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Can You Say No?

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Maria Avina

Tier 1
For Schools

Lesson Plan

No Means No Workshop

Students will learn to assertively and respectfully decline requests by practicing clear “no” statements and empathetic responses, building healthy boundaries and confidence in social settings.

Developing the ability to say “no” strengthens relationship skills, fosters self-respect, and helps students maintain personal boundaries in real-life situations.

Audience

6th Grade Class

Time

40 minutes

Approach

Interactive discussion, polling, and role-plays

Materials

Refusing with Respect Slide Deck, Yes/No Flash Poll Warm-Up, Polite No Role-Plays Activity, and Group Debrief Discussion

Prep

Review Materials

10 minutes

  • Preview the Refusing with Respect Slide Deck to familiarize yourself with key points and prompts
  • Test the polling tool with the Yes/No Flash Poll Warm-Up
  • Print or project scenario cards for the Polite No Role-Plays Activity

Step 1

Warm-Up: Flash Poll

5 minutes

  • Launch the Yes/No Flash Poll Warm-Up to assess students’ comfort with saying “no”
  • Display statements (e.g., “Would you lend your phone to a friend you barely know?”)
  • Students vote yes/no and briefly share why

Step 2

Discuss: Key Principles

10 minutes

  • Use the Refusing with Respect Slide Deck to introduce:
    • Why boundaries matter
    • Elements of a respectful “no” (tone, body language, wording)
  • Pause for student reactions and ask for examples of polite refusals

Step 3

Activity: Polite Role-Plays

15 minutes

  • Divide students into pairs and distribute scenario cards from the Polite No Role-Plays Activity
  • Each student practices both roles: requester and decliner
  • Encourage use of assertive language, eye contact, and empathy statements
  • Circulate and give feedback on tone and phrasing

Step 4

Cool-Down: Group Debrief

5 minutes

  • Reconvene whole class and lead the Group Debrief Discussion
  • Ask: What felt challenging? What strategies worked best?
  • Highlight successes and reinforce respectful communication

Step 5

Assessment: Exit Ticket

5 minutes

  • Ask each student to write one “no” statement they might use this week
  • Collect exit tickets to gauge understanding and confidence
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Slide Deck

Refusing with Respect

Workshop 2: Saying No Politely

Let’s learn how to decline requests with confidence and kindness.

Welcome students to the workshop. Introduce today’s focus: learning to say “No” in a respectful, confident way.

Why Boundaries Matter

  • Protects your feelings and values
  • Builds trust in friendships
  • Helps you feel safe and respected

Explain that boundaries help us protect our time, feelings, and values. Invite brief student examples.

What Is a Respectful “No”?

A clear, polite, and assertive statement that lets someone know your choice without blaming or shaming.

Define what makes a refusal both clear and courteous. Emphasize that it’s not rude to say no.

Key Elements of a Respectful “No”

  1. Tone: Calm, steady, polite
  2. Body Language: Eye contact, open posture
  3. Words: Simple, direct, with empathy

Discuss each element in turn. Ask students: How might tone change a refusal?

Sample Phrases

  • “No, thank you. I can’t right now.”
  • “I appreciate the offer, but that doesn’t work for me.”
  • “I’d rather not—thanks for understanding.”
  • “I’m not comfortable with that, sorry.”

Read through the examples. Invite students to suggest other phrases.

Role-Play Scenarios

• A friend asks to copy your homework
• Someone invites you to a party you don’t want to attend
• A classmate wants you to help cheat on a test
• A peer asks to borrow money or snacks

Explain that these scenarios will help them practice using what they’ve learned.

Tips for Success

  • Make eye contact and speak clearly
  • Use a polite but firm tone
  • Include a brief reason or appreciation (“I’m busy,” “Thanks for asking”)
  • Acknowledge the other person’s feelings (“I know you needed help”)

Highlight these tips as students prepare to practice. Remind them to be supportive of each other.

Time to Practice

Let’s move to the Polite No Role-Plays Activity.

  1. Pair up with a classmate
  2. Choose a scenario card
  3. Take turns as requester and decliner
  4. Use what we’ve learned and give each other feedback

Transition to the activity: explain pairing, card distribution, and timing.

lenny

Warm Up

Warm-Up Activity: Yes/No Flash Poll

Purpose: Gauge students’ comfort with saying “no” and spark a quick discussion on healthy boundaries.

Materials Needed:

  • Digital polling tool (e.g., classroom response system) or have students show a thumbs up for “Yes” and a thumbs down for “No.”

Time: 5 minutes

Setup:

  • Explain voting instructions (digital or physical signals).
  • Prepare to display the following statements one at a time.

Poll Statements:

  1. Would you lend your phone to a friend you barely know?
  2. Would you share your homework answers with a classmate?
  3. Would you let someone copy your test answers?
  4. Would you invite someone to a party you don’t want to attend?
  5. Would you give away your snack to someone you just met?

Instructions:

  • Display each statement and prompt students to vote Yes or No.
  • After each vote, invite 2–3 volunteers to share a brief reason for their choice.
  • Note any patterns or surprises to revisit later.

Transition: Use insights from this poll to introduce why boundaries matter and move into the Refusing with Respect Slide Deck.

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Activity

Activity: Polite No Role-Plays

Purpose: Students practice saying “no” respectfully in realistic scenarios to build confidence and healthy boundary skills.

Time: 15 minutes

Materials Needed:

  • Printed scenario cards (see below)
  • Open space or area for paired discussions
  • Timer or stopwatch (optional)

Setup

  1. Print and cut out the scenario cards listed below.
  2. Arrange students in pairs, facing each other with room to role-play.
  3. Place the stack of scenario cards in the center of each pair.

Scenario Cards (print one per card)

  1. A friend asks to copy your homework at the last minute.
  2. A peer invites you to a party you don’t feel comfortable attending.
  3. A classmate wants you to help cheat on a test.
  4. Someone you just met asks to borrow money or snacks.
  5. A sibling wants you to sneak out to watch a movie.
  6. A teammate pressures you to play more aggressively than you’re comfortable with.

Instructions for Students

  1. One partner draws a scenario card and reads it aloud.
  2. Decide who will play the requester and who will be the decliner.
  3. Role-play the request, with the decliner using a respectful “no”:
    • Use a calm, steady tone and eye contact.
    • Include a brief reason or appreciation (e.g., “Thanks for asking, but I can’t right now.”)
    • Acknowledge the requester’s feelings if appropriate (e.g., “I know it’s important to you…”).
  4. After 1–2 minutes, pause and give each other feedback:
    • Was the “no” clear and polite?
    • How was the tone and body language?
  5. Switch roles and draw a new card.
  6. Repeat until time is up or each partner has decliner role at least once.

Teacher Tips

  • Circulate to listen in and offer suggestions (“Try adding a thank-you first”).
  • Encourage students to notice how different word choices feel for both roles.
  • Remind students that practice helps make polite refusals more natural.
  • If a pair finishes early, have them swap cards with another pair or invent their own scenario.

Transition: After role-plays, gather students for the Group Debrief Discussion to reflect on challenges and successful strategies.

lenny
lenny

Lesson Plan

No Means No Workshop

Students will practice assertively and respectfully saying “no” through guided discussion and role-play, strengthening healthy boundary skills.

Learning to set and maintain personal boundaries empowers students to respect themselves and others, builds confidence, and supports safer, healthier relationships.

Audience

6th Grade Class

Time

40 minutes

Approach

Interactive polling, discussion, and paired role-plays

Materials

Refusing with Respect Slide Deck, Yes/No Flash Poll Warm-Up, Polite No Role-Plays Activity, Group Debrief Discussion, and No Means No Workshop

Prep

Review Materials

10 minutes

  • Preview the Refusing with Respect Slide Deck to familiarize yourself with key points and prompts
  • Test the polling tool with the Yes/No Flash Poll Warm-Up
  • Print or project scenario cards for the Polite No Role-Plays Activity

Step 1

Warm-Up: Flash Poll

5 minutes

  • Launch the Yes/No Flash Poll Warm-Up to assess students’ comfort with saying “no”
  • Display statements (e.g., “Would you lend your phone to a friend you barely know?”)
  • Students vote yes/no and briefly share why

Step 2

Discuss: Key Principles

10 minutes

  • Use the Refusing with Respect Slide Deck to introduce:
    • Why boundaries matter
    • Elements of a respectful “no” (tone, body language, wording)
  • Pause for student reactions and ask for examples of polite refusals

Step 3

Activity: Polite Role-Plays

15 minutes

  • Divide students into pairs and distribute scenario cards from the Polite No Role-Plays Activity
  • Each student practices both roles: requester and decliner
  • Encourage use of assertive language, eye contact, and empathy statements
  • Circulate and give feedback on tone and phrasing

Step 4

Cool-Down: Group Debrief

5 minutes

  • Reconvene whole class and lead the Group Debrief Discussion
  • Ask: What felt challenging? What strategies worked best?
  • Highlight successes and reinforce respectful communication

Step 5

Assessment: Exit Ticket

5 minutes

  • Ask each student to write one “no” statement they might use this week
  • Collect exit tickets to gauge understanding and confidence
lenny

Cool Down

Cool-Down: Group Debrief Discussion

Purpose: Consolidate learning, share reflections on practicing respectful refusals, and connect skills to real-life situations.

Time: 5 minutes

Instructions:

  1. Gather students back into a circle or whole-class seating.
  2. Prompt a brief volunteer-style discussion using these questions:
    • What felt most challenging when you practiced saying “no”?
    • Which polite refusal strategy or phrase worked best for you?
    • How could you use a respectful “no” in a real situation this week?
  3. After each share, invite classmates to give a thumbs-up if they relate or found the idea helpful.

Individual Reflection:

  • Ask students to spend 1 minute writing a response to:
    “One situation this week where I will use a polite “no” is: ________________________________________.”



Transition:

  • Collect these reflections to inform the Exit Ticket assessment and reinforce confidence in boundary setting.
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