Communication Strategies Worksheet

1. Understanding I-Messages

An I-message helps you express your feelings and needs without blaming others. The basic structure is:

“I feel (feeling word) when (situation) because (reason). I would like (request).”

A. Identify the feeling, situation, reason, and request in this example:

“I feel frustrated when my questions are ignored because I want to understand clearly. I would like you to repeat important points for me.”

Feeling: ________________________________



Situation: ______________________________



Reason: ________________________________



Request: _______________________________

B. Rewrite each of these statements into an I-message.

1. “You never listen to me. Fix it.”
   
   I-message: _____________________________
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. “Stop leaving your stuff all over the kitchen.”
   
   I-message: _____________________________
   
   
   
   
   
   

2. Crafting Clear Requests

Clear requests tell the other person exactly what you need and by when. A good request is: specific, polite, and actionable.

A. Look at this vague request and make it clear:

Vague: “Can you help me sometime?”

Clear: ________________________________

B. Turn these into clear requests:

1. “I need that report soon.”
   Clear: ________________________________
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. “Tell me what’s happening.”
   Clear: ________________________________
   
   
   
   
   
   

3. Active Listening Practice

Active listening shows you understand and respect what someone says. One technique is to paraphrase.

Read this statement and write a paraphrase response:

“My landlord won’t fix the heating, and I’m freezing at night.”

Paraphrase: ___________________________

4. Role-Play Scenario

Choose a scenario and practice using an I-message, clear request, and active listening in a conversation. Partner A will speak first; Partner B will respond. Then switch roles.

Scenario: You need extra time on a work project but your supervisor is tight on deadlines.

Notes for Partner A (Advocate):

• Use an I-message to express your need.
• Make a clear request for more time.

Your I-message request:
________________________________________

Notes for Partner B (Supervisor):

• Paraphrase what you heard.
• Ask one clarifying question.

Your paraphrase/question:
________________________________________

—End of Worksheet—

Real-Life Case Study: Alex’s Self-Advocacy Journey

Alex is a 25-year-old retail associate who uses a wheelchair. When Alex started a new job at a busy bookstore, the staff break room was down a flight of stairs with no ramp. Alex noticed that every time they needed a break, they had to leave the team area to go home or wait until someone could escort them—making them feel isolated and exhausted.

Identifying the Need

Alex thought through their rights and the practical impact of the situation. They recognized that the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) supports reasonable workplace accommodations. Alex wrote down how the lack of an accessible break room:

• Affected their ability to rest and recharge during shifts
• Made them feel excluded from team conversations
• Reduced overall productivity and safety on the job

Preparing the Conversation

Before speaking with the manager, Alex:

1. Chose an I-message structure: “I feel (feeling) when (situation) because (reason). I would like (request).”
2. Gathered examples of accessible layouts used by other locations.
3. Drafted a polite, clear request to install a small ramp or create a temporary accessible area.

The Discussion and Outcome

Alex met with the store manager in a quiet office. Using an I-message, Alex said:

“I feel left out when I can’t join my coworkers in the break room because I don’t have a safe way to access it. I would like us to consider adding a portable ramp or designating an accessible break space.”

The manager listened carefully, paraphrased Alex’s concern, and asked clarifying questions about cost and logistics. Together, they agreed on installing a portable ramp within two weeks and marking an accessible seating area with clear signage.

Within days, Alex noticed colleagues inviting them back to the break room, and productivity improved. Alex felt respected and empowered to speak up again if future issues arose.

Discussion Questions

1. What rights did Alex identify before talking with the manager?
2. How did Alex use an I-message to express their needs?
3. What steps helped Alex prepare for a positive conversation?
4. How did the manager’s active listening and questions improve the outcome?
5. In your own life, what is one situation where you could follow Alex’s approach to advocate for yourself?

Self-Advocacy Discussion Guide

Purpose

This one-on-one discussion helps the learner reflect on self-advocacy concepts, relate them to personal experiences, and plan next steps. Use prompts to guide a deep conversation and encourage active participation.

How to Use This Guide

• Keep the learner engaged by asking open-ended questions.
• Allow time for thinking and note-taking.
• Offer positive feedback and clarifying follow-ups.
• Reference materials as needed:
  • Self-Advocacy Rights Handout
  • Real-Life Case Study Reading
  • Communication Strategies Worksheet
  • Role-Play Scenarios Cards
  • Advocacy Board Game Template
  • Self-Reflection Quiz

1. Reflecting on Alex’s Journey

1. Which rights did Alex identify before meeting the manager?
   • Follow-up: How do these compare to rights you know about?
     Response:
     
     
     
     
     
     
2. What made Alex’s I-message effective?
   • Follow-up: Which part of the I-message would you find hardest to use?
     Response:
     
     
     
     
     
     
3. How did the manager’s response (active listening, paraphrasing, questions) change the outcome?
   Response:
   
   
   
   
   
   

2. Connecting to Your Rights

1. Review the Self-Advocacy Rights Handout. Which two rights feel most important in your daily life?
   Rights Chosen:
   
   
   
2. Describe a time you felt a right was overlooked or ignored. What happened?
   Situation:
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. How could knowing your rights change how you respond next time?
   Plan:
   
   
   
   
   
   

3. Reviewing Communication Strategies

1. Using the Communication Strategies Worksheet, which tool (I-message, clear request, paraphrase) do you feel strongest about? Why?
   Response:
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. Which tool feels most challenging? What support do you need to build it?
   Response:
   
   
   
   
   
   

4. Scenario Brainstorm

Choose a current or future situation where you want to advocate for yourself. Describe it below, then work through the prompts.

Scenario Description:

1. Create an I-message for this scenario.
   Your I-message:
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. Draft a clear, specific request with timing.
   Your request:
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. What questions might the other person ask? How will you respond?
   Possible Question: ____________________________
   
   
   Your Response:
   
   
   
   
   
   

5. Action Planning and Follow-Up

1. From today’s discussion, identify two SMART goals for your next self-advocacy steps.
   • Goal 1: _________________________________
   
   
   • Goal 2: _________________________________
   
   
2. What support or resources will help you reach these goals?
   Support Needed:
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. Set a timeline and plan a follow-up check-in date.
   Timeline: ________________________________
   
   
   Follow-Up Date: ___________________________
   
   

Encourage the learner to revisit the Role-Play Scenarios Cards or play another round of the Advocacy Board Game Template to practice these plans. Use the Self-Reflection Quiz at the next session to track progress and insights.

Advocacy Board Game Template

Game Overview

Play this board game one-on-one to practice self-advocacy in fun, real-life scenarios. Each turn, the learner advances along the board, draws a challenge card, and responds using I-messages, clear requests, or active listening. Debrief after each turn to reinforce skills.

Materials Needed

• Printed board (draw 12 connected spaces in a winding path)
• Challenge Cards (cut into individual cards)
• Game pawn or token
• Dice or spinner (1–6)
• Pen and paper for notes

Setup

1. Place the board on a table. Label spaces 1 (Start) through 12 (Finish).
2. Shuffle the Challenge Cards and place them face down.
3. Give the learner a pawn and have them start on space 1.
4. Decide who rolls first; learner begins if solo.

How to Play

1. Roll the dice and move your pawn forward that many spaces.
2. Draw the top Challenge Card and read it aloud.
3. Use the indicated advocacy skill (I-message, clear request, or active listening) to respond.
4. Write or say your response.
5. Discuss strengths and areas to improve.
6. Return the card to the bottom of the pile.
7. Next turn begins—roll again.
8. First to reach space 12 (Finish) wins and earns a small reward.

Board Design Example

[Start] → 2 → 3 → 4 → 5 → 6 → 7 → 8 → 9 → 10 → 11 → [Finish]

Challenge Cards Template

Cut along lines to create individual cards. On each card include:

• Scenario: Brief workplace or daily-life situation
• Skill: I-message / Clear request / Active listening
• Space for learner response

1. Scenario: Your coworker interrupts you constantly in meetings and you can’t finish your points.
   Skill: I-message
   Your response:
   
   
   
   
   
   

1. Scenario: You need an interpreter at a doctor’s appointment but the office says they can’t provide one.
   Skill: Clear request
   Your response:
   
   
   
   
   
   

1. Scenario: A neighbor plays loud music late at night and it keeps you awake.
   Skill: I-message
   Your response:
   
   
   
   
   
   

1. Scenario: You ask a teacher for extra time on an assignment; they seem confused.
   Skill: Active listening (as teacher)
   Paraphrase and question:
   
   
   
   
   
   

1. Scenario: Your supervisor piles new tasks onto you without notice.
   Skill: Clear request
   Your response:
   
   
   
   
   
   

1. Scenario: You feel excluded from group social events because of inaccessible venues.
   Skill: I-message
   Your response:
   
   
   
   
   
   

1. Scenario: A service provider uses jargon you don’t understand.
   Skill: Clear request
   Your response:
   
   
   
   
   
   

1. Scenario: You tell a friend your technology isn’t working; they keep giving advice without listening.
   Skill: Active listening (as friend)
   Paraphrase and question:
   
   
   
   
   
   

1. Scenario: You need a quiet workspace but can’t find one in the office.
   Skill: I-message
   Your response:
   
   
   
   
   
   

1. Scenario: You request printed materials in large text; the teacher forgets to provide them.
   Skill: Clear request
   Your response:
   
   
   
   
   
   

Debrief After Each Card

• What did you do well?
• Which part felt challenging?
• How could you adjust your phrasing next time?
• Identify one takeaway to practice further.

Tips for Facilitator

• Encourage honest reflection and positive feedback.
• Adapt scenarios to fit the learner’s own experiences.
• Pause play for deeper discussion if needed.
• Offer examples or sentence starters if the learner struggles.

—End of Advocacy Board Game Template—

Role-Play Scenarios Cards

Use these cards for one-on-one role-play practice. For each scenario, Partner A plays the advocate, using an I-message or clear request, and Partner B plays the support person, practicing active listening (paraphrasing and asking clarifying questions). After each round, debrief together.

Scenario 1: Interrupted in a Meeting

Situation: Your coworker frequently interrupts you during team meetings, so you can’t share your ideas.

Partner A (Advocate):

• Use an I-message to express your frustration and request fair speaking time.

Your I-message:
__________________________________________

Partner B (Coworker):

• Paraphrase what you heard.
• Ask one question to understand the impact on the conversation.

Your paraphrase/question:
__________________________________________

Scenario 2: Requesting an Interpreter

Situation: You have a doctor’s appointment coming up and need an interpreter, but the office staff says they can’t provide one.

Partner A (Advocate):

• Make a clear request for an interpreter, specifying when and how it should be arranged.

Your clear request:
__________________________________________

Partner B (Office Staff):

• Paraphrase the request.
• Ask a clarifying question about your needs or timeline.

Your paraphrase/question:
__________________________________________

Scenario 3: Noisy Neighbor

Situation: Your neighbor plays loud music every night after 10 PM, making it hard for you to sleep.

Partner A (Advocate):

• Use an I-message to describe how the noise affects you and request a change.

Your I-message:
__________________________________________

Partner B (Neighbor):

• Paraphrase the concern.
• Ask one question about possible solutions.

Your paraphrase/question:
__________________________________________

Scenario 4: Unclear Assignment Directions

Situation: Your teacher gave a complex assignment but used jargon you don’t understand.

Partner A (Advocate):

• Make a clear request for simpler language and examples.

Your clear request:
__________________________________________

Partner B (Teacher):

• Paraphrase the request.
• Ask one question to ensure you understand which terms need clarification.

Your paraphrase/question:
__________________________________________

Scenario 5: Group Project Imbalance

Situation: In a group project, one member is not contributing, and you’re doing most of the work.

Partner A (Advocate):

• Use an I-message to explain how the uneven workload affects you and request a fair distribution of tasks.

Your I-message:
__________________________________________

Partner B (Group Member):

• Paraphrase what you heard.
• Ask one question about how you can better support each other.

Your paraphrase/question:
__________________________________________

Scenario 6: Seeking Extra Time

Situation: You need extra time to complete an official form, but the deadline is tomorrow.

Partner A (Advocate):

• Draft a clear request for a deadline extension, stating how much additional time you need.

Your clear request:
__________________________________________

Partner B (Administrator):

• Paraphrase your request.
• Ask a clarifying question about why the extension is needed.

Your paraphrase/question:
__________________________________________

Debrief After Each Scenario

• What did Partner A do well?
• What part of the message was most effective?
• How did Partner B’s paraphrase or question help the conversation?
• What could be improved next time?
• Note one key takeaway for further practice.

—End of Role-Play Scenarios Cards—