throw books at you.

Scenario 5: Rumor Retaliation
You hear someone spreading a false rumor about you online. You meet them after school to talk, but they insult you and a fight starts.

Scenario 6: Game-Day Tension
At a basketball game, an opposing fan heckles you. You respond with insults, they jump the railing, and a physical altercation begins.

Use these cards in Session 2’s activity to analyze consequences and in Session 4 role-plays to apply your personalized plan.

Consequences Reflection Sheet

Use this worksheet to reflect on a specific conflict scenario, explore its personal impact, and plan non-violent alternatives.

1. Chosen Scenario

Name or describe the scenario you will reflect on (from Fighting Scenarios Card Set):

2. Most Significant Consequence

Which consequence (legal, social, emotional, long-term) from this scenario affects you the most? Why?

3. Alternative Actions

List two non-violent choices or strategies you could use instead of fighting. For each, explain how it could change the outcome:

1. Choice #1:

1. Choice #2:

4. Personal Commitment

Choose one of the alternatives above and write a short commitment on when and how you will use it if a similar conflict arises:

De-Escalation Techniques Handout

When tensions run high, having simple, proven strategies can help you calm down and respond peacefully. Use the techniques below to manage strong emotions and prevent conflicts from escalating.

1. Deep Breathing

Deep breathing helps slow your heart rate and clear your mind.

Steps:
• Sit or stand comfortably, shoulders relaxed.
• Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of 4.
• Hold your breath for a count of 7.
• Exhale fully through your mouth for a count of 8.
• Repeat this cycle 3–5 times, noticing your body relaxing.

When to use it:
• Right after you notice physical warning signs (tight chest, racing heart).
• Before responding to an insult or provocation.

2. Positive Self-Talk

Changing what you say to yourself can shift your mindset from anger to calm.

Steps:
• Notice negative thoughts (e.g., “They’re out to get me!”).
• Pause and replace them with neutral or kind statements (e.g., “I can handle this.”).
• Repeat your chosen phrase silently or under your breath.
• Focus on your breathing and the meaning of your positive statement.

When to use it:
• When you catch yourself thinking worst-case scenarios.
• During moments of rising tension to interrupt negative thought loops.

3. Respectful Language

Speaking calmly and clearly can defuse anger in both you and the other person.

Steps:
• Lower your voice and slow your speech.
• Use “I” statements (e.g., “I feel upset when…”).
• Avoid blaming or accusing words (“You always…”).
• Acknowledge the other person’s feelings (e.g., “I see you’re frustrated.”).
• Offer a constructive suggestion (e.g., “Can we take a break and talk later?”).

When to use it:
• In face-to-face conversations that feel like they might turn hostile.
• To show you’re listening and open to dialogue.

Reflection & Practice

Choose one de-escalation technique and plan how you will use it this week.

1. Technique I will practice:

1. When and where I will use it (be specific):

1. How I will know it’s working (what I’ll notice in my body or thoughts):

Keep this handout handy and refer to it whenever you sense anger or tension rising. In our next session, we’ll bring these techniques together into your own personalized conflict-resolution plan (see Personal Conflict Resolution Plan Template).

De-Escalation Role-Play Scenario Cards

Use these cards to practice responding calmly and defusing tension in each situation. For each scenario, choose a technique from De-Escalation Techniques Handout and act it out.

Scenario 1: Teacher’s Tardiness Check
You walk into class 15 minutes late. The teacher stops you at the door, raises their voice, and asks why you didn’t explain your tardiness earlier. You feel your face heat up as classmates stare.

Scenario 2: Hallway Insult
A peer makes a snide comment about your clothes as you pass in the hallway. When you confront them, they shrug and roll their eyes, then step closer in a mocking way.

Scenario 3: Team Project Tension
During a group meeting, a teammate refuses to do their share of the work and accuses you of slacking. They slam their laptop shut and glare at you across the table.

Scenario 4: Cafeteria Crowd Push
In the lunch line, someone accidentally bumps you and spills your tray. They apologize, but you’re already irritated and ready to snap back as they step away.

Use these cards during Session 3 role-plays to practice pausing, choosing a de-escalation strategy, and responding with calm, respectful language.

Personal Conflict Resolution Plan Template

Use this template to build a step-by-step plan for managing conflicts by combining your triggers, de-escalation strategies, and action steps. Set clear, realistic goals to practice your plan in real situations.

Part 1: Identify Two Main Triggers & Warning Signs

1. Trigger #1: Describe the situation, person, event, or feeling that most often leads to conflict for you:

Category (e.g., Social, Academic, Personal):

Early Warning Sign(s) you notice before anger escalates:


- Sign #1: _________________________


- Sign #2: _________________________

1. Trigger #2: Describe another frequent trigger:

Category (e.g., Social, Academic, Personal):

Early Warning Sign(s):


- Sign #1: _________________________


- Sign #2: _________________________

Part 2: Preferred De-Escalation Strategies

For each strategy, explain how and when you will use it.

1. Strategy #1 (Name):
   
   
   When I will use it:
   
   
   
   How I will do it (steps):

1. Strategy #2 (Name):
   
   
   When I will use it:
   
   
   
   How I will do it (steps):

1. Strategy #3 (Name):
   
   
   When I will use it:
   
   
   
   How I will do it (steps):

Part 3: Action Plan for a Common Conflict Scenario

Choose a realistic scenario (e.g., from your experience or Fighting Scenarios Card Set).

Scenario Description:

Step-by-Step Response Plan:

1. Step 1 – Pause & Assess:

1. Step 2 – Use Strategy (name):

1. Step 3 – Communicate (what you’ll say):

1. Step 4 – Follow-Up Action (if needed):

Part 4: Personal Goals & Check-In Dates

Set two specific goals for practicing your plan. Include when you will check progress.

1. Goal #1:
    What I will do: ________________________________________
   Target Date: _______________________

1. Goal #2:
    What I will do: ________________________________________
   Target Date: _______________________

Keep this plan accessible (e.g., in your notebook, phone, or locker). Review and practice weekly, and use your check-in dates to adjust strategies and goals as you learn what works best for you.

Self-Paced Conflict Resolution Guide

Welcome to your four-module, self-guided journey toward understanding and managing conflict peacefully. Each module takes about 30 minutes. Work at your own pace, use the linked materials, and pause for the reflection checkpoints.

How to Use This Guide

• Find a quiet space free of distractions.
• Gather any printed materials or open digital versions:
– Trigger Identification Worksheet
– Self-Awareness Reflection Sheet
– Consequences of Fighting Handout
– Fighting Scenarios Card Set
– Consequences Reflection Sheet
– De-Escalation Techniques Handout
– De-Escalation Role-Play Scenario Cards
– Personal Conflict Resolution Plan Template
• Set a timer for 30 minutes per module.
• Follow each step, then complete the reflection space before moving on.

Module 1: Identify Your Triggers & Build Self-Awareness

Objective: Pinpoint the top situations, people, or emotions that spark your anger and notice your early warning signs.

Materials: Trigger Identification Worksheet, Self-Awareness Reflection Sheet

Steps:

1. Read the brief introduction at the top of the Trigger Identification Worksheet.
2. In Part 1, list three personal triggers, categorize them, and describe how you feel and think when each occurs.
3. In Part 2, choose the trigger you want to work on most and explain why.
4. In Part 3, list two physical or emotional warning signs that tell you anger is building.
5. Move to the Self-Awareness Reflection Sheet:
   • Name your chosen trigger.
   • Describe the physical sensations and emotional responses you experience.
   • Write down at least three thoughts you notice.
   • Note your typical reactions and identify one pause or de-escalation technique you could use next time.

Reflection Checkpoint:

• Which trigger surprised you the most?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• How will you notice your warning signs earlier?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

Module 2: Understand the Consequences of Fighting

Objective: Explore the real legal, social, and emotional costs of violence to inform better choices.

Materials: Consequences of Fighting Handout, Fighting Scenarios Card Set, Consequences Reflection Sheet

Steps:

1. Read through the Consequences of Fighting Handout completely.
2. From the Fighting Scenarios Card Set, select one scenario at a time:
   • Read it aloud.
   • On a piece of paper or whiteboard, list potential legal, social, and emotional outcomes.
   • Repeat with 2–3 scenarios.
3. Open the Consequences Reflection Sheet and:
   • Name the scenario you’ll reflect on.
   • Identify which consequence impacts you most and why.
   • List two non-violent actions you could take instead, explaining how each changes the outcome.
   • Write a personal commitment to use one alternative if a similar conflict arises.

Reflection Checkpoint:

• Which type of consequence (legal, social, emotional) matters most to you—and why?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• What’s your one commitment for handling conflict differently?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

Module 3: Learn & Practice De-Escalation Techniques

Objective: Master three proven strategies to calm yourself and defuse tension before conflict escalates.

Materials: De-Escalation Techniques Handout, De-Escalation Role-Play Scenario Cards

Steps:

1. Read the De-Escalation Techniques Handout, noting the steps and when to use each technique:
   • Deep Breathing
   • Positive Self-Talk
   • Respectful Language
2. Practice each technique by yourself:
   • Deep Breathing: Pause and complete a full 4-7-8 cycle. Notice your heart rate and tension.
   • Positive Self-Talk: Speak a calm phrase (e.g., “I can handle this”) aloud or silently.
   • Respectful Language: Write an “I” statement you might use in conflict (e.g., “I feel upset when…”).
3. From the De-Escalation Role-Play Scenario Cards, choose a scenario and:
   • Read it.
   • Decide which technique to apply first.
   • Act out your response.
   • Reflect: What worked? What would you adjust?
   • Try a second card if time allows.

Reflection Checkpoint:

• Which de-escalation technique felt easiest?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• In real life, when will you use your chosen technique?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• How will you tell it’s working (body signs or thoughts)?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

Module 4: Build Your Personalized Conflict-Resolution Plan

Objective: Combine your triggers, warning signs, and strategies into a clear, actionable plan with personal goals.

Materials: Personal Conflict Resolution Plan Template

Steps:

1. Review your completed worksheets from Modules 1–3.
2. Open the Personal Conflict Resolution Plan Template and complete:
   • Part 1: List your top two triggers and their warning signs.
   • Part 2: Name three preferred de-escalation strategies, explaining when and how you’ll use each.
   • Part 3: Describe a common conflict scenario and write a step-by-step response (pause, apply strategy, communicate, follow up).
   • Part 4: Set two specific practice goals with target dates.
3. Practice your plan by reading your scenario aloud and running through each step as if it’s real.
4. Store your plan somewhere you’ll see it daily (notebook, phone, locker).

Reflection Checkpoint:

• What are your two goals and their dates?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• How will you check in on your progress?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

Next Steps & Regular Review

• Set weekly reminders to review and practice your plan.
• Adjust strategies if you notice new triggers or barriers.
• Celebrate each peaceful choice you make—small steps lead to lasting change.

You’ve completed the Self-Paced Conflict Resolution Guide. Remember: Cool heads truly prevail when you plan, practice, and reflect on each step.