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Repair and Reconnect

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JOYCE PURCELL

Tier 1
For Schools

Lesson Plan

Repair and Reconnect

Students will use a restorative apology script and select one concrete repair action for a relationship slip.

Learning to apologize effectively helps students take accountability for their actions, rebuild trust, and maintain healthy relationships, which are crucial life skills for personal growth and positive social interactions.

Audience

9th Grade Students

Time

30 minutes

Approach

Direct instruction, role-play, and reflective writing.

Materials

Slides Repair and Reconnect, Do Now When I Mess Up, Apology Script Template, Repair Action Plan, Role-Play and Feedback, and Exit Ticket My Next Step

Prep

Review Materials

10 minutes

  • Review the Repair and Reconnect Lesson Plan, Slides Repair and Reconnect, Do Now When I Mess Up, Apology Script Template, Repair Action Plan, Role-Play and Feedback, and Exit Ticket My Next Step.
    - Ensure projector/screen is set up for the slide deck.
    - Print copies of the Apology Script Template and Repair Action Plan for each student if physical copies are preferred, or prepare for digital distribution/display.

Step 1

Do Now: When I Mess Up

5 minutes

  • Display the Do Now When I Mess Up on the screen (or distribute copies).
    - Instruct students to silently reflect and write their responses.
    - Briefly discuss a few anonymous or volunteered responses to gauge prior understanding of conflict and apology.

Step 2

Teach: Components of a Restorative Apology

10 minutes

  • Use the Slides Repair and Reconnect to guide the discussion.
    - Introduce the key concepts: accountability, restoration, and trust-building.
    - Explain the three components of a restorative apology: owning the harm, expressing empathy, and offering repair.
    - Distribute the Apology Script Template and walk through each section, providing examples.

Step 3

Role-Play: Practice with Script Template

8 minutes

  • Divide students into pairs.
    - Provide a scenario of a minor 'relationship slip' (e.g., forgetting a friend's birthday, accidentally breaking something, saying something insensitive).
    - Instruct students to use the Apology Script Template to practice giving and receiving a restorative apology.
    - Circulate to offer guidance and listen for understanding. Refer to Role-Play and Feedback for discussion prompts.

Step 4

Write: Choose a Repair Action and Plan

5 minutes

  • Distribute the Repair Action Plan.
    - Instruct students to reflect on a personal 'relationship slip' (either the one from the warm-up or another minor one).
    - Guide them to choose one concrete repair action from the template or brainstorm their own, and outline how they will implement it.

Step 5

Reflect and Exit Ticket

2 minutes

  • Distribute the Exit Ticket My Next Step.
    - Ask students to complete the exit ticket, reflecting on their learning and identifying one next step they can take.
    - Collect exit tickets as students leave to assess understanding.
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Slide Deck

Repair and Reconnect: Apologies That Work

How do you mend a broken connection? Let's learn to apologize with intention and impact.

Welcome students and introduce the lesson's objective: to learn how to make effective apologies that truly help repair relationships. Emphasize that everyone makes mistakes, and learning to apologize well is a sign of strength.

Do Now: When I Mess Up...

Think about a time you accidentally upset someone or made a mistake in a relationship.

  • What happened?
  • How did you try to apologize (or not)?
  • How did it feel?

Display the 'Do Now' prompt. Give students 3-5 minutes to reflect and write. You can ask them to keep it private or share briefly if they feel comfortable. This activates prior knowledge and sets the stage for the need for better apologies.

Beyond "I'm Sorry"

What is a Restorative Apology?

It's an apology that focuses on:

  • Accountability: Taking responsibility for your actions.
  • Restoration: Working to make things right again.
  • Trust Building: Showing you value the relationship.

Transition from the 'Do Now' to the idea of restorative apologies. Explain that these aren't just 'I'm sorry' but a way to actively fix things. Define accountability and restoration in simple terms.

The 3 Parts of a Powerful Apology

  1. Own the Harm: Clearly state what you did wrong and take responsibility.

    • Instead of: "I'm sorry IF you were offended."
    • Try: "I apologize for talking over you. That was disrespectful."

  2. Express Empathy: Show you understand how your actions affected the other person.

    • Instead of: "You're being too sensitive."
    • Try: "I can see that made you feel unheard and frustrated."

  3. Offer Repair: Suggest a concrete action to make amends or prevent it from happening again.

    • Instead of: "Let's just forget about it."
    • Try: "What can I do to make this right? Next time, I'll wait my turn to speak."

Introduce the three core components. Explain each one with simple examples. Highlight that empathy is crucial – understanding the other person's experience. Emphasize that a concrete 'repair action' is what makes it restorative.

Your Apology Toolkit: The Script

We'll use an Apology Script Template to help us practice these steps.

This template helps you organize your thoughts and ensure your apology is thorough and sincere.

Introduce the Apology Script Template. Explain that it's a guide, not a rigid script, to help them practice these components. Walk through each section of the template.

Practice Makes Perfect: Role-Play!

Now, let's try it out!

  1. Partner Up!
  2. Scenario: Imagine a minor disagreement or 'relationship slip' with your partner (e.g., you borrowed something without asking, you were late to meet them, you accidentally said something thoughtless).
  3. Use the Apology Script Template: One person gives a restorative apology, the other responds.
  4. Switch Roles!

Explain the role-play activity. Pair students up and give them a simple scenario. Stress that the goal is practice and constructive feedback. Circulate to provide support and listen to their discussions, referring to Role-Play and Feedback.

Making It Right: Your Repair Action Plan

Now, let's take this seriously.

Think about a real (minor) relationship slip from your own life. Use the Repair Action Plan to:

  1. Identify the situation.
  2. Outline your restorative apology.
  3. Choose ONE concrete action you can take to make things better.

Introduce the Repair Action Plan. Explain that after practicing, they'll apply it to a real (minor) situation. Emphasize that the repair action needs to be concrete and achievable.

What's Your Next Step?

Complete the Exit Ticket My Next Step.

Think about:

  • What did you learn today?
  • What is one thing you can do to apply this in your life?

Conclude the lesson by having students complete the Exit Ticket My Next Step. Collect these to assess their understanding and readiness to apply what they've learned.

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Warm Up

Do Now: When I Mess Up...

Take a few minutes to think about a time you accidentally upset someone or made a mistake in a relationship (it can be a minor one!).

  1. What happened? Describe the situation briefly.





  2. How did you try to apologize (or not)? What did you say or do?





  3. How did it feel? Describe your feelings and the other person's reaction (if you know it).





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Script

Apology Script Template: Repair and Reconnect

Use this template to help you craft a sincere and effective restorative apology. Fill in the blanks with your specific situation.

Step 1: Own the Harm (What did I do?)

  • Start with a clear statement of responsibility:
    "I want to apologize for..."
    "I take responsibility for..."
    "I was wrong when I..."



  • Specifically state your action without excuses:
    "When I [describe your action], I [describe the impact]."
    Example: "When I interrupted you during the group discussion, I prevented you from sharing your idea."






Step 2: Express Empathy (How did it affect the other person?)

  • Acknowledge the other person's feelings and experience:
    "I can imagine that made you feel..."
    "I understand that my actions caused you..."
    "It makes sense that you felt..."



  • Use feeling words to show you understand their perspective:
    Example: "I can imagine that made you feel unheard and frustrated, and I truly regret causing that."






Step 3: Offer Repair (What will I do to make it right?)

  • Suggest a concrete action to make amends or prevent it from happening again:
    "To make things right, I would like to..."
    "In the future, I will make sure to..."
    "What can I do to help repair this?"



  • Make your repair action specific and actionable:
    Example: "To make things right, I will actively listen next time and ask if you've finished before I speak." Or: "What can I do now to help you feel better about this?"











Putting it all together:

"I want to apologize for [your action]. I understand that made you feel [their feelings]. To make things right, I will [your repair action]."

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Journal

My Repair Action Plan

Now that you've learned about restorative apologies, let's apply it to a real (minor) situation.

Think about a recent small relationship slip, a misunderstanding, or a time you wish you had handled a situation differently with a friend, family member, or classmate.

1. The Situation:

  • Briefly describe what happened. What was your action, and what was the outcome?








2. Craft Your Restorative Apology:

  • Using the Apology Script Template as a guide, write out the key parts of your apology for this situation.
    • Own the Harm: What specific action are you taking responsibility for?


    • Express Empathy: How do you think your action affected the other person? What feelings might they have experienced?





3. Choose ONE Concrete Repair Action:

  • What is one specific, actionable thing you can do to try and make things right, or prevent this from happening again?

    • Examples: Offer to help with a task, listen more attentively next time, return a borrowed item promptly, suggest a conversation to clear the air, keep a promise.











  • Explain how you will carry out this repair action.

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Discussion

Role-Play: Practice and Feedback

When you and your partner are role-playing your restorative apologies, use these prompts to guide your conversation and feedback.

For the Apologizer:

  • How did it feel to use the Apology Script Template? Was it easy or difficult?
  • Which part of the apology (owning harm, expressing empathy, offering repair) felt most natural? Which felt most challenging?
  • What specific words or phrases did you use that you think were effective?
  • What did you learn about the importance of a concrete repair action?

For the Receiver (the person receiving the apology):

  • Did the apology feel sincere and complete? Why or why not?
  • Did the apologizer clearly take responsibility for their actions?
  • Did they show they understood how you felt?
  • Was the suggested repair action meaningful to you? What else might have helped?
  • How did this restorative apology compare to other apologies you've heard?

General Feedback Prompts for Both Partners:

  • What went well in the role-play?
  • What could be improved next time?
  • How can you apply what you learned today to real-life situations?

Remember, the goal is to practice, learn, and grow together!

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Cool Down

Exit Ticket: My Next Step

Take a moment to reflect on today's lesson about restorative apologies.

  1. What is the most important thing you learned about making a restorative apology today?





  2. What is one concrete step you can take to apply what you learned about repairing and reconnecting in your own relationships?










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