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Stop. Think. Act.

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Hanifah Suhandaru

Tier 2
For Schools

Lesson Plan

Stop. Think. Act. Coaching Session

Parents will learn and practice the "Stop. Think. Act." strategy to help their middle schoolers develop impulse control.

Middle school is a time of significant social and emotional development. Equipping parents with tools to guide their children in managing impulses is crucial for fostering healthy decision-making and navigating peer pressure, reducing conflict, and building resilience.

Audience

Parents of Middle Schoolers

Time

60 minutes

Approach

Interactive discussion, guided practice, and reflection.

Materials

Navigating Adolescent Impulses (slide-deck), Parent-Teen Dialogue Starters for Impulse Control, Reflecting on My Child's Choices (journal), and The Developing Teen Brain and Impulse Control (reading)

Prep

Review Materials

15 minutes

  • Review the Stop. Think. Act. Coaching Session (lesson-plan) and familiarize yourself with the content.
    * Go through the Navigating Adolescent Impulses (slide-deck) to understand the flow and key points.
    * Read the Parent-Teen Dialogue Starters for Impulse Control (script) to prepare for facilitating discussion.
    * Review the Reflecting on My Child's Choices (journal) prompts.
    * Read The Developing Teen Brain and Impulse Control (reading) to be prepared for questions related to brain development.
    * Ensure projector and computer are set up for the slide deck.

Step 1

Introduction & Warm-Up: What's the Rush?

10 minutes

  • Welcome parents and introduce the session topic: impulse control in middle schoolers.
    * Share the objective: to equip them with the 'Stop. Think. Act.' strategy.
    * Ask parents: "Think about a time your middle schooler acted impulsively. What happened? How did you feel?" (Brief group share, 2-3 parents)
    * Introduce the Navigating Adolescent Impulses (slide-deck) and display Slide 1.

Step 2

Understanding Impulse Control & The Adolescent Brain

15 minutes

  • Use Navigating Adolescent Impulses (slide-deck) Slides 2-4 to explain:
    * What impulse control is.
    * Why it's challenging for middle schoolers (reference adolescent brain development, prefrontal cortex).
    * Briefly discuss key takeaways from The Developing Teen Brain and Impulse Control (reading).
    * Facilitate a short Q&A session on the biological and developmental aspects.

Step 3

Introducing 'Stop. Think. Act.'

15 minutes

  • Introduce the 'Stop. Think. Act.' strategy using Navigating Adolescent Impulses (slide-deck) Slides 5-7.
    * Break down each step:
    * Stop: Recognizing the urge, taking a pause (e.g., deep breath, counting).
    * Think: Considering consequences, feelings, and alternative actions.
    * Act: Choosing a mindful response.
    * Provide a simple scenario (e.g., getting angry at a sibling) and walk through how 'Stop. Think. Act.' could be applied.

Step 4

Role-Play & Practice with Dialogue Starters

15 minutes

  • Divide parents into pairs or small groups.
    * Distribute Parent-Teen Dialogue Starters for Impulse Control (script).
    * Instruct groups to choose one scenario and role-play how they would guide their child using the 'Stop. Think. Act.' strategy and the provided dialogue starters.
    * Circulate and offer support/feedback.
    * Bring the groups back together for brief shares on what they learned or found challenging during the role-play.

Step 5

Reflection & Next Steps

5 minutes

  • Distribute Reflecting on My Child's Choices (journal) for independent reflection at home.
    * Encourage parents to try using the 'Stop. Think. Act.' strategy with their children.
    * Conclude by reiterating the importance of patience and consistent guidance in helping adolescents develop impulse control.
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Slide Deck

Stop. Think. Act.

Guiding Your Middle Schooler Through Impulse Control

For Parents of Middle Schoolers


Today's Goal: Learn and practice the "Stop. Think. Act." strategy to empower your child's decision-making.

Welcome parents, introduce yourself, and briefly state the goal of the session: to help them understand and support their middle schoolers with impulse control using the "Stop. Think. Act." strategy.

What is Impulse Control?

It's the ability to resist an urge or temptation to do something that you might later regret.


It's about:

  • Pausing before reacting.
  • Thinking before acting.
  • Making mindful choices, not just quick ones.

Ask parents what comes to mind when they hear "impulse control." Guide them to understand it's about pausing before reacting, especially in emotionally charged situations.

Why is Impulse Control Challenging for Middle Schoolers?

Their brains are still developing!


  • The Prefrontal Cortex: This is the 'thinking' part of the brain responsible for planning, decision-making, and impulse control. It's not fully developed until the mid-20s!
  • Emotional Amygdala: Often more active, leading to stronger emotional reactions.
  • Social Pressures: Friends, fitting in, and new experiences can all trigger impulsive behaviors.

Explain that middle school is a unique time for brain development. Refer to the reading material if parents have reviewed it.

Common Impulses in Middle Schoolers

  • Blurt out answers in class without raising a hand.
  • Send a hasty text message when upset.
  • Make quick decisions influenced by friends without considering consequences.
  • React with anger or frustration to minor provocations.
  • Spend money impulsively on things they don't need.

Provide examples relevant to middle schoolers. Ask parents for examples they've witnessed.

The "Stop. Think. Act." Strategy

Step 1: STOP


  • Recognize the Urge: Teach your child to notice the feeling of wanting to react quickly.
  • Take a Physical Pause: Encourage deep breaths, counting to ten, or stepping away.
  • Why it helps: Creates a crucial moment to prevent an immediate, regretted action.

Introduce the first step, 'STOP.' Emphasize that this is about creating a deliberate pause.

The "Stop. Think. Act." Strategy

Step 2: THINK


  • Consider Consequences: "What might happen if I do X? How will I feel? How will others feel?"
  • Identify Emotions: "What am I feeling right now? Why?"
  • Brainstorm Alternatives: "What else could I do? What's a better way to handle this?"
  • Why it helps: Shifts from emotional reaction to rational problem-solving.

Move to the 'THINK' step. Guide parents on how to prompt their children to consider consequences and alternatives.

The "Stop. Think. Act." Strategy

Step 3: ACT


  • Choose a Mindful Response: Select the action that aligns with their goals and values.
  • Put the Plan into Action: Implement the chosen alternative.
  • Reflect (Afterward): "How did that choice work out? What did I learn?"
  • Why it helps: Empowers your child to take control and make responsible decisions.

Conclude with 'ACT.' Stress that this is about making a thoughtful choice based on the thinking process.

Putting it into Practice

  • Role-Play: Practice using "Stop. Think. Act." with scenarios.
  • Use Dialogue Starters: Learn how to talk about impulse control effectively.
  • Be a Role Model: Show your child how you use "Stop. Think. Act." in your own life.
  • Patience & Consistency: Developing impulse control is a process, not an overnight change.

Encourage parents to use the dialogue starters during the role-play activity and consider how to integrate this into daily conversations.

Key Takeaways

  • Middle schoolers' brains are still developing, impacting impulse control.
  • The "Stop. Think. Act." strategy provides a clear framework.
  • Your consistent guidance and modeling are essential.
  • Open communication helps your child develop crucial life skills.

Thank you for coming!

Summarize the key takeaways and encourage continued practice and open communication at home.

lenny

Script

Parent-Teen Dialogue Starters for Impulse Control

Introduction: Setting the Stage

Teacher: "Welcome back, everyone! Now that we've explored the 'Stop. Think. Act.' strategy, let's put it into practice. We've prepared some dialogue starters to help you initiate conversations with your middle schooler about impulse control. Remember, the goal isn't to lecture, but to guide them through their own thinking process."

Teacher: "In your groups, choose one of the following scenarios. We'll give you about 10 minutes to role-play how you might use these dialogue starters to help your child apply the 'Stop. Think. Act.' strategy. Don't worry about being perfect; just try to engage with the process."

Scenario 1: The Hasty Text Message

Your child just sent an angry text message to a friend without thinking, and now they regret it.

Parent (Initiating): "Hey, I noticed you seemed pretty upset after you sent that text. Can we talk about it for a moment? No judgment, just curious what was going on."


Parent (Guiding 'Stop'): "It sounds like you were feeling a lot in that moment. What was the first thing you wanted to do when you felt that way? Did you notice any physical signs, like your heart racing or your face getting hot?"


Parent (Guiding 'Think'): "If you could hit a pause button before sending that text, what thoughts might have popped into your head? What are some different ways you could have responded when you were feeling so strongly? What do you think the impact of that text might be on your friend?"


Parent (Guiding 'Act'): "Knowing what you know now, what would you do differently next time you feel that urge to send a quick, angry message? How can you make it right with your friend, if that's what you want to do?"


Scenario 2: Impulse Purchase Regret

Your child spent their allowance on a video game item they really wanted, but now they realize they don't have enough money for something they truly needed.

Parent (Initiating): "I saw you bought that new game item. How are you feeling about that purchase now, especially with [other thing they needed/wanted] coming up?"


Parent (Guiding 'Stop'): "Before you bought it, did you have a moment where you thought about it, or was it more of a 'I just really want this now' feeling?"


Parent (Guiding 'Think'): "When you make spending decisions, what kinds of things do you usually consider? What are some of the pros and cons of buying something immediately versus waiting? What did you hope to gain from buying it, and did it meet that expectation?"


Parent (Guiding 'Act'): "Looking ahead, how could you approach similar spending decisions differently? What steps could you take to make sure you have money for things you truly need or save for bigger goals?"


Scenario 3: Reacting to Peer Pressure

Your child made an impulsive decision to follow friends into a situation they knew was not ideal, feeling pressure to fit in.

Parent (Initiating): "I heard about what happened with [situation]. That sounds like a tough spot to be in. What was going through your mind at the time?"


Parent (Guiding 'Stop'): "It sounds like you felt a strong pull to go along with your friends. Did you have any gut feeling, even a small one, that made you hesitate?"


Parent (Guiding 'Think'): "If you had been able to pause and think for a minute, what questions would you have asked yourself? What were the potential upsides of going with them, and what were the potential downsides? What other choices did you have in that moment, even if they felt difficult?"


Parent (Guiding 'Act'): "In the future, if you find yourself in a similar situation, what would your 'Act' look like? What specific phrases could you use, or what actions could you take, to make a choice that feels right for you?"


Closing: Group Share and Reinforcement

Teacher: "Thank you for those fantastic role-plays! What did you notice about using these dialogue starters? Was anything challenging? What felt helpful?" (Facilitate a brief group discussion, allowing parents to share insights and ask questions.)

Teacher: "Remember, these are just starting points. The key is to be curious, empathetic, and consistent. Your goal is to help your child develop their own internal 'Stop. Think. Act.' system. Great work today!"

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Journal

Reflecting on My Child's Choices: A Parent Journal

This journal is designed to help you reflect on your child's impulse control and how you can support them using the "Stop. Think. Act." strategy. Use this as a personal tool for growth and understanding.

Section 1: Observing Impulses

  1. Describe a recent situation where your middle schooler acted impulsively. What happened? What was their initial reaction?










  2. What emotions do you think your child was experiencing in that moment? What emotions did you experience?





  3. Before learning the "Stop. Think. Act." strategy, how did you typically respond to your child's impulsive actions?





Section 2: Applying "Stop. Think. Act."

  1. Thinking about the situation you described above, how could you have guided your child to STOP before acting? What specific words or actions might you have used?










  2. What questions could you ask to help your child THINK about the consequences of their actions and consider alternatives?










  3. How can you empower your child to confidently ACT on a more mindful choice? What kind of support would they need from you?





Section 3: Personal Reflection & Goals

  1. What is one challenge you anticipate when trying to implement the "Stop. Think. Act." strategy with your child? How might you overcome it?










  2. What is one specific goal you have for yourself in supporting your child's impulse control over the next week?





  3. In what ways can you model the "Stop. Think. Act." strategy in your own life for your child to observe?










Section 4: Successes and Learning (To be completed later)

  1. Describe a time when you successfully helped your child use the "Stop. Think. Act." strategy. What was the outcome?










  2. What did you learn from that experience, both about your child and about your approach?





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Reading

The Developing Teen Brain and Impulse Control

The Adolescent Brain: Under Construction

Adolescence is a period of incredible growth and change, not just emotionally and socially, but also within the brain itself. While teenagers may seem like mini-adults, their brains are still very much

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