Emotional Regulation Worksheet

Use this worksheet to reflect on your personal stress triggers and develop a clear plan for regulating your emotional response.

1. Identify Your Stress Triggers

List situations, events, or thoughts that typically increase your stress:

2. Recognize Early Warning Signs

Describe the physical sensations, thoughts, and behaviors that signal when your stress is rising:

3. Stress Rating Scale

Rate your current stress level (1 = calm, 10 = extremely stressed).
Today’s level: ________ What would be a more manageable level? ________

4. Plan Your Regulation Techniques

a. Deep Breathing Exercise (e.g., 4-4-4 Breathing)
When and where will you practice this exercise?

b. Grounding Technique (e.g., 5-4-3-2-1 Sensory Exercise)
Describe how you will use this technique to shift your focus:

5. Action Plan

List two concrete steps you will take the next time you notice your stress rising:

Refer back to Calm in the Storm Lesson Plan and De-Escalation Strategies Handout for additional guidance and practice exercises.

High-Tension Role-Play Scenario Cards

Choose one card per round. The learner plays “Role A” and the coach plays “Role B.” After each scenario, discuss which de-escalation strategies were used and what could be improved.

Card 1: Delayed Order Disaster

Context: A customer calls upset that their online order, promised two days ago, still hasn’t arrived. They’re raising their voice and threatening to cancel future business.

Roles:

• Role A (Learner): Customer Service Representative
• Role B (Coach): Frustrated Customer

Focus on:

• Acknowledging frustration (“I understand how upsetting this is…”)
• Offering next steps calmly

Card 2: Missed Deadline Mayhem

Context: A colleague storms into your office, upset that you missed a project deadline and made them look bad in front of management.

Roles:

• Role A (Learner): Project Team Member
• Role B (Coach): Agitated Colleague

Focus on:

• Active listening (“Tell me more about what happened from your view.”)
• Empathetic statements (“I see why you’re concerned…”)

Card 3: Scope Creep Showdown

Context: A client emails you with a long list of additional requests that exceed the original project scope and demands them at no extra cost.

Roles:

• Role A (Learner): Project Lead
• Role B (Coach): Insistent Client

Focus on:

• Setting clear boundaries
• Using calm tone to discuss next steps

Card 4: Workload Tug-of-War

Context: A team member confronts you at the team meeting, accusing you of offloading your tasks onto them without notice.

Roles:

• Role A (Learner): Team Member Under Fire
• Role B (Coach): Accusatory Co-Worker

Focus on:

• Stopping escalation with a pause
• Acknowledging feelings (“I hear that you feel overwhelmed…”)

Card 5: Performance Review Pressure

Context: Your manager calls you in unexpectedly for a “chat,” raising your stress. They open with critical feedback in a harsh tone.

Roles:

• Role A (Learner): Employee Receiving Feedback
• Role B (Coach): Critical Manager

Focus on:

• Regulating personal emotions (breathing technique)
• Using STAR to formulate a calm response

Card 6: Family Fallout

Context: A family member during a virtual call brings up a sensitive topic, speaking over you and getting louder when you try to explain.

Roles:

• Role A (Learner): Family Member Trying to Respond
• Role B (Coach): Interrupting Family Member

Focus on:

• Grounding yourself before responding
• Using empathetic statements to reconnect

De-Escalation Strategies Handout

Use this handout as a quick reference to the core techniques for calming high-tension interactions.

1. Active Listening

• What it is: Fully focusing on the speaker’s words, tone, and body language.
• How to do it:
– Maintain eye contact and nod affirmatively.
– Paraphrase what you heard (e.g., “So you’re saying that…?”).
– Ask open-ended questions (“Can you tell me more about…?”).

Example:
Customer: “I’ve been on hold forever!”
You: “I hear your frustration. You’ve been waiting a long time—let’s get this resolved.”

2. Empathetic Statements

• What it is: Acknowledging the other person’s feelings without judgment.
• How to do it:
– Use “I” or “It sounds like” to validate emotions.
– Avoid blaming or minimizing (“I can see why…” rather than “You shouldn’t…”).

Example:
Colleague: “You missed the deadline and embarrassed me!”
You: “I understand you feel let down. That wasn’t my intention.”

3. Calm Tone & Pace

• What it is: Speaking slowly, softly, and steadily to lower emotional intensity.
• How to do it:
– Monitor your volume—keep it lower than the other person’s.
– Pause between sentences to give space.
– Breathe deeply before responding.

Example:
Manager: “[Harsh tone] Why didn’t you finish this on time?”
You (calmly): “I apologize for the delay. Let me explain what happened and how I’ll move forward.”

4. S-T-A-R Framework

Use this step-by-step approach when you feel pressure to react immediately.

S – Stop
Pause briefly, take a breath, and collect your thoughts.

T – Think
Consider what the person needs and your goal for the conversation.

A – Acknowledge
Express understanding of their feelings or perspective.

R – Respond
Offer a calm, constructive solution or next step.

Quick STAR Example:
• Stop: Take a two-second breath.
• Think: They need reassurance, not more conflict.
• Acknowledge: “I see you’re upset about the missed deadline.”
• Respond: “Here’s how I plan to get us back on track.”

Putting It Into Practice

1. In your own words, describe a recent high-tension interaction you experienced:
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. Which de-escalation strategy (or STAR step) will you apply first? Why?
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. When and where will you practice these techniques this week?
   
   
   
   
   
   

For more guided exercises, see:

• Emotional Regulation Worksheet
• High-Tension Role-Play Scenario Cards
• Calm in the Storm Lesson Plan

Reflection Cool-Down

Take a moment to capture your key takeaways and next steps from today’s session.

1. Which de-escalation strategy will you commit to practicing first?
   
   
   

2. Describe a real situation this week where you will apply this strategy:
   
   
   

3. Which emotional regulation technique (e.g., 4-4-4 breathing or grounding) helped you the most?
   
   
   

4. How will you remind yourself to use these skills when stress rises?
   
   
   

Feel free to revisit the Emotional Regulation Worksheet for additional support and planning.

Calm in the Storm Script

Introduction & Objectives (10 minutes)

Coach: "Hello and welcome! I’m [Your Name], and today we’re diving into Calm in the Storm: Mastering De-Escalation Strategies. Over the next 90 minutes, you’ll learn proven communication tools, practice emotional regulation, and apply everything in realistic role-plays."

Coach: "Our objectives for today are:

1. Apply verbal de-escalation strategies.
2. Regulate our emotional response under stress.
3. Demonstrate these skills in guided role-play."

Coach: "Why do you think de-escalation is important in your work or personal life?"
[Pause for learner response]

Coach (follow-up): "Great—those are exactly the reasons we focus on these skills: reducing conflict, building trust, and creating a safer environment."

Coach: "Let’s have a quick look at our agenda."
Show Slide: Session Agenda

Teach De-Escalation Strategies (20 minutes)

Coach: "Let’s explore three core techniques. I’m handing you the De-Escalation Strategies Handout."

1. Active Listening
   Coach: "This means fully focusing on the speaker. Notice tone and body language."
   Coach (example): "If someone says, ‘I’ve waited forever,’ you might say, ‘I hear your frustration. You’ve been on hold a long time—let’s fix that.’"
   Coach: "Can you think of a recent situation where active listening might’ve helped?"
   [Pause for learner response]

2. Empathetic Statements
   Coach: "Acknowledge feelings without judgment. Use ‘I’ statements or ‘It sounds like…’"
   Coach (example): "‘I understand you feel let down, and I want to make this right.’"
   Coach: "What word or phrase could you use to validate someone’s emotion?"
   [Pause]

3. Calm Tone & Pace
   Coach: "Speak softly, slowly, and pause between sentences. Breathe deeply before you respond."
   Coach (demo): Model a calm response to a harsh question.

Coach: "Finally, we use the S-T-A-R framework. I’ll write it on the whiteboard."

• S – Stop (Pause briefly)
• T – Think (Assess needs and goals)
• A – Acknowledge (Show you understand)
• R – Respond (Offer a calm solution)

Coach: "How would you use STAR if a colleague were upset about a missed deadline?"
[Pause for learner response]

Coach: "Excellent! Let’s move on to emotional regulation."

Practice Emotional Regulation Techniques (20 minutes)

Coach: "When tension peaks, our body responds before our mind. Let’s practice the 4-4-4 breathing exercise together."

1. Inhale quietly for 4 seconds.
2. Hold your breath for 4 seconds.
3. Exhale slowly for 4 seconds.

Coach (counting): "Inhale…2…3…4. Hold…2…3…4. Exhale…2…3…4."

Coach: "Now you try it three times."
[Pause for practice]

Coach: "Great. Next, please complete the Emotional Regulation Worksheet. Identify your top two triggers and early warning signs."
[Pause while learner writes]

Coach: "What triggers did you list, and how might you notice them sooner next time?"
[Pause]

Role-Play Scenarios (30 minutes)

Coach: "Time to put it into action! Please choose two cards from the High-Tension Role-Play Scenario Cards. Which one resonates most right now?"
[Pause for selection]

Coach: "You’ll play Role A; I’ll play Role B. We have 5 minutes per round. I’ll set the timer. Focus on using active listening, empathy, calm tone, and STAR."

Round 1

• Coach: "Begin now."
  [5-minute role-play]
  Coach: "Stop. Let’s debrief. Which strategies did you use effectively?"
  [Pause]
  Coach: "What felt most challenging, and why?"
  [Pause]

Round 2

• Coach: "Let’s pick another scenario and try again. Begin now."
  [5-minute role-play]
  Coach: "Great work. What would you do differently next time?"
  [Pause]

Debrief & Action Planning (10 minutes)

Coach: "As we wrap up, reflect on today. What strengths did you notice in yourself?"
[Pause]

Coach: "Where do you see room for growth?"
[Pause]

Coach: "Let’s build your action plan. Identify two real situations this week where you’ll apply these skills. Write them down and set a calendar reminder."
[Pause for planning]

Coach: "Thank you for your engagement. Remember to revisit your De-Escalation Strategies Handout and Emotional Regulation Worksheet. If you’d like more practice, let’s schedule a follow-up session."

Coach: "That concludes our Calm in the Storm session. You’re now equipped to navigate high-tension interactions with confidence. Well done!"

De-Escalation Skills Rubric

Use this rubric to assess learners’ mastery of de-escalation strategies, emotional regulation, and role-play performance.

Scoring Scale
4 = Exemplary | 3 = Proficient | 2 = Developing | 1 = Beginning

Total Possible Points: 24
Interpretation:
• 20–24 = Exemplary mastery
• 14–19 = Proficient
• 8–13 = Developing
• 6–7 = Beginning

For additional guidance, refer to:

• De-Escalation Strategies Handout
• Emotional Regulation Worksheet
• High-Tension Role-Play Scenario Cards