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Speak Up Kindly

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Kimest Sanders

Tier 1
For Schools

Lesson Plan

Assertive Communication Plan

Students will use assertive communication—crafting “I-statements,” making clear requests, and using a respectful tone—to state a problem and set a boundary in partner role-play scenarios.

Teaching assertive talk empowers 2nd graders to advocate for themselves, build healthy relationships, and resolve conflicts respectfully.

Audience

2nd Grade

Time

45 minutes

Approach

Model, guided practice, role-play, debrief.

Materials

  • Speak Up Kindly Slides, - Boundary and Request Planner, - Perspective-Taking Role Cards, and - Respect vs. Disrespect Sort

Prep

Prepare Materials

10 minutes

  • Review Speak Up Kindly Slides, Boundary and Request Planner, Perspective-Taking Role Cards, and Respect vs. Disrespect Sort.
  • Print one worksheet and one set of role cards per pair.
  • Arrange a clear space for the sorting activity and role-play areas.

Step 1

Warm-Up & Sorting Intro

5 minutes

  • Display two examples of passive, aggressive, and assertive statements on slide 2–3.
  • Give each pair a card from Respect vs. Disrespect Sort to label as “Respectful/Assertive” or “Not Assertive.”
  • Quick share: Ask volunteers why they sorted cards as they did.

Differentiation:

  • ELL: Provide picture cues for tone.
  • Advanced: Ask students to write their own example.

Step 2

Modeling I-Statements

10 minutes

  • Introduce the I-statement structure: “I feel ___ when ___, so I need ___.”
  • Teacher models one on slide 4, filling a sample problem and request on the Boundary and Request Planner.
  • In pairs, students brainstorm a small problem (e.g., loud talking) and complete the planner together.

Differentiation:

  • Struggling learners: Provide sentence starters.
  • Fast finishers: Challenge to add respectful tone descriptors (e.g., calm voice).

Step 3

Partner Role-Plays

15 minutes

  • Distribute Perspective-Taking Role Cards so each student has a role and scenario.
  • Partners role-play once as Speaker (uses I-statement) and once as Listener (responds respectfully).
  • Teacher circulates, prompts with questions: “How do you feel?” and offers corrective feedback.

Differentiation:

  • Shy learners: Allow drawing or whisper role-play.
  • Extension: Switch cards with another pair for new scenarios.

Step 4

Class Debrief

10 minutes

  • Gather whole class; ask pairs to share one successful I-statement and how tone changed the outcome.
  • On Slide 5, highlight examples of respectful tone vs. harsh tone.
  • Discuss why setting boundaries kindly helps friendships.

Step 5

Assessment & Closing

5 minutes

  • Exit Ticket: Each student writes one I-statement with a boundary and request on an index card.
  • Collect tickets to check for correct structure and respectful tone.
  • Note students needing extra practice for small-group follow-up.
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Slide Deck

Speak Up Kindly: Assertive Communication

• How can our words and tone help us solve problems?
• Learn to use I-statements, clear requests, and a respectful tone.

Welcome students! Today we’ll learn how to speak up kindly when we have a problem or need a boundary. Explain that using our words with a calm and respectful tone helps us solve problems and keep friendships strong. Share the lesson objective: “You will use assertive communication—like I-statements, clear requests, and a respectful tone—to state a problem and set a boundary.”

What Is Assertive Communication?

Passive: “I guess it’s fine.”
Aggressive: “Give me that now!”
Assertive: “I feel upset when you grab my toy, so I need you to wait your turn.”

Introduce the three communication styles. Explain that passive leaves out feelings, aggressive blames others, and assertive shares feelings and a clear need. Use simple, relatable examples.

Sort the Statements

  1. “You never share your markers!”
  2. “I feel sad when you don’t share, so I need one marker now.”
  3. “Fine, take it.”
  4. “Stop being so mean!”

Display four example statements without labels. Invite students to sort cards from Respect vs. Disrespect Sort into Respectful/Assertive or Not Assertive. Discuss choices.

I-Statement Structure

I feel ___ when ___,
so I need ___.

Example:
I feel nervous when you shout,
so I need you to use a calm voice.

Teach the I-statement structure step by step. Model with a teacher-chosen scenario on screen and fill in the blanks on the Boundary and Request Planner. Encourage students to notice the feeling word, the situation, and the clear request.

Plan Your I-Statement

• Use the Boundary and Request Planner
• Write your feeling word
• Describe the situation
• State your request clearly

Prompt students to work with a partner and complete their own planner. Circulate to offer sentence starters if needed, and challenge fast finishers to add tone words (e.g., calm, kind).

Partner Role-Plays

  1. Speaker: Share your I-statement.
  2. Listener: Respond respectfully.
  3. Switch roles.

Remember: Make eye contact, speak calmly, and listen.

Explain the role-play process: one student is the Speaker using their I-statement, the other is the Listener practicing respectful responses. Then switch roles. Hand out Perspective-Taking Role Cards.

Debrief & Closing

• What I-statement did you use?
• How did the tone help?
• Why are boundaries important for friendships?

Bring the class back together. Invite pairs to share one I-statement and how tone changed the outcome. Highlight strong examples and reinforce why speaking up kindly helps everyone feel respected.

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Worksheet

Boundary and Request Planner

Use this planner to build your I-statement. Fill in each part below, then write your full I-statement in the final box.

1. Feeling (I feel …):





2. Situation (when …):





3. Request (so I need …):





4. My full I-statement:










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Activity

Perspective-Taking Role Cards

Use these cards in your partner role-plays. Each pair draws one Speaker card and one Listener card with the same scenario number. The Speaker practices an I-statement and the Listener responds with a respectful reply.

Card Set (8 Scenarios):

  1. Scenario: Your friend takes your colored pencil without asking.
    • Speaker: Use an I-statement to tell them how you feel and what you need.
    • Listener: Listen, say you’re sorry, and ask how to make it right.
  2. Scenario: A classmate is talking loudly while you’re trying to read.
    • Speaker: Use an I-statement to explain the problem and request quiet.
    • Listener: Acknowledge their feeling and agree to lower your voice.
  3. Scenario: Someone pushed in front of you in line at lunch.
    • Speaker: Use an I-statement to share your feeling and ask them to wait their turn.
    • Listener: Say you understand and promise to go to the back of the line.
  4. Scenario: A partner doesn’t pass you any of the art supplies.
    • Speaker: Use an I-statement to say you feel sad and request a turn.
    • Listener: Apologize and ask how many you’d like.
  5. Scenario: Your classmate calls your drawing “bad.”
    • Speaker: Use an I-statement to share how it makes you feel and ask them to stop.
    • Listener: Say you’re sorry and compliment something you like.
  6. Scenario: A friend keeps interrupting while you speak.
    • Speaker: Use an I-statement to tell them you feel frustrated and request they wait.
    • Listener: Acknowledge and promise to listen without interrupting.
  7. Scenario: Someone won’t share the jump rope at recess.
    • Speaker: Use an I-statement to explain your feeling and ask for a turn.
    • Listener: Respond kindly, suggest a sharing plan (e.g., “two minutes each”).
  8. Scenario: Your classmate scribbles on your desk.
    • Speaker: Use an I-statement to express upset and ask for cleaning help.
    • Listener: Say you’re sorry and offer to help clean it up.

How to Use:

  • Partners pick cards with the same scenario number.
  • Speaker shares their I-statement.
  • Listener practices a respectful response.
  • Switch roles and repeat or choose a new scenario.

Remember: I-statements help you share feelings calmly, and respectful responses keep the conversation kind.

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Discussion

Respect vs. Disrespect Sort

Purpose: Help students recognize the difference between respectful/assertive language and disrespectful/passive or aggressive language.

Materials:

  • Pre-made statement cards (mix of assertive, passive, and aggressive examples)
  • Two sorting headers on the floor or table: “Respectful/Assertive” and “Not Respectful/Assertive”

Instructions:

  1. In pairs, take turns reading one statement card aloud.
  2. Decide together whether the statement sounds respectful/assertive or not.
  3. Place the card under the matching header.
  4. Continue until all cards are sorted.

Sample Cards to Sort

  • “I guess it’s fine if you want to play with my toy.”
  • “Give me that now!”
  • “I feel upset when you grab my toy, so I need you to wait your turn.”
  • “You never share your markers!”
  • “I feel sad when you don’t share, so I need one marker now.”
  • “Stop talking so loudly!”
  • “Could you please lower your voice while I read?”
  • “Whatever, do what you want.”
  • “Move out of my way!”
  • “Excuse me, I need to get through.”

Class Discussion Prompts

  1. Which pile was easier to sort? Why?
  2. How did the respectful/assertive statements make you feel?
  3. How did the disrespectful/aggressive statements make you feel?
  4. Why is it important to speak up kindly when we have a problem or boundary?
  5. Can you think of a time when someone used respectful words with you? How did that help?

Follow-Up Activity

  • Ask each student to write one new statement on a blank card—either respectful/assertive or not—and swap cards with a partner to sort and discuss.

Remember: Learning to spot respectful talk helps us choose words that keep friendships strong!

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