What's Your Conflict Style?

Think about a time you had a disagreement with someone. How did you handle it? Choose the option below that best describes your approach.

1. A: Avoiding - I try to pretend nothing is wrong and hope it goes away.
2. B: Accommodating - I usually give in to what the other person wants, even if I don't totally agree.
3. C: Competing - I try my hardest to win the argument and make sure my point is heard.
4. D: Compromising - I try to find a solution where both of us give up a little something to get something else.
5. E: Collaborating - I try to work together with the other person to find a solution that makes us both happy.




Share Your Thoughts:
Why did you choose that style? Do you think it's effective?

Conflict Resolution Script

Warm Up: What's Your Conflict Style? (10 minutes)

Teacher: "Good morning, everyone! Today, we're diving into a super important life skill: conflict resolution. We all experience disagreements, big or small, and learning how to handle them well can make a huge difference in our relationships and overall well-being. To start, let's look at our warm-up: What's Your Conflict Style? Warm Up."

"Take a moment to read the five conflict styles and think about which one best describes you when you're in a disagreement. Don't overthink it, just go with your gut feeling. Once you've chosen, think about why you chose that style and if you think it's usually effective for you."

(Allow 2-3 minutes for students to read and reflect.)

Teacher: "Okay, who would be willing to share their chosen style and why? Remember, there's no right or wrong answer here; we all approach conflict differently. And just as a reminder, let's focus on general approaches, not specific current conflicts you might be having."

(Facilitate a brief discussion. Encourage a few students to share their chosen style and the reasoning behind it. Gently guide the conversation towards understanding different approaches without judgment. Highlight that some styles might be more effective in certain situations than others.)

Teacher: "Great insights! It's really helpful to understand our own tendencies. Today, we're going to learn some specific steps that can help us navigate conflicts more effectively, no matter our natural style."

Introduction to Conflict Resolution (10 minutes)

(Transition to Conflict: Let's Talk It Out! Slide Deck - Slide 1)

Teacher: "So, as our slide says, 'Conflict: Let's Talk It Out!' That's exactly what we're aiming for. Learning to talk through our disagreements."

(Advance to Slide 2: What is Conflict?)

Teacher: "So, what exactly is conflict? Take a look at the slide. It's essentially a disagreement or argument, when people have different ideas, needs, or opinions. And here's the key: it's normal! It happens to everyone. Think about it, we all have unique experiences and perspectives, so it's impossible to agree on everything all the time. But the good news is, conflict can actually be an opportunity for growth and understanding if we handle it well."

"Has anyone ever had a disagreement that actually led to a better outcome or a stronger relationship in the end?"

(Allow a brief moment for responses, if any. Transition to Slide 3: Your Conflict Style, if not already there from warm-up discussion)

Teacher: "We just explored our conflict styles in the warm-up. Let's quickly review them on the slide. While all these styles exist, today we're going to focus on a process that leans heavily towards the 'collaborating' style – finding a 'win-win' solution."

"We're going to learn 5 key steps to help us resolve conflicts. These steps are like a roadmap for respectful and effective problem-solving."

(Advance to Slide 4: Step 1 & 2: Stop and Breathe)

Teacher: "The first two steps are crucial for setting the right tone. When you feel a disagreement starting, the first thing to do is STOP. Just pause. Don't say the first thing that comes to mind, especially if you're feeling angry or frustrated. That usually makes things worse. The second step is to BREATHE. Take a few deep breaths. This actually helps to calm your body and your mind, allowing you to think more clearly instead of reacting impulsively."

"Why do you think it's so important to stop and breathe before reacting in a conflict?"

(Allow 1-2 student responses.)

(Advance to Slide 5: Step 3: Listen (Really Listen!))

Teacher: "Once you're calm, the next, incredibly important step is to LISTEN. And I mean really listen. This means active listening: paying full attention, making eye contact, nodding to show you're engaged, and not interrupting. It also involves empathy – trying to see things from the other person's perspective. How might they be feeling? Why might they feel that way? Often, when we understand the other person's side, it changes how we see the situation."

"We're going to read a short text that talks more about this idea of understanding other perspectives."

Understanding Conflict Reading & Discussion (15 minutes)

Teacher: "I'm going to hand out the Understanding Conflict Reading. I'd like you to read it silently. Pay attention to what it says about different perspectives and the importance of truly listening. You'll have about 5-7 minutes for this."

(Distribute reading. Allow 5-7 minutes for silent reading.)

Teacher: "Alright, now that you've read the article, what was one key takeaway for you? Or, what did the reading say about why listening and understanding different perspectives is so important in a conflict?"

(Facilitate a brief discussion. Encourage students to share their insights, connecting back to active listening and empathy. Prompt with questions like: "How can trying to understand someone else's feelings change how you approach a disagreement?")

(Advance to Slide 6: Step 4: Communicate Respectfully)

Activity: Role Play & Practice (15 minutes)

Teacher: "Now that we've talked about stopping, breathing, listening, and understanding, the next step is to COMMUNICATE respectfully. This means sharing your thoughts and feelings clearly, without blaming the other person. A great way to do this is by using 'I' statements. Instead of saying, 'You always make me angry when you...' try saying, 'I feel frustrated when... because...'. This focuses on your feelings and needs, not on attacking the other person."

"Okay, it's time to put these skills into practice! I'm going to divide you into small groups, and each group will get some Role Play Activity Cards. Your task is to choose one scenario and act it out, focusing on applying the steps we've discussed: Stop, Breathe, Listen, Communicate, and even try to start thinking about a solution."

(Divide students into small groups. Distribute Role Play Activity Cards. Give clear instructions for the role play, emphasizing respectful communication and trying the steps. Circulate to observe and provide guidance.)

(After 7-8 minutes of group work, bring the class back together.)

Teacher: "Excellent work, everyone! It takes courage to try these skills out. Would any group like to share their scenario and how they tried to resolve it? What felt easy, and what was challenging about using the steps?"

(Allow 2-3 groups to share. Provide positive feedback and reinforce the learned strategies.)

(Advance to Slide 7: Step 5: Solve Together)

Teacher: "Fantastic! That brings us to our final step: SOLVE together. This is where you brainstorm ideas for a solution. The goal isn't for one person to 'win' and the other to 'lose,' but to find a 'win-win' where both people feel heard and satisfied. You want to choose a solution that is fair and addresses everyone's needs as much as possible."

(Advance to Slide 8: The 5 Steps to Conflict Resolution)

Teacher: "So, let's review our 5 steps to conflict resolution: Stop, Breathe, Listen, Communicate Respectfully, and Solve Together. Remember, these are skills, and like any skill, they get better with practice!"

Worksheet: Resolving Conflicts (5 minutes)

Teacher: "To help solidify what we've learned, I'm going to hand out the Resolving Conflicts Worksheet. Please complete this individually. It will give you a chance to think through these steps on your own. We won't be reviewing the answers as a class, but I will be collecting them to see how everyone is understanding the concepts."

(Distribute the worksheet. Allow 5 minutes for completion. Remind students to do their best.)

Cool Down: Exit Ticket (5 minutes)

Teacher: "Alright, to wrap up our lesson on conflict resolution, please take out your Cool Down Exit Ticket. On this ticket, I'd like you to write down two things: one new thing you learned about conflict resolution today, and one way you plan to use this new knowledge in your own life."

"This is a chance for you to reflect on what stuck with you. Once you're done, please hand in your exit ticket on your way out."

(Collect exit tickets. Thank students for their participation.)

Teacher: "Thank you all for your thoughtful participation today. I hope you feel more equipped to handle disagreements peacefully and effectively!"

Understanding Conflict: More Than Just an Argument

Conflict is often seen as a bad thing – something to avoid. But what if we told you that conflict is a natural, and even necessary, part of life? Conflict simply means that two or more people have different ideas, opinions, or needs that don't quite match up. It's how we handle these differences that determines whether the outcome is negative or positive.

Why Do Conflicts Happen?

Conflicts can arise for many reasons:

• Different Needs: You might need quiet to study, while your sibling needs music to concentrate.
• Different Values: You might believe in sharing everything, while a friend feels strongly about personal ownership.
• Different Goals: A group project might have members with different ideas on how to achieve the best grade.
• Misunderstandings: Sometimes, a conflict is simply because people haven't communicated clearly, and they've misunderstood each other's intentions or messages.
• Limited Resources: There's only one computer, and two people need to use it at the same time.

The Power of Perspective-Taking

One of the biggest challenges in conflict is that we often only see our side of the story. We know how we feel, what we want, and why we are right. But truly resolving a conflict requires understanding the other person's perspective. This is called empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. When you try to step into someone else's shoes, you might realize:

• They have different information than you do.
• Their past experiences influence how they react.
• They might be feeling scared, misunderstood, or unheard.
• Their needs might be just as valid as yours, even if they're different.

Active Listening: The Bridge to Understanding

To truly understand another person's perspective, you need to practice active listening. This is more than just waiting for your turn to talk. Active listening means:

• Giving your full attention: Put away distractions, make eye contact.
• Not interrupting: Let the other person finish their thoughts completely.
• Asking clarifying questions: "So, if I understand correctly, you're saying...?" or "Can you tell me more about why that's important to you?"
• Reflecting what you hear: "It sounds like you're feeling frustrated because..."

When you actively listen, you show the other person that you respect them and value what they have to say. This can lower tension, make them more open to listening to you, and pave the way for finding a solution that works for everyone.

Remember, conflict isn't about winning or losing. It's about finding a way forward together, and that starts with understanding.

Conflict Resolution Role Play Activity Cards

Instructions for Students:

1. Work in your small group (2-3 people).
2. Choose one scenario from the cards below.
3. Assign roles to each person in your group.
4. Act out the scenario, focusing on practicing the 5 steps to conflict resolution:
   • Stop (Take a moment before reacting)
   • Breathe (Calm yourself)
   • Listen (Actively hear the other person's perspective)
   • Communicate Respectfully (Use "I" statements)
   • Solve Together (Brainstorm solutions)
5. Try to find a peaceful and fair resolution to your chosen conflict.

Scenario 1: The Group Project Dilemma

Characters:

• Alex: You've done most of the work for a group project and are frustrated that the other person hasn't pulled their weight.
• Sam: You've been busy with another big assignment and feel overwhelmed. You know you haven't contributed much to the project but don't know how to catch up.

Conflict: Alex is angry that Sam isn't contributing, and Sam feels guilty and stressed.

Scenario 2: Borrowed Without Asking

Characters:

• Maria: You lent your favorite pencil/pen to a friend, and they returned it broken or lost it. You're upset.
• Javier: You borrowed Maria's pencil/pen and accidentally broke it/lost it. You feel bad but are also a bit defensive because it was an accident.

Conflict: Maria is upset about her item, and Javier is defensive about the accident.

Scenario 3: The Lunch Table Mix-Up

Characters:

• Chloe: You arrived at your usual lunch spot to find someone else sitting in 'your' seat and your friends have already started eating without you.
• Liam: You just moved to this school and didn't know there were 'assigned' seats. You're sitting with new people, trying to make friends.

Conflict: Chloe feels her spot has been taken and her routine disrupted, while Liam is unaware of any issue and trying to fit in.

Scenario 4: Game Controller Conundrum

Characters:

• Noah: You and your friend planned to play a video game, but your friend keeps hogging the controller and not letting you have a turn.
• Olivia: You're really excited about this new game and want to get to a higher level quickly. You didn't realize how much time you were taking.

Conflict: Noah feels left out and ignored, while Olivia is focused on the game and not paying attention to Noah's feelings.

Conflict Resolution Discussion Prompts

Use these prompts to facilitate a deeper discussion about conflict resolution, either as a whole class or in small groups after an activity.

Understanding Conflict

1. Can conflict ever be a good thing? If so, when and why?
   
   
   
   
2. What are some common reasons why conflicts start between friends or family members?
   
   
   
   
3. Why is it sometimes hard to see a conflict from another person's point of view?
   
   
   
   

The 5 Steps in Action

1. Think about the "Stop and Breathe" steps. What are some specific things you can do to help yourself calm down when you feel a conflict brewing?
   
   
   
   
2. Why is "active listening" so much more powerful than just waiting for your turn to talk?
   
   
   
   
3. What is an "I" statement, and how can using them help you communicate respectfully without blaming?
   
   
   
   
4. When brainstorming solutions, why is it important to aim for a "win-win" rather than just trying to get your own way?
   
   
   
   

Real-World Application

1. Imagine a situation where you successfully used conflict resolution skills. What happened, and what was the outcome?
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. What's one challenge you anticipate when trying to use these steps in a real conflict, and how might you overcome it?
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. How can practicing conflict resolution skills improve your relationships with friends, family, and classmates?
   
   
   
   

Conflict Resolution Bingo

Instructions:

1. Each student gets a Bingo card.
2. The teacher will read out various scenarios or statements related to conflict resolution.
3. If the scenario/statement matches a square on your card, mark that square.
4. The first student to get five squares in a row (horizontally, vertically, or diagonally) shouts "BINGO!"
5. The teacher will then check their card and ask them to explain how each marked square relates to conflict resolution.

Bingo Card

Call-Out List (Teacher Reads Aloud)

(Cut these out and draw them from a hat, or read them off the list randomly.)

1. Thinking about what someone else might be feeling. (Empathy)
2. Taking a moment to calm down before responding. (Breathe Deeply/Stop and Pause)
3. Using phrases like "I feel... when... because..." ("I" Statements)
4. Both people giving up a little to get a little. (Compromise)
5. Paying full attention without interrupting. (Active Listening)
6. Coming up with many ideas before picking one. (Brainstorm Solutions)
7. Finding a solution that makes both people happy. (Win-Win Outcome)
8. Realizing that your friend sees things differently than you. (Different Perspectives)
9. Speaking kindly even when you disagree. (Respectful Communication)
10. Focusing on the issue, not attacking the person. (No Blaming)
11. Working together to solve a problem. (Problem-Solving)
12. Finding something you both agree on. (Find Common Ground)
13. Showing you are listening with your face and posture. (Body Language)
14. Explaining what you truly need from the situation. (Focus on Needs)
15. Openly telling someone how a situation makes you feel. (Share Feelings)
16. Sitting down and discussing the disagreement. (Talk It Out)
17. Stepping away from the conflict for a short time if emotions are too high. (Take a Break)
18. Letting go of anger after a resolution. (Forgiveness)
19. Waiting calmly for the other person to finish speaking. (Patience)
20. Asking "What happened?" or "How do you feel?" (Ask Questions)
21. Listening not to reply, but to truly comprehend. (Listen to Understand)
22. Speaking without yelling or shouting. (Calm Voice)
23. The final agreement reached in a conflict. (Resolution)
24. When you decide not to react immediately to an upsetting comment. (Stop and Pause)
25. When you try to understand the 'why' behind someone's actions. (Empathy)

Resolving Conflicts: Your Turn to Practice

Instructions: Read each scenario carefully. Then, using the 5 steps to conflict resolution we discussed, describe how you would approach and try to resolve the conflict. Remember the steps: Stop, Breathe, Listen, Communicate Respectfully, Solve Together.

Scenario 1: The Shared Device

Your younger sibling keeps using your tablet/computer without asking, and sometimes leaves it with a low battery or downloads apps you don't like. You feel frustrated because you need it for your homework, and you don't like your things being used without permission.

1. Stop & Breathe: What would you do to calm yourself before talking?
   
   
   
   
2. Listen: What questions would you ask your sibling to understand their perspective?
   What might be their side of the story or their needs?
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. Communicate Respectfully: How would you use "I" statements to express your feelings and needs to your sibling without blaming them?
   
   
   
   
   
   
4. Solve Together: Brainstorm at least two possible solutions that could work for both of you. Which one do you think is best and why?
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

Scenario 2: The Loud Friend

During class, your friend next to you keeps talking loudly and distracting you. You're worried you're going to miss important information from the teacher, and you're getting annoyed, but you don't want to be rude to your friend.

1. Stop & Breathe: How would you calm yourself and prepare to address the situation?
   
   
   
   
2. Listen: What might be your friend's perspective or reason for talking loudly? (Think about why they might be doing it.)
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. Communicate Respectfully: How would you use "I" statements to tell your friend how you feel and what you need, without making them feel bad?
   
   
   
   
   
   
4. Solve Together: What are some ways you and your friend could solve this problem so you both get what you need (you can concentrate, they can still enjoy class)?
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

Conflict Resolution Quiz Answer Key

Question 1: Which of these is NOT one of the 5 steps to conflict resolution?

• Correct Answer: Win
• Explanation: The 5 steps are Stop, Breathe, Listen, Communicate, and Solve. 'Win' is often the goal in a competitive conflict style, but not a step in collaborative resolution.

Question 2: What does 'empathy' mean in the context of conflict resolution?

• Correct Answer: Understanding and sharing the feelings of another
• Explanation: Empathy is crucial for truly understanding the other person's perspective and feelings, which helps in finding a fair solution.

Question 3: Why is using 'I' statements important when communicating in a conflict?

• Correct Answer: They avoid blaming and focus on your feelings
• Explanation: 'I' statements (e.g., "I feel... when... because...") allow you to express your emotions and needs without making the other person feel attacked, which keeps the conversation more productive.

Question 4: Briefly explain what 'active listening' involves during a disagreement.

• Correct Answer: Active listening involves giving your full attention, not interrupting, making eye contact, nodding, and asking clarifying questions to truly understand the other person's perspective, rather than just waiting for your turn to speak.
• Explanation: Key components include full attention, non-verbal cues (eye contact, nodding), refraining from interruption, and seeking clarification to ensure understanding.

Question 5: Describe a 'win-win' solution in your own words.

• Correct Answer: A 'win-win' solution is a resolution to a conflict where both parties feel like their needs have been met and they are satisfied with the outcome, rather than one person winning and the other losing.
• Explanation: The essence of a 'win-win' is mutual satisfaction and addressing the core needs of everyone involved, fostering a sense of fairness and continued positive relationship.

Conflict Resolution: Exit Ticket

Instructions: Please answer the following questions honestly and thoughtfully. This will help me understand what you learned today.

1. What is one new thing you learned about conflict resolution today?
   
   
   
   
   
   

2. What is one way you plan to use a conflict resolution skill you learned today in your own life (with friends, family, or classmates)?
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

Peaceful Solutions Project: Designing a Conflict Resolution Guide

Project Goal

Your task is to create a helpful and engaging guide that teaches others how to resolve conflicts peacefully. This guide can be in any format you choose (e.g., a short video, a digital presentation, a poster series, a comic strip, a brochure, a short play script). Your guide should clearly explain the steps and strategies for effective conflict resolution.

Learning Objectives

By completing this project, you will:

• Demonstrate your understanding of conflict resolution steps and strategies.
• Explain the importance of empathy and active listening.
• Apply conflict resolution techniques to real-world scenarios.
• Creatively communicate complex ideas in an understandable way.

Deliverables

Your project must include the following elements:

1. Explanation of Conflict: Briefly define what conflict is and explain why it's important to learn how to resolve it constructively.
2. The 5 Steps of Conflict Resolution: Clearly outline and explain each of the following steps:
   • Stop
   • Breathe
   • Listen (Active Listening & Empathy)
   • Communicate Respectfully ("I" Statements)
   • Solve Together (Brainstorming & Win-Win)
3. Real-World Example/Scenario: Include at least one original scenario that demonstrates a conflict. Show how the 5 steps can be applied to resolve this conflict peacefully.
4. Tips for Success: Offer at least two additional tips or advice for someone trying to resolve a conflict (e.g., choose the right time, take a break, know when to ask for help).
5. Creativity & Engagement: Your guide should be engaging and easy for others to understand. Use visuals, clear language, and an appropriate tone for your target audience (e.g., younger students, peers, adults).

Project Timeline

• Day 1 (In Class): Project Introduction, Brainstorming ideas for your guide format and initial content.
• Day 2-3 (Homework/Class Work): Research, planning, and drafting content for each required element.
• Day 4 (Class Work): Begin creating your chosen format (e.g., drawing comic panels, designing slides, writing script).
• Day 5 (Homework/Class Work): Refine content, add visuals, practice presentation (if applicable).
• Day 6 (In Class): Presentations/Sharing of Project Guides.

Getting Started

• Choose your format: What would be the most effective way for you to teach others about conflict resolution?
• Outline your content: Plan what information will go into each section of your guide.
• Think about your audience: Who are you trying to teach? How will you make your guide appealing and clear to them?
• Refer to your notes: Use your Conflict: Let's Talk It Out! Lesson Plan, Understanding Conflict Reading, and Resolving Conflicts Worksheet as resources.

Assessment

Your project will be assessed using the Peaceful Solutions Rubric. Make sure to review the rubric carefully to understand the expectations for each component.

Peaceful Solutions Project Rubric

Project Name: Peaceful Solutions Project: Designing a Conflict Resolution Guide

Student Name: _________________________

Conflict Resolution Test Answer Key

Question 1: Which of these is the BEST first step when you feel a conflict starting?

• Correct Answer: Take a moment to calm down
• Explanation: The "Stop and Breathe" steps are crucial for emotional regulation, preventing impulsive reactions and allowing for clearer thinking.

Question 2: What does it mean to use 'I' statements during a conflict?

• Correct Answer: To express your feelings and needs without blaming
• Explanation: "I" statements help you own your feelings and needs, making the conversation less accusatory and more focused on finding solutions.

Question 3: Which of the following is an example of 'active listening'?

• Correct Answer: Making eye contact and nodding as the other person speaks
• Explanation: Active listening involves both verbal and non-verbal cues to show you are engaged and trying to understand the other person.

Question 4: Why is 'empathy' important in resolving conflicts?

• Correct Answer: It allows you to understand the other person's feelings and perspective
• Explanation: Empathy builds understanding and bridges gaps between different viewpoints, making it easier to find common ground and solutions.

Question 5: What is the goal of the 'Solve Together' step in conflict resolution?

• Correct Answer: To find a 'win-win' solution that works for both parties
• Explanation: The aim is not to have a winner and a loser, but to collaborate on a solution that addresses the needs and concerns of everyone involved.

Question 6: Imagine you and a friend both want to play different games during free time. Using the 5 steps of conflict resolution, describe how you would try to solve this disagreement. Be specific about each step.

• Example Answer:
  • Step 1: Stop: I would take a breath and not immediately argue or get upset.
  • Step 2: Breathe: I'd take a few deep breaths to stay calm.
  • Step 3: Listen: I'd ask my friend, "What game do you really want to play and why?" and listen carefully to their answer without interrupting.
  • Step 4: Communicate Respectfully: I'd use an 'I' statement like, "I feel disappointed because I was really looking forward to playing [my preferred game], and I haven't played it in a while."
  • Step 5: Solve Together: We could brainstorm ideas like playing one game first and then the other, or finding a third game we both like, or planning different days for different games. We would then choose a solution that we both agree on, like playing my game today and their game tomorrow.
• Grading Rubric for Open Response:
  • 5 points: All 5 steps clearly identified and specifically applied to the scenario with thoughtful, realistic examples for each.
  • 4 points: All 5 steps identified and generally applied to the scenario; some examples may lack specificity or depth.
  • 3 points: Most steps identified, but application to the scenario is vague or missing for 1-2 steps.
  • 2 points: Fewer than 3 steps identified, or application is largely incorrect/missing.
  • 1 point: Minimal or no understanding of the steps demonstrated.

Question 7: What does it mean to communicate 'respectfully' in a conflict, and why is it important?

• Example Answer: Communicating respectfully means speaking calmly, using 'I' statements, avoiding blaming or yelling, and listening to the other person without interrupting. It's important because it keeps the conversation productive, prevents escalation, and helps both parties feel heard and valued, increasing the chances of finding a fair solution.
• Grading Rubric for Open Response:
  • 3 points: Clear and comprehensive explanation of respectful communication with a strong justification of its importance.
  • 2 points: Good explanation of respectful communication and a reasonable explanation of its importance, but may lack some detail.
  • 1 point: Vague or incomplete explanation of respectful communication or its importance.
  • 0 points: No accurate explanation provided.