Warm Up: Conversation Starters

Instructions: Read each statement. If you agree, give a thumbs up. If you disagree, give a thumbs down. No talking, just show your vote!

1. It's always okay to talk about anything with your friends.
   
   
   
2. If someone tells a joke you don't like, you should laugh anyway so you don't hurt their feelings.
   
   
   
3. It's important to keep some things private, even from your best friends.
   
   
   
4. If a conversation makes you feel uncomfortable, you should just stay quiet.
   
   
   
5. Everyone has the right to decide what they are comfortable talking about.
   
   
   

Script: Navigating Peer Talk

Introduction (5 minutes)

"Good morning/afternoon everyone! Welcome to today's advisory lesson, Talkin' it Out!."

"To get us started, we're going to do a quick 'Warm-Up: Conversation Starters' activity. I'll read some statements, and I want you to give me a thumbs up if you agree, or a thumbs down if you disagree. There's no right or wrong answer here, and no need to explain your choice – just a quick gut reaction. Ready?"

(Facilitate Warm Up: Conversation Starters as per instructions. Briefly observe student responses.)

"Great job! Thanks for participating. Those statements touched on how we communicate with each other, and that's exactly what we're going to dive into today."

"Today, we're going to talk about something super important: how we talk to our friends and peers, especially about topics that can sometimes be a little tricky or sensitive. As you get older, you'll find yourselves in more and more conversations, and knowing how to navigate them respectfully and comfortably is a really valuable life skill."

"Our goal today is to understand what makes a conversation appropriate or inappropriate, especially when it comes to sexually-related topics, and to learn some ways to handle conversations that make us feel uncomfortable. Why is this important? Because we all deserve to feel safe and respected when we're talking to our friends. Learning these skills will help you build stronger, healthier friendships and create a more positive school environment for everyone."

"So, let's jump in!"

What's Appropriate? (using Slide Deck: Talkin' it Out! - Slide 2)

"Look at this slide. What do you think makes a conversation 'appropriate'? What does that word even mean?"

(Pause for student responses, guide them towards ideas like respectful, comfortable, not sharing private info, suitable for environment.)

"Exactly! An appropriate conversation is one where everyone feels respected and comfortable. It's suitable for where you are – like school, or a public place – and it doesn't involve sharing things that are too private or personal, especially about other people."

Private vs. Public Topics (using Slide Deck: Talkin' it Out! - Slide 3)

"Now, let's think about private versus public topics. What kinds of things are generally considered private?"

(Pause for student responses, guide them towards health, family, personal feelings, and emphasize sexual topics.)

"You got it. Our bodies, family matters, and sometimes our deepest feelings are generally private. And when we talk about sexual topics, those are almost always considered very private. These kinds of conversations are usually best had with trusted adults – like a parent, guardian, or counselor – not with your peers in casual settings."

"Why do you think it's important to keep these kinds of topics private among peers?"

(Allow a few responses. Guide towards respect, not making others uncomfortable, potential for rumors, personal safety.)

Your Comfort Zone (using Slide Deck: Talkin' it Out! - Slide 4)

"Everyone has a 'comfort zone' when it comes to conversations. It's that invisible boundary of what you're okay talking about and what makes you feel a little uneasy or even really uncomfortable. It's super important to remember that it is absolutely okay to feel uncomfortable with certain topics, and you have the right to set boundaries."

"Has anyone ever been in a conversation where you felt uncomfortable, but you weren't sure what to do? You don't have to share details, just a quick nod if you can relate."

(Observe student nods. Validate their feelings.)

"That's a very common feeling. The good news is, there are strategies you can use to handle those situations."

Strategies for Tricky Talk (using Slide Deck: Talkin' it Out! - Slide 5)

"Let's look at some powerful strategies you can use when a conversation takes a turn you're not comfortable with. These are your tools for 'Talkin' it Out!' effectively."

(Go through each strategy on the slide, providing examples and asking for student input on how they might use them.)

1. Redirect: "This means changing the subject. It's like gently steering a boat in a different direction. For example, if someone starts talking about something inappropriate, you could say, 'Hey, that reminds me, did you finish the math homework?' or 'Speaking of, what's happening in the school play?'"
   "Can anyone think of another way to redirect a conversation?"

2. Excuse Yourself: "If redirecting doesn't work, or you just need to get out of the conversation quickly, it's totally fine to politely excuse yourself. You don't owe anyone a long explanation. You could say, 'I need to go grab something from my locker,' or 'I told [another friend] I'd meet them.'"
   "What are some simple phrases you could use to excuse yourself?"

3. Express Discomfort: "This one takes a little courage, but it's very effective. You can simply and clearly state that you're not comfortable. For example, 'I'm not comfortable talking about that,' or 'Can we please talk about something else?' This sets a clear boundary."
   "When might it be especially important to clearly state your discomfort?"

4. Talk to a Trusted Adult: "This is crucial. If a conversation continues to make you feel uncomfortable, or if it feels like someone is pressuring you, bullying you, or making you feel unsafe, it's time to tell a trusted adult. This could be a teacher, a parent, a counselor, a coach – anyone you trust. You are never alone in these situations."
   "Who are some trusted adults in your life you could talk to?"

"Remember, using these strategies isn't being mean; it's being responsible for your own comfort and helping maintain respectful interactions with your friends. It's about taking care of yourself and also modeling good behavior for others."

Discussion Guide: What's Okay to Talk About?

Instructions: In your small groups, discuss the following questions. Be respectful of each other's opinions and comfort levels.

1. Think about conversations you have with your friends. What are some topics that are always okay to talk about? (e.g., school, hobbies, sports, movies)
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

2. What are some topics that you think are never okay to talk about with friends, especially at school or in public?
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

3. Why do you think some topics, especially those related to sex or bodies, are generally considered inappropriate for peer conversations?
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

4. Imagine a friend starts talking about something that makes you feel a little uncomfortable. What are some signs that you are uncomfortable? (e.g., shifting, avoiding eye contact, quiet)
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

5. How might it make another person feel if you pressured them to talk about something they clearly don't want to discuss?
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

6. Share one thing you learned or were reminded of today about appropriate peer conversations.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

Scenario Cards: Practice Your Peer Talk Skills

Instructions: In your groups or pairs, pick a card and role-play the situation. Practice using the strategies we discussed (redirect, excuse yourself, express discomfort, or identify when to talk to an adult).

Scenario 1

Your friend starts telling a really detailed and uncomfortable story about something sexual they saw online. You feel awkward and don't want to hear it.

How would you respond?

Scenario 2

A classmate asks you if you know about a private photo that's supposedly being passed around of another student. You know talking about it feels wrong and could hurt someone.

What do you do or say?

Scenario 3

You're with a group of friends, and one friend keeps making jokes about someone else's body in a way that makes you cringe. You like your friend, but the jokes are bothering you.

How do you handle the situation?

Scenario 4

During lunch, a friend starts talking loudly about something very personal and embarrassing that happened to them, and it's making you and others at the table uncomfortable. You know it's not a topic for a public space.

How could you gently shift the conversation?

Scenario 5

A friend is trying to pressure you into looking at or discussing something on their phone that makes you feel uneasy because it seems inappropriate.

What is your immediate response? What strategy would you use?

Scenario 6

You overhear some students talking about another student in a way that sounds like spreading rumors about their personal life, and it feels mean-spirited and intrusive.

What could you do, or who might you talk to about what you heard?

Exit Ticket: My Conversation Compass

Instructions: Please answer the following questions honestly to reflect on today's lesson.

1. Name one new idea or strategy you learned today about having appropriate conversations with friends.
   
   
   
   

2. Describe a situation where you might use one of the strategies (redirect, excuse yourself, express discomfort).
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

3. Why is it important to talk about topics like sexually appropriate peer conversation?
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

4. On a scale of 1 to 5 (1 = not confident, 5 = very confident), how confident do you feel now about handling uncomfortable peer conversations? Circle one:

   1 2 3 4 5

5. What is one question you still have, or something you'd like to learn more about regarding peer conversations?