Positive Peer Circles Discussion Guide

Welcome to our discussion on how to build strong, positive friendships! We all want friends who make us feel good and support us. Let's explore how we can make that happen.

Opening Questions

1. What does it mean to be a "good" friend? What qualities come to mind immediately?
   
   
   
2. Can you think of a time when a friend really supported you or made you feel great? What did they do?
   
   
   

Identifying Healthy vs. Unhealthy

3. Based on our discussion, what are some key characteristics of a positive friendship?
   
   
   
   
   
   
4. What are some "red flags" or warning signs that a friendship might be unhealthy?
   
   
   
   
   
   
5. Is it always easy to tell the difference? Why or why not?
   
   
   

Navigating Peer Pressure

6. We talked about positive and negative peer pressure. Can you share an example of a time when you experienced either? (You don't have to share personal details if you're uncomfortable).
   
   
   
   
   
   
7. How can having a strong "friendship filter" help you deal with negative peer pressure?
   
   
   
8. What are some ways to say "no" or set boundaries when friends are pressuring you to do something you don't want to do?
   
   
   

Cultivating Positive Relationships

9. What are some actions you can take to be a positive friend to others?
   
   
   
10. How can you actively seek out and build friendships with people who will uplift you?
    
    
    
11. What advice would you give to someone who is struggling with an unhealthy friendship?
    
    
    

Closing Reflection

12. What is one new idea or strategy about friendship that you will try to remember or use after today's discussion?
    
    
    

Friendship Scenarios Worksheet: Apply Your Filter!

Directions: Read each scenario carefully. For each scenario, answer the questions below. Think about what makes a friendship healthy or unhealthy, and how you would apply your "friendship filter."

Scenario 1: The Constant Critic

Your friend, Alex, often makes sarcastic comments about your clothes, your hobbies, or your ideas. They usually say, "I'm just being honest!" or "Can't you take a joke?" You often feel embarrassed or hurt after spending time with Alex, even though you've been friends for a long time.

1. What are the red flags in this friendship? What makes it feel unhealthy?
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. How might this friendship impact your self-esteem?
   
   
   
   
   
3. What could you do or say to Alex to address this issue, or what steps could you take to protect yourself?
   
   
   
   
   
   

Scenario 2: The Party Planner

Your friends, Jamie and Sam, always want to go to parties where there's drinking or other risky behavior. You've told them you're not comfortable with those activities, but they keep pushing you, saying, "Come on, don't be a bore! Everyone else is doing it." You like hanging out with them otherwise, but you don't want to compromise your values.

1. Is this an example of positive or negative peer pressure? Explain your reasoning.
   
   
   
   
   
2. What specific strategies could you use to politely but firmly decline their invitations without losing your friends?
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. How can you find friends who share your values and interests, especially when it comes to social activities?
   
   
   
   
   
   

Scenario 3: The Secret Keeper

Your friend, Taylor, recently told you a secret about another friend, Chris, and made you promise not to tell anyone. Later, you overhear Taylor telling another person the same secret about Chris. You feel uncomfortable and wonder if Taylor can really be trusted.

1. What core quality of a healthy friendship is being broken here?
   
   
   
2. How does this situation make you feel about Taylor? How might Chris feel if they found out?
   
   
   
   
   
3. What might you say to Taylor about what you observed, and how might this affect your trust in them?
   
   
   
   
   
   

Scenario 4: The Study Buddy

You're struggling in a class, and your friend, Jordan, notices. Jordan offers to study with you and helps explain difficult concepts without making you feel silly. They also encourage you to ask the teacher for help when you're really stuck. You feel more confident about the class because of Jordan's support.

1. What positive friendship qualities does Jordan demonstrate?
   
   
   
   
   
2. How does this friendship benefit you both?
   
   
   
   
   
3. How can you actively seek out and foster friendships like the one with Jordan?
   
   
   
   
   

Building Your Best Buds: Friendship Blueprint Activity!

Objective: To collaboratively design a blueprint for an ideal, positive friendship, applying the qualities and strategies discussed in class.

Time: 15-20 minutes

Materials: Large paper or whiteboard space, markers/colored pencils for each group.

Group Size: Small groups of 3-4 students.

Instructions:

1. Form Groups: Get into your assigned small groups.

2. Brainstorm Core Values (5 minutes):

   • As a group, discuss and list the top 5-7 most important qualities, values, and actions that define a truly positive and supportive friendship. Think beyond just "nice" – what really makes a friendship strong and lasting?
   • Consider questions like:
     • What makes you feel respected and valued in a friendship?
     • How do friends support each other during tough times?
     • What kind of communication is essential?
     • How do you resolve disagreements in a healthy way?
     • What makes a friendship fun and fulfilling?

3. Design Your Blueprint (10 minutes):

   • On your large paper or designated whiteboard space, create a visual "blueprint" or diagram of your ideal positive friendship. This isn't just a list; make it creative!
   • You could:
     • Draw a house with different rooms representing different aspects of friendship (e.g., "Trust Room," "Support System Foundation").
     • Create a tree with roots (values) and branches (actions/benefits).
     • Design a "friendship machine" that produces positive outcomes.
     • Use symbols, short phrases, and keywords to illustrate your ideas.
   • Make sure your blueprint clearly illustrates the components of a healthy friendship and how they interact.

4. Prepare for Presentation (5 minutes):

   • Choose one person from your group to be the presenter.
   • Work together to briefly summarize your blueprint. What are the most important elements you included? Why are they crucial?
   • Be ready to explain your creative choices.

Presentation (Optional, 2-3 minutes per group):

Each group will share their "Friendship Blueprint" with the class, explaining the key elements and why they chose to represent them that way.

Reflection Question (for after presentations): What similarities and differences did you notice across the different friendship blueprints? What does this tell us about the universal aspects of healthy friendships?

Friendship Scenarios Worksheet Answer Key

Note to Teacher: The following answers provide guidance. Student responses may vary but should demonstrate critical thinking and an understanding of healthy friendship principles. Encourage students to explain their reasoning thoroughly.

Scenario 1: The Constant Critic

1. What are the red flags in this friendship? What makes it feel unhealthy?

• Red Flags: Alex makes sarcastic comments, dismisses feelings with "just being honest" or "can't you take a joke," and causes the friend to feel embarrassed or hurt.
• Unhealthy aspects: Lack of respect, emotional invalidation, potential for emotional manipulation (gaslighting with "can't you take a joke"), and consistently negative feelings after interactions.

2. How might this friendship impact your self-esteem?

• Constant criticism can erode self-esteem, making the individual doubt themselves, feel inadequate, or become overly self-conscious. It can lead to anxiety and a desire to avoid Alex to prevent further hurt.

3. What could you do or say to Alex to address this issue, or what steps could you take to protect yourself?

• Direct Communication: Express feelings using "I" statements. E.g., "Alex, when you make those sarcastic comments, I feel hurt/embarrassed. I value our friendship, but I need you to be more respectful."
• Set Boundaries: Limit time with Alex, especially in situations where criticism is likely. If the behavior continues, consider reducing the intensity of the friendship.
• Seek Support: Talk to another trusted friend, a family member, or a counselor about the situation.
• Prioritize Self-Worth: Remind yourself that Alex's comments reflect on them, not on your inherent worth.

Scenario 2: The Party Planner

1. Is this an example of positive or negative peer pressure? Explain your reasoning.

• This is an example of negative peer pressure. Jamie and Sam are pushing the individual to engage in activities they are uncomfortable with (drinking, risky behavior) and are using guilt/shame ("don't be a bore," "everyone else is doing it") to try and influence their decision. It's negative because it compromises personal values and comfort.

2. What specific strategies could you use to politely but firmly decline their invitations without losing your friends?

• Firm "No" with Brief Explanation: "Thanks for the invite, but I'm not comfortable with those kinds of parties."
• Offer Alternatives: "I can't make it to that, but maybe we could do [alternative activity, e.g., movie night, sporting event] another time?"
• Blame it on a "Rule" (if applicable): "My parents have a strict rule about parties like that."
• Stick to Your Values: Reiterate your boundaries calmly. "I appreciate you asking, but I've made a choice not to participate in those activities."
• Walk Away/Change Subject: If they persist, politely disengage from the conversation.

3. How can you find friends who share your values and interests, especially when it comes to social activities?

• Join Clubs/Activities: Get involved in school clubs, sports, volunteer groups, or community activities that align with your interests.
• Observe Others: Pay attention to classmates or acquaintances who demonstrate behaviors and values you admire.
• Be Open: Be friendly and approachable to new people.
• Initiate Plans: Suggest activities you enjoy to current friends or new acquaintances.

Scenario 3: The Secret Keeper

1. What core quality of a healthy friendship is being broken here?

• Trust and Confidentiality (or reliability/discretion). A key part of trust is knowing that a friend will keep your secrets and respect private information.

2. How does this situation make you feel about Taylor? How might Chris feel if they found out?

• About Taylor: The individual would likely feel betrayed, disappointed, and question Taylor's trustworthiness. They might wonder if Taylor also shares their secrets.
• Chris: Chris would likely feel deeply hurt, betrayed, embarrassed, and angry that their private information was shared, especially by someone they trusted.

3. What might you say to Taylor about what you observed, and how might this affect your trust in them?

• Address the behavior: "Taylor, I overheard you telling [other person] Chris's secret, even though you told me not to tell anyone. That makes me really question if I can trust you."
• Explain the impact: "It makes me wonder if you would do the same with my secrets."
• Discuss Trust: Emphasize that trust is essential. "For me to fully trust you, I need to know you can keep private information confidential." This situation would likely significantly damage trust and require a lot of effort from Taylor to rebuild it.

Scenario 4: The Study Buddy

1. What positive friendship qualities does Jordan demonstrate?

• Supportive: Jordan notices a struggle and offers help.
• Empathetic/Patient: Helps explain concepts without judgment.
• Encouraging: Promotes seeking additional help from the teacher.
• Reliable/Helpful: Invests time and effort to assist a friend.

2. How does this friendship benefit you both?

• For You: Increased confidence, better understanding of the subject, academic improvement, feeling supported and valued.
• For Jordan: Reinforces their own understanding of the material by teaching it, strengthens the bond of friendship, and allows them to practice leadership/mentorship skills.

3. How can you actively seek out and foster friendships like the one with Jordan?

• Be Open to Collaboration: Look for opportunities to work with classmates on projects or study sessions.
• Offer Help: Be willing to help others when you can, as this often leads to reciprocal support.
• Communicate Needs: Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it.
• Spend Time Together: Engage in activities (academic or social) where you can build on shared interests and support each other's growth.
• Be a Good Friend Back: Show appreciation, reciprocate support, and be a positive presence in Jordan's life.

Friendship Filters Warm-Up: What's Your Vibe?

Directions: Take a moment to think about the people you spend time with. Then, answer the following questions to activate your thoughts about friendships.

1. If you could describe your ideal friend in three words, what would they be?
   
   
   

2. What is one thing that makes you feel really good when you're with a friend?
   
   
   

3. What is one thing that makes you feel uncomfortable or not so great when you're with a friend?
   
   
   

Friendship Filters Cool Down: Your Takeaways

Directions: Reflect on today's lesson and answer the following questions to solidify your understanding of friendship filters.

1. What is one new idea or strategy you learned today about choosing or maintaining positive friendships?
   
   
   
   
   

2. Describe one characteristic of an unhealthy friendship that you will be more aware of after this lesson.
   
   
   
   
   

3. How do you plan to apply your "friendship filter" in your own life?