Teacher Script: Squad Squabbles: Resolve It!

Warm-Up: What's the Beef? (5 minutes)

"Good morning/afternoon, everyone! Today we're diving into a super important topic: how to handle disagreements with your friends. We've all been there, right? Sometimes friendships hit a bumpy road."

"To get us thinking, I want you to take a moment and reflect. When you hear the word 'conflict' in the context of peer relationships, what immediately comes to mind? Is conflict always a bad thing? Can it ever be helpful?"

"You can just think about it, jot it down on a piece of scratch paper, or if you feel comfortable, share a quick thought with a partner or the class."

Listen to student responses. Affirm that conflict is common. Transition to the slide deck.

"Great thoughts, everyone. It sounds like many of you recognize that conflict is a part of life. Let's explore this further."

Introduction to Conflict Resolution (10 minutes)

[Display Slide 3: Conflict: It's Normal!]

"As you mentioned, disagreements are a totally natural part of being human and having relationships. It's not about avoiding conflict entirely, because that's impossible. Instead, it's about learning how to handle it effectively. When we handle conflict well, it can actually be an opportunity for growth, a deeper understanding of each other, and can even lead to stronger friendships."

[Display Slide 4: Constructive vs. Destructive Conflict]

"But not all conflict is created equal. We can approach conflict in two main ways: constructively or destructively."

"Constructive conflict is when we focus on solving the problem at hand, we communicate respectfully, and it usually leads to a positive outcome. Think about two friends calmly talking through a misunderstanding and finding a way to move forward."

"Destructive conflict, on the other hand, is when we focus on blaming others, trying to 'win' an argument, or using hurtful communication like yelling, name-calling, or ignoring someone. This type of conflict often damages relationships and leaves people feeling worse."

"Can anyone think of an example of destructive conflict they've seen or experienced (without naming names, of course)? What made it destructive?"

Guide the discussion to highlight behaviors like yelling, shutting down, spreading rumors, etc.

"Exactly. Destructive conflict tears down. Our goal today is to learn how to engage in constructive conflict."

[Display Slide 5: Skill #1: Active Listening]

"One of the most crucial skills for constructive conflict is Active Listening. This means truly hearing and understanding what the other person is saying, not just waiting for your turn to speak."

"There are a few ways to show you're actively listening:

• Pay Attention: Make eye contact, put away distractions like phones.
• Show You're Listening: Nod, use encouraging words like 'I see' or 'Uh-huh.'
• Don't Interrupt: Let them finish their thoughts completely.
• Reflect/Paraphrase: After they've spoken, try to summarize what you heard in your own words. You could say, 'So, if I understand correctly, you're saying...' This shows you're engaged and helps clear up any misunderstandings."

[Display Slide 6: Skill #2: Using 'I-Messages']

"Another powerful tool is using 'I-Messages.' This is about communicating your feelings and needs without blaming the other person. When we start sentences with 'You always...' or 'You never...', it immediately puts the other person on the defensive."

"Instead, try this formula: 'I feel (emotion) when (situation) because (impact or need).'

"Let's look at an example. Instead of saying, 'YOU always ignore me when we're in a group!', which sounds like an accusation, you could say: 'I feel hurt when my ideas are overlooked in the group because it makes me feel unimportant.' See how that shifts the focus from blame to your own feelings and needs?"

"Can someone try to turn a 'You-message' into an 'I-message'? Maybe 'You never share your snacks!'"

Guide students to rephrase. Example: 'I feel a little left out when snacks are shared, because I really like trying new things and sometimes feel excluded.'

[Display Slide 7: The PAUSE Method for Resolution]

"To bring these skills together, we're going to learn a simple, memorable method for conflict resolution called PAUSE."

"PAUSE is a step-by-step guide to help you navigate disagreements calmly and effectively. Each letter stands for a crucial step."

[Display Slide 8: PAUSE: Step-by-Step]

"Let's break down each step:

• P - Prepare: Before you even talk, take a breath. Calm down. Decide what you truly want to achieve from this conversation. Do you want to fix the problem? Understand their side? Get an apology? Knowing your goal helps."
• A - Affirm: This is about showing the other person that you value them and your relationship, even if you're upset. You might start by saying, 'I care about our friendship, and I want to sort this out.' Acknowledge their feelings if you know them: 'I can see you're upset too.'"
• U - Understand: This is where active listening comes in. Ask clarifying questions like, 'Can you tell me more about why that bothered you?' Listen without interrupting. Try to genuinely see their perspective."
• S - Solve: Once you both feel heard, it's time to brainstorm solutions together. This might involve compromising, finding common ground, or thinking creatively. What can you both do differently moving forward?"
• E - End: Agree on a solution, even if it's just 'let's try to be more mindful.' Offer forgiveness, if appropriate, and let go of the grudge. The goal is to move forward positively."

Practice Makes Perfect: Scenarios (20 minutes)

[Display Slide 9: Time to Practice: Scenarios!]

"Alright, now it's your turn to put these skills into practice! I'm going to divide you into small groups of 3-4."

"Each group will receive a Conflict Resolution Scenarios Activity sheet. Your task is to choose one scenario, discuss how you would use the 'I-Message' framework and the 'PAUSE' method to resolve it, and then, if you're comfortable, role-play the scenario within your group."

"I'll be circulating around the room to offer guidance and answer any questions. Remember to be supportive and constructive in your groups. You have about 15 minutes for this activity. Begin!"

Circulate, observe, and assist groups. Prompt them to remember 'I-Messages' and the PAUSE steps. Encourage respectful dialogue.

"You have about 5 more minutes to wrap up your discussions and role-plays."

Share & Reflect (5 minutes)

[Display Slide 10: Share & Reflect]

"Alright, everyone, bring it back together. Can I have a few groups volunteer to briefly share the scenario they chose and how they approached it using the 'I-Message' and 'PAUSE' methods? What did you learn from this practice?"

Facilitate a brief class discussion. Ask students:

• "What was easy about applying these strategies? What was challenging?"
• "How do you think using these skills could change the outcome of a real-life conflict you might face?"
• "What's one thing you'll try to remember next time you have a disagreement with a friend?"

Cool Down: Exit Ticket (5 minutes)

[Display Slide 11: Cool Down: Exit Ticket]

"Excellent work today, everyone. To wrap things up, I have a quick Cool Down: Exit Ticket for each of you. This will help me understand what you've learned and if there are any lingering questions."

"Please complete this independently before you leave class today. Thank you all for your thoughtful participation!"

Collect exit tickets as students leave.

Conflict Resolution Scenarios: Practice Makes Perfect!

Instructions:

Work with your group to choose one of the scenarios below. Read it carefully and then discuss how you would use the following strategies to resolve the conflict:

1. Active Listening: How would you ensure everyone feels heard?
2. "I-Messages": How would each person express their feelings and needs without blaming?
3. The PAUSE Method: Walk through each step (Prepare, Affirm, Understand, Solve, End) to find a resolution.

After discussing, role-play the scenario with your group, applying the conflict resolution steps you discussed. Be ready to share your experience with the class!

Scenario 1: The Group Project Gone Wrong

You are working on a big group project for history class with two other friends, Alex and Sam. You feel like you've been doing most of the work, and Alex is always distracted by their phone, while Sam often misses meetings. The deadline is approaching, and you're feeling stressed and resentful.

Scenario 2: The Misunderstanding on Social Media

Your friend, Jordan, posted a meme in a group chat that you found really hurtful because it seemed to be making fun of something you recently shared about yourself. Other friends in the chat liked the post, and you're not sure if Jordan meant to hurt you, but you feel embarrassed and angry.

Reflection Questions for Scenario 2:

• What specific emotions is the person feeling in this scenario? How might these emotions impact how they approach Jordan?
• How could the person use an "I-Message" to express their feelings to Jordan without accusing them?
• What might be important to "Prepare" before talking to Jordan (e.g., cooling down, deciding what they want to achieve)?
• How would active listening be important when Jordan responds? What specific things would you listen for?
• If Jordan apologizes, how could the person "End" the conversation constructively?

Scenario 3: The Broken Promise

Your best friend, Jamie, promised to go to the school dance with you months ago. Now, a week before the dance, Jamie tells you they've decided to go with another group of friends without even talking to you about it first. You feel betrayed and disappointed.

Scenario 4: The Lunch Table Exclusion

You usually sit with your friends at a specific table during lunch. Lately, two of your friends, Maya and Chloe, have been sitting together at a different table and seem to be whispering and laughing, not inviting you over. You feel left out and confused.

Cool Down: Conflict Resolution Exit Ticket

Name: _____________________________

Date: _____________________________

1. What is one new thing you learned today about resolving conflicts with friends?

   
   
   
   
   
   
   

2. Write down one "I-Message" you could use in a future disagreement. (Remember: "I feel... when... because...")

   
   
   
   
   
   
   

3. Which step of the PAUSE method do you think will be most helpful for you personally, and why?

   
   
   
   
   
   
   

4. On a scale of 1 to 5 (1 = not confident at all, 5 = very confident), how confident do you feel now about approaching a conflict constructively?

   1        2        3        4        5

   Circle one.