Lesson Plan
Solving Friendship Puzzles
Empower students with practical social skills for navigating peer relationships by teaching effective strategies for resolving common conflicts and misunderstandings among friends.
Understanding how to resolve conflicts is crucial for healthy friendships and overall well-being. This lesson provides essential tools for positive social interactions, reducing stress, and building stronger, more resilient friendships.
Audience
3rd-5th Grade Students
Time
45 minutes
Approach
Scenario-based problem-solving, active listening, and communication strategies.
Materials
Smartboard or projector, Friendship Puzzle Slide Deck, Friendship Fix-Up Scenarios Activity, My Friendship Solutions Worksheet, and Pencils or markers
Prep
Teacher Preparation
15 minutes
- Review the Friendship Puzzle Slide Deck and familiarize yourself with the content.
- Print copies of the Friendship Fix-Up Scenarios Activity (one per small group).
- Print copies of the My Friendship Solutions Worksheet (one per student).
- Arrange desks for small group work if possible.
- Review all generated materials as needed.
Step 1
Introduction: What's a Friendship Puzzle?
5 minutes
- Begin with a warm greeting and ask students to share a time they had a small disagreement with a friend (without naming names).
- Introduce the concept of 'Friendship Puzzles' – challenges in friendships that need to be solved.
- Explain that today's lesson will help them learn how to solve these puzzles. (Refer to Friendship Puzzle Slide Deck slides 1-2)
Step 2
Understanding Conflict Resolution Steps
10 minutes
- Use the Friendship Puzzle Slide Deck (slides 3-7) to introduce the key steps for solving friendship puzzles:
- Pause: Take a breath, calm down.
- Perspective: Try to see it from your friend's side.
- Politely Talk: Use "I feel" statements.
- Listen: Really hear what your friend says.
- Solution Search: Brainstorm ideas together.
- Discuss each step with examples relevant to 3rd-5th graders.
Step 3
Scenario-Based Problem Solving Activity
15 minutes
- Divide students into small groups (3-4 students per group).
- Distribute the Friendship Fix-Up Scenarios Activity to each group.
- Explain that each group will read a scenario and, using the steps they just learned, come up with a solution.
- Circulate among groups, providing guidance and facilitating discussions. Encourage them to act out parts of the scenarios if comfortable.
Step 4
Share and Reflect
10 minutes
- Bring the class back together. Ask each group to share one of their scenarios and the solution they came up with.
- Facilitate a brief discussion: What was challenging? What was easy? What did they learn?
- Reinforce the idea that solving friendship puzzles takes practice and effort.
Step 5
Individual Application: My Friendship Solutions
5 minutes
- Distribute the My Friendship Solutions Worksheet to each student.
- Ask students to reflect on a past or potential friendship puzzle and apply the learned steps to brainstorm a solution.
- Explain that this worksheet is for personal reflection and practice, not for grading.
- Conclude by emphasizing the importance of kindness, understanding, and communication in all friendships.
Slide Deck
Solving Friendship Puzzles!
Ever had a friendship problem?
### What makes friendships tricky sometimes?
Today, we'll become Friendship Detectives and learn to solve common friendship puzzles!
Welcome students and introduce the exciting topic of 'Friendship Puzzles'. Ask them to think about times friendships can be tricky. This slide sets the stage and piques their interest.
What's a Friendship Puzzle?
It's a problem or disagreement between friends.
It's normal for friends to have them!
We can learn to solve them and make our friendships even stronger!
Explain that 'friendship puzzles' are simply challenges or disagreements that can happen between friends. Emphasize that it's normal for friends to have disagreements, and the goal is to learn how to solve them in a kind way. Connect this to the idea of building stronger friendships.
Step 1: P.A.U.S.E.
Put down what you're doing.
Ask yourself, "How do I feel?"
Use a calming trick (deep breath, count to 5).
Slow down your thoughts.
Expect to find a solution!
Introduce the first step: PAUSE. Explain that when a problem happens, our first reaction might be strong emotions. Taking a moment to pause helps us calm down so we can think clearly. Ask for examples of how they might 'pause'.
Step 2: P.E.R.S.P.E.C.T.I.V.E.
Try to see the situation from your friend's side.
Why might they be feeling that way?
What might they be thinking?
It's like putting yourself in their shoes!
Introduce the second step: PERSPECTIVE. Explain that it's important to think about how the other person might be feeling or why they did what they did. This helps build empathy. Ask: "Why might your friend be upset?"
Step 3: P.O.L.I.T.E.L.Y. Talk
Use "I feel" statements.
Explain how their action made you feel.
Avoid blaming words like "You always..." or "You never..."
Example: "I feel sad when my ideas aren't heard."
Introduce the third step: POLITELY TALK. Focus on 'I feel' statements. Explain that these statements help us express our feelings without blaming. Model a few examples, e.g., "I feel sad when I'm left out." instead of "You always leave me out."
Step 4: L.I.S.T.E.N.
Look at your friend.
Interrupting is not listening.
Show you understand (nod, say "uh-huh").
Think about what they are saying.
Everyone deserves to be heard.
Never assume you know what they mean.
Introduce the fourth step: LISTEN. Emphasize active listening – truly hearing and understanding what the friend is saying, not just waiting for your turn to talk. Ask: "What does it mean to really listen?"
Step 5: S.O.L.U.T.I.O.N. Search
Share ideas together.
Options for everyone.
Look for a win-win!
Understand what works for both of you.
Try out your best idea.
If it doesn't work, try another idea.
Often, compromising helps.
Nice job solving your puzzle!
Introduce the final step: SOLUTION SEARCH. Explain that the goal is to find a 'win-win' solution where both friends feel good about the outcome. Brainstorm a few simple solutions for a common problem like sharing a toy.
Time to Practice!
Now let's try solving some Friendship Puzzles together!
Remember our 5 steps:
1. Pause
2. Perspective
3. Politely Talk
4. Listen
5. Solution Search
Work with your groups to find some win-win solutions!
This slide transitions to the activity. Remind students that practice makes perfect! Encourage them to apply the steps in their groups.
Activity
Friendship Fix-Up Scenarios Activity
Instructions: Read each scenario with your group. Discuss how the friends could use the 5 steps (Pause, Perspective, Politely Talk, Listen, Solution Search) to solve their friendship puzzle. Write down your group's solution for each scenario.
Scenario 1: The Missing Toy
Leo brought his favorite new action figure to school to show his friend, Mia. During recess, they were playing with it, and then Mia ran off to play tag with other friends, forgetting the action figure on the swings. When Leo went to get it, it was gone! Leo is upset and thinks Mia lost it on purpose.
How can Leo and Mia solve this puzzle?
1. Pause: How might Leo and Mia be feeling? What should they do to calm down?
2. Perspective: What might Mia have been thinking? What might Leo be worried about?
3. Politely Talk: What could Leo say to Mia using an "I feel" statement? What could Mia say in response?
4. Listen: What should Leo and Mia listen for when the other is talking?
5. Solution Search: What are some ways they could solve this problem (e.g., look for it together, apologize, share another toy)?
Scenario 2: Group Project Trouble
Sarah, David, and Emily are working on a group project for science. Sarah and David have been doing most of the work, and Emily keeps getting distracted or saying she doesn't know what to do. Sarah and David are frustrated because the deadline is coming soon, and they feel Emily isn't helping enough.
How can Sarah, David, and Emily solve this puzzle?
1. Pause: How might Sarah and David be feeling? How might Emily be feeling? What should they do to calm down?
2. Perspective: What might be going on with Emily? Why might Sarah and David be frustrated?
3. Politely Talk: What could Sarah or David say to Emily using an "I feel" statement? What could Emily say in response?
4. Listen: What should they each listen for when others are talking?
5. Solution Search: What are some ways they could solve this problem (e.g., assign specific tasks, work together on a difficult part, ask the teacher for advice)?
Scenario 3: The Lunchtime Seating Mix-Up
Maria always sits with her best friend, Chloe, at lunch. Today, when Maria got to the lunch table, Chloe was already sitting with a new student, Lily, and there wasn't an empty spot next to Chloe. Maria felt left out and like Chloe was replacing her. Chloe didn't even notice Maria was upset.
How can Maria and Chloe solve this puzzle?
1. Pause: How might Maria be feeling? What should she do to calm down?
2. Perspective: What might Chloe have been thinking? Why might she not have noticed Maria?
3. Politely Talk: What could Maria say to Chloe using an "I feel" statement?
4. Listen: What should Chloe listen for if Maria talks to her?
5. Solution Search: What are some ways they could solve this problem (e.g., making space, inviting Lily to join their group, Maria finding another seat for today)?
Worksheet
My Friendship Solutions Worksheet
Instructions: Think about a time you had a small disagreement with a friend, or imagine a friendship problem that could happen. Use the 5 steps we learned to think about how you could solve it. This is for your practice!
My Friendship Puzzle
What was the problem or what could the problem be? Describe it briefly.
The 5 Steps to Solving My Puzzle
1. P.A.U.S.E.
What would you do to calm down or take a moment before reacting?
2. P.E.R.S.P.E.C.T.I.V.E.
How might your friend be feeling or thinking? What might be their side of the story?
3. P.O.L.I.T.E.L.Y. Talk
What could you say to your friend using an "I feel" statement?
4. L.I.S.T.E.N.
What would you listen for when your friend talks? How would you show them you are listening?
5. S.O.L.U.T.I.O.N. Search
What are some possible solutions that would work for both of you? What is the best solution you can think of?