Script: Healthy Boundaries

Introduction & Hook: What Are Boundaries? (10 minutes)

(Display Healthy Boundaries Slide Deck - Slide 1: Healthy Boundaries: Nurturing Your Space)

"Good morning, everyone! Today, we're going to talk about something super important for all of our relationships and for our own well-being: healthy boundaries. To get us thinking, I want you to silently reflect for a moment on this question: Think about a time someone crossed a line with you. Maybe they borrowed something without asking, told a secret, or pushed you to do something you didn't want to do. How did it make you feel? You don't have to share, just think about it."

"Does anyone feel comfortable sharing one word or a short phrase about how that experience made them feel?" (Allow 2-3 brief responses, e.g., 'annoyed,' 'upset,' 'disrespected,' 'uncomfortable.')

(Display Healthy Boundaries Slide Deck - Slide 2: What Are Personal Boundaries?)

"Those feelings often arise when our personal boundaries are crossed. So, what exactly are personal boundaries? You can think of them as invisible lines that define where you end and others begin. They're like your personal property lines, and they're essential for protecting your space, your energy, and your overall well-being. They help us communicate what we are and are not comfortable with, and they are a fundamental part of self-respect."

(Display Healthy Boundaries Slide Deck - Slide 3: Why Do We Need Boundaries?)

"Why do we need these invisible lines? Well, they're crucial for several reasons:

• Self-Respect: When you set a boundary, you're telling yourself and others that your feelings and needs matter.
• Mental Health: Having clear boundaries can significantly reduce stress, anxiety, and resentment. It helps you maintain your peace of mind.
• Healthy Relationships: Boundaries don't build walls; they build bridges! They foster mutual respect and understanding, making your relationships stronger.
• Personal Space: This includes not just physical space, but also your time, energy, and privacy.

Today, we're going to explore different types of boundaries, and then we'll practice how to communicate them effectively."

Exploring Types of Boundaries (15 minutes)

(Display Healthy Boundaries Slide Deck - Slide 4: Types of Boundaries: Physical)

"Let's start with Physical Boundaries. These relate to your body and personal space. It's about who you allow into your personal bubble and what kind of touch you're comfortable with. For example, not wanting unwanted touch, deciding who can sit close to you, or your comfort level with hugs versus handshakes."

"Can anyone think of another example of a physical boundary?" (Allow 1-2 responses).

(Display Healthy Boundaries Slide Deck - Slide 5: Types of Boundaries: Emotional)

"Next, we have Emotional Boundaries. These relate to your feelings and emotional well-being. This might mean not taking responsibility for someone else's happiness, not allowing someone to yell at you, or choosing when and how much emotional support you can offer. It's also about not being a dumping ground for other people's problems without your consent."

"What's an example of an emotional boundary you might have with a friend or family member?" (Allow 1-2 responses).

(Display Healthy Boundaries Slide Deck - Slide 6: Types of Boundaries: Mental)

"Then there are Mental Boundaries. These protect your thoughts, beliefs, and values. It's about respecting differing opinions, not allowing others to constantly invalidate your thoughts, or having space for your own ideas without constant criticism. It also means setting limits on how long you'll engage in a debate if it becomes unproductive."

"How might a mental boundary look different from an emotional one?" (Prompt for distinction).

(Display Healthy Boundaries Slide Deck - Slide 7: Types of Boundaries: Digital)

"Finally, a very relevant one for our generation: Digital Boundaries. These relate to your online interactions and digital presence. This includes things like limiting screen time, deciding who sees your social media posts, not tolerating cyberbullying, and setting expectations for how quickly you respond to messages. It's about managing your online life so it doesn't overwhelm your real life."

"Why do you think digital boundaries are especially important today?" (Allow 1-2 responses).

"It's important to remember that boundaries aren't rigid rules for everyone. They can be flexible and change depending on the relationship and situation. What's okay with a close friend might not be okay with an acquaintance or a teacher."

Activity: Boundary Scenarios (20 minutes)

(Display Healthy Boundaries Slide Deck - Slide 8: Communicating Boundaries: Assertiveness)

"Now that we know what boundaries are, let's talk about how to set them. The key is assertive communication. Assertiveness means expressing your needs and feelings clearly and respectfully, without being passive (avoiding conflict) or aggressive (being demanding or hostile)."

(Display Healthy Boundaries Slide Deck - Slide 9: How to Set a Boundary)

"Here are five steps to help you set a boundary:

1. Identify Your Need: What exactly do you need to protect or communicate?
2. Choose Your Words: Use "I" statements. For example, 'I feel [emotion] when [action] and I need [boundary].'
3. Be Clear & Direct: Don't hint or apologize for having a boundary.
4. Be Consistent: If you set a boundary, stick to it. Consistency reinforces its importance.
5. Respect Others' Boundaries: This is crucial. If you want your boundaries respected, you must respect others'."

(Display Healthy Boundaries Slide Deck - Slide 10: Activity: Boundary Scenarios)

"Okay, let's put this into practice! I'm going to divide you into small groups. Each group will receive some Boundary Scenarios Activity cards. Your task is to:

• Read each scenario.
• Identify what type of boundary is being challenged.
• Discuss how the person in the scenario might feel.
• Brainstorm one healthy, assertive way to communicate a boundary in that situation.

I'll give you about 12 minutes to work in your groups, and then we'll come back together to share some of your responses. I'll be walking around if you have any questions." (Circulate, provide support, and manage time).

(After 12 minutes)

"Alright everyone, let's bring it back together. Who would like to share one scenario and how you discussed handling it?" (Facilitate sharing of 2-3 scenarios, highlighting assertive communication examples and different boundary types).

Individual Reflection: My Boundary Blueprint (10 minutes)

(Display Healthy Boundaries Slide Deck - Slide 11: Reflection: My Boundary Blueprint)

"That was great practice! Now, let's shift to some personal reflection. I'm going to hand out the My Boundary Blueprint Worksheet. This worksheet is for you to think about your own boundaries. What do your healthy boundaries look like? Where might you want to strengthen them?

This is a personal exercise, so you won't be required to share everything you write. However, if you feel comfortable sharing a general insight, you'll have the opportunity during our wrap-up discussion. Take about 8 minutes to work on this." (Distribute worksheets and allow students to work quietly).

Wrap-up & Discussion (5 minutes)

(Display Healthy Boundaries Slide Deck - Slide 12: Nurturing Your Space)

"As we wrap up today, I want to reiterate that setting boundaries is an ongoing process. It's a sign of self-respect and it significantly improves your relationships and mental health. It's okay to have boundaries, and it's okay for them to change as you grow and your relationships evolve."

"From your worksheet or our discussion today, what's one key takeaway you have about boundaries?" (Use questions from Discussion Guide: Boundary Reflections as needed).

"And finally, think about one small boundary you might want to practice setting or reinforcing this week, even if it's just in your own mind. Remember, practice makes progress! Thank you all for your thoughtful participation today."

Boundary Scenarios Activity

Instructions: Work in your small groups. For each scenario, discuss the following:

1. What type of boundary (physical, emotional, mental, digital) is being challenged or crossed?
2. How might the person in the scenario feel?
3. What is one healthy, assertive way to communicate a boundary in this situation? Use "I" statements!

Scenario 1: The Constant Complainer

Your friend, Alex, calls you every day after school and spends the entire conversation complaining about their day, their teachers, and other friends. You often feel drained and overwhelmed after talking to them, and you don't get a chance to share about your own day.

Scenario 2: The Unwanted Hug

Your aunt, whom you only see a few times a year, always greets you with a big, tight hug. You don't like being hugged by people you're not close to, and it makes you feel uncomfortable, but you don't want to be rude.

Scenario 3: The Homework Borrower

A classmate, Sam, frequently asks to copy your homework right before class, claiming they "didn't have time" to do it. You're worried that if you keep letting them, you might get in trouble, and it feels unfair.

Scenario 4: The Shared Photo

Your friend posts a picture of you on social media from a party last weekend. You think the picture is unflattering and you specifically asked your friend not to post any pictures of you without your permission.

Scenario 5: The Opinionated Peer

During a class discussion, a peer repeatedly interrupts you and dismisses your ideas, saying things like, "That's a silly way to think about it." You feel disrespected and unheard.

Scenario 6: The Late Night Texts

A new friend keeps texting you late at night (after 10 PM) even though you've mentioned that you need your sleep and prefer not to be disturbed so late. The texts often aren't urgent.

My Boundary Blueprint: Reflecting on My Personal Space

Instructions: This worksheet is for your personal reflection. Think about the different types of boundaries we discussed and consider how they apply to your own life and relationships. You do not have to share your responses unless you feel comfortable.

Part 1: Identifying My Boundaries

1. Physical Boundaries:

   • What makes you feel comfortable or uncomfortable regarding personal space and physical touch (e.g., hugs, sitting close, borrowing items)?
   • My comfort zone for physical space is:
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
   • I am comfortable with these types of physical touch:
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

2. Emotional Boundaries:

   • How much emotional support can you realistically offer to others without feeling drained? What kind of emotional treatment is not okay for you (e.g., yelling, guilt-tripping)?
   • I feel drained when:
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
   • I need to protect myself from these emotional actions:
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

3. Mental Boundaries:

   • How do you feel when someone dismisses your ideas or tries to change your beliefs? What level of intellectual disagreement are you comfortable with?
   • I feel disrespected when:
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
   • I need space for my own thoughts and opinions by:
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

4. Digital Boundaries:

   • What are your rules for screen time, social media sharing, or responding to messages? What kind of online behavior do you not tolerate?
   • I want to limit my screen time by:
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
   • My rules for sharing content online are:
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

Part 2: Setting My Boundaries

1. Think about one relationship (friend, family member, peer) where you feel a boundary might be unclear or needs to be strengthened. Which type of boundary is it?

   • Relationship:
     
     
     
     
   • Type of Boundary:
     
     
     
     

2. Using the "I feel... when... and I need..." statement, how might you assertively communicate this boundary?

   • My assertive statement:
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

3. What is one small step you can take this week to practice or reinforce a boundary in your life?

   • My small step:
     
     
     
     
     
     

Remember, setting boundaries is a continuous process of self-care and communication. You are worth protecting your space!

Discussion Guide: Boundary Reflections

Instructions for Teacher: Use these prompts to facilitate a class discussion during the wrap-up. Encourage students to share their insights, but remind them that personal reflections from their worksheets are private unless they choose to share.

Opening Questions

1. What was one new thing you learned about boundaries today?
2. Why do you think it can be challenging to set boundaries, even when we know they are important?

Deepening the Discussion

1. How can setting healthy boundaries actually improve your relationships, even if it feels awkward at first?
2. Can you think of a situation where not setting a boundary could lead to negative consequences for yourself or others?
3. We talked about different types of boundaries (physical, emotional, mental, digital). Which type do you think is most important for people your age to focus on, and why?
4. How does respecting someone else's boundary show them respect and care?

Personal Connection & Application

1. (Optional) From your "My Boundary Blueprint Worksheet," what is one general insight or realization you had about your own boundaries, without going into specific details?
2. What is one small, practical step you can take this week to start practicing or reinforcing a boundary in your life?
3. How might setting boundaries contribute to your overall self-respect and mental health?