Conflict Catcher: Stay Calm Script

Warm-Up: What Makes Your Pot Boil? (5 minutes)

"Good morning/afternoon everyone! Let's start with a quick thought experiment. Imagine you're in the middle of talking to someone – maybe a friend, a sibling, or even a parent. And suddenly, something they say or do just makes your emotional pot start to boil. You feel that anger rising, or maybe you get really frustrated. What are some of those things that make you feel that way? What are your 'triggers' in a conversation?"

Pause for student responses. Encourage a few shares, validating their feelings.

"Great examples! It sounds like we all have things that can really get under our skin. Being interrupted, feeling like no one is listening, someone being unfair – these are all common feelings. Today, we're going to learn how to be a 'Conflict Catcher' – how to stay calm and manage those feelings, even when your pot wants to boil over. This is a skill that will help you in all your relationships!"

Introduction to Conflict & Calm (5 minutes)

"Let's open our Conflict Catcher: Stay Calm Slide Deck to our first slide. As you can see, our goal today is to understand what triggers us and learn some strategies to stay calm. So, what exactly is conflict? Look at the slide: a disagreement or argument. It happens when people have different ideas, needs, or wants. It's a completely normal part of life! We can't avoid all conflicts, but we can choose how we react to them."

"Think about it: when you get really upset during a disagreement, what usually happens? Do things get better or worse?"

Allow for a few student responses.

"Exactly! Often, things can escalate. When we stay calm, as our slide shows, we can: think clearly, communicate effectively without yelling or saying hurtful things, find solutions together, and ultimately, build stronger relationships. Nobody wants to say something they regret just because they lost their cool, right?"

Identifying Triggers & Calming Strategies (10 minutes)

"Now, let's dive deeper into those 'triggers' we talked about. Open up your Conflict Triggers & Calming Strategies Worksheet. The first section asks you to think about what makes your emotional pot boil. Be honest with yourselves. Is it being ignored? Being blamed? Someone taking your things? Write down a few of your personal triggers.


"

Give students a couple of minutes to write. Then, bring them back.

"Alright, now that we've identified some triggers, let's build our 'Calming Toolkit.' What are some things you can do when you start to feel that anger or frustration? Think about physical things, mental things, anything that helps you chill out."

Facilitate a class brainstorm. Guide them towards suggestions like deep breaths, counting, stepping away, thinking before speaking, active listening. As they suggest, add them to the slide (or a whiteboard).

"Excellent ideas! Now, on your worksheet, in the second section, I want you to choose 2 or 3 of these calming strategies – or any others you know work for you – that you are willing to try. Write them down. These are your personal tools!"

Practice: Role-Play Scenarios (5 minutes)

"Okay, it's time to put these strategies into practice! I'm going to divide you into small groups of 2-3. Each group will receive a few Role-Play Scenario Cards. Your task is to act out the scenario, but with a twist: you must try to use one or more of the calming strategies we just discussed. How can you respond thoughtfully, even when you're triggered? Focus on de-escalating the situation."

Divide students into groups, distribute cards, and circulate to assist and observe.

Cool Down: One Strategy To Go (5 minutes)

"Bring it back together everyone. Great job practicing those skills! It's not easy, but it's so important.

Now, for our cool-down, I'm handing out the Stay Calm Cool Down exit ticket. On this ticket, I want you to write down one calming strategy from our toolkit today that you commit to trying the very next time you feel upset or frustrated during a conflict. Think about which one felt most achievable for you.


"

Collect tickets.

"Remember, staying calm in conflict is a superpower. It takes practice, just like any other skill. But by recognizing your triggers and using your calming toolkit, you are taking huge steps towards resolving conflicts peacefully and building better relationships. You've got this!"

Conflict Triggers & Calming Strategies Worksheet

Part 1: My Conflict Triggers

Think about times when you've been in a disagreement or felt frustrated with someone. What usually sets you off? What makes your emotional "pot boil"? List at least three of your personal conflict triggers below.

1. ______________________________________________________
   
   
   
2. ______________________________________________________
   
   
   
3. ______________________________________________________
   
   
   
4. ______________________________________________________ (Optional)
   
   
   

Part 2: My Calming Toolkit

Now, think about what you can do when you start to feel triggered. What strategies can help you stay calm and think clearly? List at least three calming strategies you will try to use.

1. ______________________________________________________
   
   
   
2. ______________________________________________________
   
   
   
3. ______________________________________________________
   
   
   
4. ______________________________________________________ (Optional)
   
   
   

Part 3: Why Choose Calm?

Briefly explain why you think it's important to try and stay calm during a conflict instead of letting your emotions take over.

Role-Play Scenario Cards

Instructions: In your small groups, pick a scenario. Act it out, focusing on using at least one calming strategy to manage your emotions and respond thoughtfully. Discuss how your chosen strategy helped the situation.

Scenario 1: The Group Project Mix-Up

You and a classmate are working on a group project. You spent a lot of time on your part, but your classmate tells you they "fixed" it without asking you, and now it looks completely different from what you intended. You feel angry and undervalued.

Your Goal: Express your feelings calmly and try to understand their perspective.

Scenario 2: The Blamed Incident

Something went missing in class, and your teacher, based on a misunderstanding, publicly accuses you of having it, even though you didn't. You feel embarrassed and furious.

Your Goal: Stay calm while defending yourself and explaining the situation.

Scenario 3: The Annoying Sibling/Friend

Your younger sibling (or a close friend) keeps interrupting you while you're trying to explain something important to another person. They're making silly noises and clearly not listening. You feel your patience wearing thin.

Your Goal: Politely and calmly ask them to stop or give you space without yelling.

Scenario 4: The Unfair Game

You and your friends are playing a game, and one friend suddenly changes the rules to benefit themselves, making it impossible for you to win. You feel cheated and frustrated.

Your Goal: Address the unfairness calmly and suggest a fair resolution.

Stay Calm Cool Down: One Strategy To Go

Name: ____________________________


Reflect on today's lesson about identifying triggers and using calming strategies.


In the space below, write down one calming strategy that you commit to trying the very next time you feel upset or frustrated during a conflict.


Think about why you chose this strategy and how you plan to use it.