Lesson Plan
Conflict Calmers Session 1
Students will identify and label their emotions during conflicts and understand how feelings influence behaviors.
Recognizing emotions is the first step in preventing conflict escalation and building emotional regulation skills essential for positive interactions.
Audience
Middle School GAIN
Time
30 minutes
Approach
Interactive discussion and reflection
Prep
Prepare Materials
10 minutes
- Print and cut out the Conflict Emotions Warm-Up Cards.
- Review the Conflict Calmers Session 1 Slide Deck and familiarize yourself with discussion prompts.
- Make copies of the Emotion Identification Worksheet for each student.
Step 1
Warm-Up Activity
5 minutes
- Distribute the Conflict Emotions Warm-Up Cards to student pairs.
- In pairs, students pick a card showing an emotion word and share a brief story about a time they felt that emotion during a disagreement.
- Invite one or two volunteers to share their examples with the class.
Step 2
Emotion Identification Discussion
15 minutes
- Project Slide 2 from the Conflict Calmers Session 1 Slide Deck: “What Is an Emotion in Conflict?”
- Facilitate a whole-class discussion:
- Which emotions came up in your warm-up examples?
- How did these emotions influence the way you behaved or reacted?
- Introduce the idea of emotional triggers and why they matter in conflicts.
Step 3
Worksheet Activity
5 minutes
- Hand out the Emotion Identification Worksheet.
- Students write down a recent conflict they experienced and list the emotions they felt before, during, and after the incident.
- Ask students to reflect briefly on which emotion was strongest and why.
Step 4
Session Wrap-Up
5 minutes
- Summarize key takeaways: recognizing and labeling emotions is the first step toward calm conflict resolution.
- Ask: How might knowing your emotional triggers help you in future disagreements?
- Provide a preview of Session 2: learning strategies to regulate those emotions.
Slide Deck
Conflict Calmers Session 1
Welcome to Conflict Calmers!
Today we’ll learn how recognizing and labeling our emotions during disagreements helps us handle conflicts calmly and respectfully.
Welcome students and introduce yourself. Explain that today’s session focuses on understanding emotions during conflicts as the first step toward calm resolution. Briefly review the agenda: defining emotions, exploring triggers, discussing examples, and previewing Session 2.
What Is an Emotion in Conflict?
An emotion is an internal feeling—such as anger, frustration, or sadness—that arises during a disagreement. These feelings act as signals that influence our thoughts and actions.
Ask students: “What comes to mind when you hear the word ‘emotion’?” Then share this definition. Emphasize that emotions are internal signals guiding our behavior in conflicts.
Emotional Triggers
Triggers are situations or cues that instantly make you feel a strong emotion in a conflict. Examples:
• Someone talking over you
• Feeling ignored
• Being blamed unfairly
Explain that triggers are specific events or words that spark strong emotions. Offer an example (e.g., being interrupted) and invite volunteers to share other triggers they’ve noticed.
Identifying Emotions in Your Conflicts
Consider a recent disagreement:
• Which emotion(s) did you feel?
• How did those emotions influence your reaction?
• Can you identify a trigger behind those emotions?
Transition to the discussion: “Turn to your partner and think about a time you felt a strong emotion in a disagreement.” Then project these questions and facilitate sharing.
Session Recap & Next Steps
Key Takeaways:
• Recognizing and naming emotions is the first step to calm resolution.
• Identifying triggers helps you pause before reacting.
Next Session: Learn DBT skills—STOP, Mindful Breathing, and DEAR MAN—to manage emotions and navigate disagreements with confidence.
Summarize key takeaways: naming emotions helps us pause instead of reacting, and knowing triggers lets us anticipate our responses. Preview Session 2: learning DBT strategies to regulate those emotions and resolve conflicts calmly.
Warm Up
Conflict Emotions Warm-Up Cards
Print, cut apart, and distribute one card to each pair of students. Each card shows an emotion often felt during a disagreement. In pairs, read your card aloud and share a brief story about a time you felt that emotion during a conflict.
Cards (emotion words):
- Angry
- Frustrated
- Embarrassed
- Disappointed
- Jealous
Discussion
Emotion Identification Worksheet
Use this worksheet to reflect on a recent conflict and understand your emotions at each stage.
1. Describe the Conflict
Write a brief description of a recent disagreement you experienced.
2. Emotions Felt
A. Before the conflict: What emotions did you notice before the disagreement began?
B. During the conflict: Which emotions surfaced while the disagreement was happening?
C. After the conflict: How did you feel once the disagreement ended?
3. Analyze Your Strongest Emotion
Which emotion was the strongest for you? Why do you think it stood out?
4. Identify Your Trigger
What specific event, word, or action triggered your strongest emotion in this conflict?
5. Reflection and Next Steps
How could recognizing this emotion and its trigger help you respond more calmly in future conflicts?
Keep this worksheet handy—you’ll use it in Session 2 to practice DBT strategies for regulating emotions and resolving conflicts calmly.
Lesson Plan
Conflict Calmers Session 2
Students will learn and practice DBT skills—STOP, mindful breathing, and DEAR MAN—for regulating emotions and resolving conflicts effectively.
These DBT skills provide tools to pause, reflect, and communicate assertively, helping students manage strong emotions and handle disagreements with confidence.
Audience
Middle School GAIN
Time
30 minutes
Approach
Skill demonstration and role-play
Prep
Prepare Materials
10 minutes
- Print and cut out the DBT Skills Warm-Up Cards.
- Print and cut out the Conflict Resolution Scenarios Cards.
- Review the Conflict Calmers Session 2 Slide Deck and familiarize yourself with skill explanations.
- Make copies of the DBT Skills Reference Sheet for each student.
Step 1
Warm-Up Activity
5 minutes
- Distribute the DBT Skills Warm-Up Cards to student pairs.
- Students read the skill on their card and share what they think it means.
- Invite a few pairs to explain how they might use their skill in a real disagreement.
Step 2
DBT Skills Introduction
10 minutes
- Project Slide 2 from the Conflict Calmers Session 2 Slide Deck: “DBT Skill: STOP.”
- Introduce each skill with slides and examples:
- STOP (Stop, Take a step back, Observe, Proceed mindfully)
- Mindful Breathing (focus on slow, deep breaths to calm your body)
- DEAR MAN (Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, stay Mindful, Appear confident, Negotiate)
- Check for understanding by asking quick clarifying questions.
Step 3
Role-Play Practice
10 minutes
- Hand out the Conflict Resolution Scenarios Cards.
- In pairs, students select a scenario and use the DBT Skills Reference Sheet to choose which skill to apply.
- Students role-play the scenario twice, switching roles and practicing the skill each time.
- Encourage students to notice how pausing and using the skill changes the interaction.
Step 4
Session Wrap-Up Discussion
5 minutes
- Facilitate a whole-class reflection:
- Which DBT skill felt most helpful and why?
- How could you use these skills in real-life conflicts at school?
- Invite volunteers to share one commitment: a skill they will practice before the next session.
Slide Deck
Conflict Calmers Session 2
Welcome back to Conflict Calmers!
Today we'll learn DBT skills—STOP, Mindful Breathing, and DEAR MAN—to help you manage your emotions and handle disagreements effectively.
Welcome students back and briefly recap Session 1: recognizing emotions and triggers. Explain that today’s focus is learning DBT skills to help manage emotions and resolve conflicts calmly.
DBT Skill: STOP
S: Stop – pause before you act or speak
T: Take a step back – create mental or physical space
O: Observe – notice your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings
P: Proceed mindfully – choose the best response, not the first impulse
Introduce the STOP skill and unpack each step with examples. Encourage students to think of a time they could use STOP.
DBT Skill: Mindful Breathing
• Sit or stand comfortably with good posture
• Inhale slowly through your nose for 4 counts
• Hold the breath for 2 counts
• Exhale gently through your mouth for 6 counts
• Repeat 3–5 times to calm your mind and body
Guide the class through a short Mindful Breathing exercise. Model the counts and encourage slow, steady breaths.
DBT Skill: DEAR MAN
D: Describe – state the facts clearly
E: Express – share how you feel
A: Assert – ask for what you need
R: Reinforce – explain positive outcomes
M: Mindful – stay focused on your goal
A: Appear confident – use eye contact and steady tone
N: Negotiate – be willing to compromise
Explain the DEAR MAN assertiveness technique using a simple example. Stress the importance of clear communication and confidence.
Role-Play Practice Instructions
- In pairs, select a conflict scenario card
- Choose one DBT skill (STOP, Mindful Breathing, or DEAR MAN)
- Use the reference sheet to guide your approach
- Role-play the scenario twice, switching roles
- Notice how using the skill changes the interaction
Outline the role-play steps and remind students to use their DBT Skills Reference Sheet. Encourage pairs to switch roles and reflect on the difference the skill makes.
Session Wrap-Up & Reflection
• Which DBT skill felt most helpful and why?
• How could you use this skill in a real conflict at school?
• Share one commitment: a skill you will practice this week
Lead a brief reflection discussion. Ask students to share which skill felt most helpful and their commitment to practice one skill before the next session.
Warm Up
DBT Skills Warm-Up Cards
Print, cut apart, and distribute one card to each pair of students. Each card shows the name of a DBT skill to learn today. In pairs, read your card aloud and discuss:
- What do you think this skill means?
- When might you use it during a disagreement?
After 3 minutes, invite a few pairs to share their ideas with the whole class.
Cards (DBT Skills): - STOP
- Mindful Breathing
- DEAR MAN
Lesson Plan
Conflict Compass Plan
Students will identify emotions and triggers in conflicts (Session 1) and learn DBT skills—STOP, Mindful Breathing, and DEAR MAN—to regulate emotions and resolve disagreements effectively (Session 2).
By recognizing feelings and practicing proven DBT strategies, students gain self-regulation and communication tools to navigate peer conflicts respectfully and confidently.
Audience
Middle School GAIN
Time
2 sessions, 30 minutes each
Approach
Interactive discussions, reflection, and role-play practice
Prep
Prepare Materials
20 minutes
- Print and cut out the Conflict Emotions Warm-Up Cards and DBT Skills Warm-Up Cards.
- Print copies of the Emotion Identification Worksheet and the DBT Skills Reference Sheet for each student.
- Print and cut out the Conflict Resolution Scenarios Cards.
- Review the Conflict Calmers Session 1 Slide Deck and Conflict Calmers Session 2 Slide Deck, noting key discussion prompts and examples.
Step 1
Session 1 – Identifying Emotions
30 minutes
- Warm-Up Activity (5 minutes)
- Distribute the Conflict Emotions Warm-Up Cards to pairs.
- Each pair shares a brief story about their card’s emotion during a disagreement.
- Invite volunteers to share examples with the class.
- Emotion Identification Discussion (15 minutes)
- Project slide 2 from the Conflict Calmers Session 1 Slide Deck: “What Is an Emotion in Conflict?”
- Discuss: Which emotions came up? How did they influence behaviors? What triggers did you notice?
- Worksheet Reflection (5 minutes)
- Hand out the Emotion Identification Worksheet.
- Students record a recent conflict and list emotions before, during, and after.
- Wrap-Up (5 minutes)
- Summarize how recognizing emotions and triggers aids calm responses.
- Preview Session 2: learning DBT skills for managing those emotions.
Step 2
Session 2 – Practicing DBT Skills
30 minutes
- Warm-Up Activity (5 minutes)
- Distribute the DBT Skills Warm-Up Cards to pairs.
- Pairs discuss the skill name and potential use in disagreements.
- Invite pairs to share their ideas with the group.
- DBT Skill Introduction (10 minutes)
- Project slides 2–4 from the Conflict Calmers Session 2 Slide Deck.
- Introduce STOP, Mindful Breathing, and DEAR MAN with examples.
- Role-Play Practice (10 minutes)
- Hand out the Conflict Resolution Scenarios Cards.
- In pairs, select a scenario and use the DBT Skills Reference Sheet to apply one skill.
- Role-play twice, switching roles, observing how skills change the interaction.
- Wrap-Up Discussion (5 minutes)
- Facilitate reflection: Which skill felt most helpful and why? How will you use it in real conflicts?
- Ask for one commitment: skill to practice before next meeting.
Activity
DBT Skills Reference Sheet
Use this sheet to guide your use of each DBT skill during conflict resolution.
1. STOP
• S – Stop: Pause before reacting.
• T – Take a step back: Create physical or mental space.
• O – Observe: Notice your thoughts, feelings, and what’s happening around you.
• P – Proceed mindfully: Choose the best response, not the first impulse.
2. Mindful Breathing
• Posture: Sit or stand comfortably with a straight spine.
• Inhale: Breathe in slowly through your nose for a count of 4.
• Hold: Keep the breath for a count of 2.
• Exhale: Breathe out gently through your mouth for a count of 6.
• Repeat: Do 3–5 cycles to calm your mind and body.
3. DEAR MAN (Assertive Communication)
• D – Describe: State the facts without judgment.
• E – Express: Share how you feel using “I” statements.
• A – Assert: Clearly ask for what you need or set a boundary.
• R – Reinforce: Explain positive outcomes of meeting your request.
• M – Mindful: Stay focused on your goal; ignore distractions.
• A – Appear confident: Use steady tone, eye contact, and open posture.
• N – Negotiate: Be willing to give and take; offer alternatives.
Keep this sheet handy during role-plays and real-life conflicts to guide you toward calm, respectful resolutions. You’ve got this!
Game
Conflict Resolution Scenarios Cards
Print and cut apart these scenario cards. In pairs, select one card and use the DBT Skills Reference Sheet to guide your role-play. Practice twice, switching roles each time.
Cards (scenario descriptions):
-
Last Slice: You and a classmate both reach for the last slice of pizza in the cafeteria. Neither of you wants to back down.
-
Group Project Drift: You’re in a team for a science project. One member hasn’t done their part, and the deadline is tomorrow.
-
Library Loudness: A friend is playing music out loud while you’re trying to study. They say it’s not a big deal.
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4. Interrupted Conversation: Your friend keeps interrupting you every time you try to share your opinion in class. -
Blame Game: During gym class, a teammate blames you for the team losing a game, even though it wasn’t your fault.
-
Rumor Mill: Someone in your class has started spreading a false rumor about you, and it’s making you upset.
Use STOP, Mindful Breathing, or DEAR MAN to guide your approach. Notice how choosing a skill changes the outcome and helps you stay calm.