De-Escalation Script

Warm-Up: What Fuels the Fire? (5 minutes)

(Slide 1: Chill Out! De-Escalation Strategies)

"Good morning/afternoon, everyone! Today, we're going to talk about something super important for navigating tough situations and keeping things calm. Look at the title slide: 'Chill Out! De-Escalation Strategies.' What does that make you think of?"

"Has anyone ever been in a situation where a small disagreement or annoyance suddenly got much bigger and more intense? Maybe with a friend, a sibling, or even a teammate? What happened? What made it worse?"

"Think about it – sometimes, a little spark can turn into a huge flame if we don't know how to handle it. Today, we're going to learn how to 'chill out' those heated moments."

(Slide 2: What's the Heat?)

"Let's define a couple of key terms. When a situation gets more intense, louder, or out of control, we call that escalation. Think of a fire escalating – it gets bigger and hotter. What we want to learn is de-escalation, which is the process of calming down a tense situation to prevent conflict or harm. It's like turning down the heat on that fire."

Understanding De-Escalation (10 minutes)

(Slide 3: Reading the Room (and Yourself))

"Before you can help calm a situation down, you need to recognize when things are starting to heat up. It's like being a detective! What are some 'warning signs' that someone might be getting upset or angry?"

"Excellent ideas! We can look for changes in someone's voice – maybe it gets louder, faster, or shaky. Their body language might change too – tense muscles, clenched fists, pacing, or even turning away. And of course, their words might become blaming, yelling, or even threatening. It's also important to notice how you feel. Is your heart racing? Do you feel frustrated? Recognizing these signs in yourself and others is the first big step."

(Slide 4: Strategy 1: Listen Up!)

"The first strategy is all about listening. And I mean really listening. We call this Active Listening. It means you stop talking and let the other person express themselves without interruption. You pay attention – maybe make eye contact if it feels comfortable, nod to show you're engaged. And you can reflect what you hear back to them. For example, 'I hear you're really frustrated about the group project,' or 'It sounds like this is really important to you.' The key is not to interrupt or judge."

"Why do you think active listening is so important when someone is upset?"

(Slide 5: Strategy 2: Keep Your Cool)

"Our next strategy is about how you present yourself. Even if someone else is yelling, you can choose to use a Calm Voice and Body Language. Try to lower your voice, speak slowly and clearly. Keep your body language open – avoid crossing your arms or clenching your fists, as that can make you seem aggressive. If you feel yourself getting worked up, take a deep breath. Your calm can actually be contagious and help the other person relax a bit."

"How does it feel when someone is yelling at you compared to someone speaking calmly? Which makes you feel safer or more willing to listen?"

(Slide 6: Strategy 3: Respectful Words)

"The words we choose are incredibly powerful. When you're trying to de-escalate, you need to Choose Your Words Wisely. This means avoiding blaming. Instead of saying, 'You always make me angry,' try using 'I' statements: 'I feel frustrated when...' This focuses on your feelings and the specific situation, rather than attacking the person. Try to focus on the problem itself, not the person. And when you can, try to offer solutions. 'What can we do to make this better?' Keep your language clear and simple."

"Why do 'I' statements work better than 'you' statements?"

(Slide 7: Strategy 4: Offer Choices & Breaks)

"Finally, sometimes people just need a little space or a sense of control. You can Give Some Control by Offering Choices, or Suggest a Break. Simple choices can be very effective: 'Would you like to talk about this now, or in five minutes after you've had a drink of water?' Or simply suggesting a break: 'Let's both take a few minutes to cool down, and then we can talk about this with fresh minds.' This shows respect and can reduce the pressure in the moment. It's not giving in, it's giving space."

"When might a 'break' be a really good idea?"

Practice Time: Real-Life De-Escalation (10 minutes)

(Slide 8: Practice Time: Real-Life De-Escalation)

"Alright, detectives! Now it's time to put these strategies into action. I'm going to hand out a worksheet with a few scenarios. Your task is to read each scenario and think about how you would use the de-escalation strategies we just discussed to 'chill out' the situation. Work individually for a few minutes, then we'll discuss some of your ideas as a class."

(Distribute De-Escalation Scenarios Worksheet. Allow students 5-7 minutes to work, then bring the class back together for a brief discussion of one or two scenarios, asking for different approaches.)

Cool Down: De-Escalate and Dominate! (5 minutes)

(Slide 9: De-Escalate and Dominate!)

"Fantastic work today, everyone! Let's quickly review the main tools in our de-escalation toolkit. What are the four key things we talked about today to help 'chill out' a tense situation?"

"That's right! Active listening, keeping your cool with a calm voice and body language, choosing respectful words, and offering choices or breaks. Remember, you have the power to turn down the heat and help make situations better, not worse. These skills aren't just for big arguments; they're useful in everyday life, helping you build better relationships and feel more in control."

"Take a moment to write down one thing you learned today that you think you can use outside of this classroom."

De-Escalation Scenarios Worksheet

Name: ____________________________

Directions: Read each scenario below. Then, using the de-escalation strategies we discussed (Active Listening, Calm Voice/Body Language, Respectful Words, Offer Choices/Breaks), describe how you would respond to help "chill out" the situation. Be specific!

Scenario 1: The Group Project Glitch

You and a classmate, Alex, are working on a group project due tomorrow. You realize Alex hasn't done their part, and when you gently bring it up, Alex immediately gets defensive and starts raising their voice, saying, "It's not my fault! You didn't give me clear instructions! You always blame me!"

1. Identify the warning signs of escalation:
   
   
   
   

2. How would you use Active Listening? What would you say?
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

3. What would your voice and body language be like?
   
   
   
   

4. How would you choose your words respectfully, using an "I" statement?
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

5. Would you offer a choice or a break? If so, what?
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

Scenario 2: The Hallway Bump

You're walking down a crowded hallway, and someone accidentally bumps into you, causing your books to fall. The other person immediately turns around, glares, and shouts, "Watch where you're going! What's your problem?!"

1. Identify the warning signs of escalation:
   
   
   
   

2. How would you use a Calm Voice and Body Language in this moment?
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

3. What respectful words could you use to de-escalate, even if you're upset?
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

4. How could you offer a quick solution or move on from the situation calmly?
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

Scenario 3: Lunchroom Line Up

You're waiting in the lunch line, and someone cuts in front of you. When you point it out, they roll their eyes and say loudly, "So what? Just wait your turn, nobody cares!"

1. What emotions might you be feeling, and how would you manage them to keep your cool?
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

2. Using respectful words, how would you address the situation without escalating it?
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

3. What might be a good way to use Active Listening or offer a choice in this scenario?