Connect & Communicate: Building Great Relationships

Part 1: What is Rapport?

Rapport is a feeling of connection and understanding between people. It's like having a good vibe with someone, where you feel comfortable, respected, and heard.

Why is rapport important?

Think of a time you had great rapport with someone. What made it feel good?

Part 2: Essential Rapport-Building Skills

Skill 1: Active Listening

Active listening means truly focusing on what the other person is saying, not just waiting for your turn to speak. It shows you care.

How to practice active listening:

• Make eye contact: Show you're engaged.
• Nod or use verbal cues: Say "Mmm-hmm," "I see," or "Right" to show you're following along.
• Ask clarifying questions: "Can you tell me more about that?" or "So, if I understand correctly, you're saying..."
• Don't interrupt: Let the person finish their thoughts.

Your Turn: Practice Active Listening

Imagine a friend is telling you about a problem they had at school. Write down two things you would say or do to show you are actively listening.

Skill 2: Finding Common Ground

Common ground is something you share with another person, like a hobby, a favorite subject, or a similar experience. It's a great starting point for conversation.

How to find common ground:

• Ask open-ended questions: Questions that can't be answered with a simple "yes" or "no." (e.g., "What do you like to do for fun?" instead of "Do you like sports?")
• Share a little about yourself: If they mention a game they like, you might say, "Oh, I love video games too! Which ones are your favorites?"
• Observe: Notice what they're wearing (a band t-shirt?), what they're doing, or what they talk about with others.

Your Turn: Practice Finding Common Ground

Think about someone new you might meet (a new student, a classmate you don't know well). What are two open-ended questions you could ask to find common ground?

Skill 3: Showing Empathy

Empathy is understanding and sharing the feelings of another person. It's putting yourself in their shoes.

How to show empathy:

• Acknowledge their feelings: "That sounds really frustrating," or "I can see why you'd be upset."
• Validate their experience: "It makes sense that you feel that way."
• Offer support (if appropriate): "Is there anything I can do to help?"

Your Turn: Practice Showing Empathy

Your friend just told you they didn't do well on a test they studied hard for. What could you say to show empathy?

Part 3: Putting It All Together

Think about one person you want to build better rapport with. It could be a classmate, a teacher, or a family member.

Who is this person?

Which rapport-building skill(s) will you focus on when interacting with them this week? How will you use them?

What positive outcome do you hope to see from using these skills?

Teacher Script: Connect & Communicate

(Teacher sits with the student in a quiet, comfortable space. Have the Connect & Communicate Worksheet ready.)

Introduction (5 minutes)

"Hi [Student's Name]. Thanks for meeting with me today. We're going to talk about something super important that helps us get along better with everyone around us: building rapport. Have you heard that term before?"

(Pause for student's response. Explain if needed.)

"Rapport is really just about creating a good connection with someone. It's making them feel comfortable, understood, and like you're on the same team. When you have good rapport with someone, conversations flow easily, and you both feel good about the interaction. It helps us make new friends, work better in groups, and even communicate more effectively with teachers and other adults. It's a key ingredient for positive relationships."

"Today, we're going to explore some skills that help us build rapport. We'll use this Connect & Communicate Worksheet to guide our discussion and give you a chance to think about how you can use these skills in your own life."

Worksheet Completion & Guided Discussion (15 minutes)

"Let's start with Part 1 on the worksheet: 'What is Rapport?' Read the definition for me, please."

(Student reads.)

"Great. So, based on that, why do you think rapport is important? What's the benefit of having a good connection with someone?"

(Listen to their response, prompt with examples if they struggle: "How might it help in a group project? Or when you're meeting someone new?")

"Now, think of a time when you felt like you had great rapport with someone. What made that interaction feel good? What was happening?"

(Listen carefully to their response. Validate their feelings. "That's a great example! It sounds like you felt really heard.")

"Okay, let's move to Part 2: 'Essential Rapport-Building Skills.' The first skill is Active Listening. Read about it for us."

(Student reads.)

"Active listening isn't just about hearing words; it's about understanding what someone is saying, both with their words and their feelings. Why do you think making eye contact or nodding shows someone you're actively listening?"

(Discuss their thoughts. Emphasize sincerity.)

"In the 'Your Turn' section, imagine your friend is telling you about a problem. What two things would you say or do to show you're actively listening? Take a moment to write them down."

(Allow time for writing. Discuss their answers. Provide feedback or alternative suggestions if helpful. For example, if they say 'give advice,' gently redirect to 'listening first'.)

"Next up is Finding Common Ground. Go ahead and read that section."

(Student reads.)

"Finding common ground is like finding a bridge between you and another person. It gives you something to talk about. Why do you think asking open-ended questions is better than yes/no questions for finding common ground?"

(Discuss. "Exactly, it encourages them to share more!")

"For 'Your Turn,' if you meet someone new, what two open-ended questions could you ask to find common ground? Write them down."

(Allow time for writing. Discuss their answers.)

"Our third skill is Showing Empathy. Read that for us."

(Student reads.)

"Empathy is a really powerful skill. It's not about agreeing with someone, but understanding their feelings. How is that different from just saying 'I'm sorry'?"

(Discuss. "Right, it's about acknowledging their experience, not just expressing regret.")

"For your 'Your Turn' here, if a friend didn't do well on a test they studied hard for, what could you say to show empathy?"

(Allow time for writing. Discuss their answers.)

Reflection and Discussion (10 minutes)

"Alright, let's look at Part 3: 'Putting It All Together.' This is where you think about applying these skills."

"First, think about one person you want to build better rapport with. It could be someone at school, a family member, or even someone you just met. Who comes to mind?"

(Allow time for them to choose and write.)

"Now, looking at the skills we discussed – active listening, finding common ground, and showing empathy – which one, or maybe even two, will you focus on when you interact with this person this week? And how will you use them? Be specific."

(Allow ample time for writing and deeper thought. Encourage detailed plans.)

"Finally, what positive outcome do you hope to see from using these skills? What do you think might change or improve in your relationship with this person?"

(Allow time for writing.)

"These are excellent ideas, [Student's Name]. Remember, building rapport is a skill, and like any skill, it gets better with practice. Even small efforts can make a big difference in how you connect with others. Keep practicing these skills, and you'll see your relationships grow stronger."

"Do you have any questions about what we discussed today or any thoughts on how you feel about trying these out?"

(Address any final questions or concerns.)

"Great! Thanks for your thoughtful work today."

Connect & Communicate: Building Great Relationships - Answer Key

Part 1: What is Rapport?

Why is rapport important?

Suggested Answer: Rapport is important because it helps us build trust and understanding with others. When we have good rapport, people feel more comfortable talking to us, sharing their ideas, and working together. It can lead to stronger friendships, better teamwork, and more effective communication in all areas of life.

Think of a time you had great rapport with someone. What made it feel good?

Suggested Answer: (Student responses will vary but should describe a positive interaction where they felt understood, listened to, or connected.)

• Example thought process: I felt like they really understood what I was saying. They asked questions and didn't interrupt me. It felt good to be heard and like we were on the same page.

Part 2: Essential Rapport-Building Skills

Skill 1: Active Listening

Your Turn: Practice Active Listening

Imagine a friend is telling you about a problem they had at school. Write down two things you would say or do to show you are actively listening.

Suggested Answers:

1. Verbal: "That sounds really tough. Can you tell me more about what happened next?" or "Mmm-hmm, I hear you. So, you felt [feeling word]?"
2. Non-verbal: Making eye contact and nodding occasionally. Turning my body towards them to show I'm focused. Avoiding looking at my phone or other distractions.

Skill 2: Finding Common Ground

Your Turn: Practice Finding Common Ground

Think about someone new you might meet (a new student, a classmate you don't know well). What are two open-ended questions you could ask to find common ground?

Suggested Answers:

1. "What kind of things do you like to do outside of school?"
2. "What's something interesting you've been learning about lately?"
3. "What are some of your favorite movies or TV shows?"
4. "If you could travel anywhere, where would you go and why?"

Skill 3: Showing Empathy

Your Turn: Practice Showing Empathy

Your friend just told you they didn't do well on a test they studied hard for. What could you say to show empathy?

Suggested Answers:

• "Oh man, that really stinks. You worked so hard for that, it's totally understandable why you'd be upset."
• "I can imagine how frustrating that must be, especially after all the studying you did. I'm sorry to hear that."
• "That's a tough one. It makes sense that you're feeling down about it. Is there anything I can do?"

Part 3: Putting It All Together

Who is this person?

Suggested Answer: (Student will identify a specific person, e.g., "My lab partner, Alex," or "My aunt," or "A new student in my art class.")

Which rapport-building skill(s) will you focus on when interacting with them this week? How will you use them?

Suggested Answer: (Student responses will be specific to their chosen person and chosen skill.)

• Example thought process (focusing on Active Listening): I will focus on active listening with my lab partner, Alex. When we're working on our project, I'll make sure to put my pencil down and look at him when he's explaining his ideas. I'll also try to ask a follow-up question, like "What do you mean by that part?" to show I'm really trying to understand.
• Example thought process (focusing on Finding Common Ground): I want to build rapport with the new student, Maria. I noticed she has a cool sketchbook. I'll ask her, "What kind of art do you like to draw?" or "What inspired you to get into drawing?" to find out if we have common interests.

What positive outcome do you hope to see from using these skills?

Suggested Answer: (Student responses will vary but should relate to improved connection, understanding, or comfort.)

• Example thought process: I hope that Alex and I will be able to work together more smoothly and feel more comfortable sharing ideas. Maybe we'll even have a better time in lab.
• Example thought process: I hope Maria feels more welcome in class and that we can have a good conversation. It would be nice to have another person to talk to about art.