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Can We Talk This Out?

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Lesson Plan

Conflict Resolution Coaching Session

To equip students with effective communication and conflict resolution strategies to navigate disagreements constructively.

Developing strong conflict resolution skills is essential for building healthy relationships, reducing stress, and fostering a positive social environment. This lesson will help students approach difficult conversations with confidence and clarity.

Audience

10th Grade Student

Time

40 minutes

Approach

Individual coaching and practical application through role-play.

Materials

Navigating Tough Conversations (slide-deck), Role-Play Dialogue Prompts (script), and I-Message Builder (worksheet)

Prep

Review Materials

10 minutes

Step 1

Introduction & Warm-Up

5 minutes

Begin by welcoming the student and explaining the purpose of the session. Use the Navigating Tough Conversations Slide Deck to introduce the idea of effective communication.

Teacher: "Welcome! Today, we're going to work on some powerful tools to help you handle disagreements in a way that actually makes things better, not worse. We'll be looking at how to 'talk it out' effectively."

Step 2

Understanding I-Messages

10 minutes

Introduce the concept of "I-Messages" as a key communication strategy. Use slides 2-4 of the Navigating Tough Conversations Slide Deck to explain the components of an I-Message (I feel, when you, because, I need).

Teacher: "One of the best ways to express yourself without blaming others is using 'I-Messages.' Let's break down how they work. We'll fill out this worksheet together."

Step 3

I-Message Builder Activity

10 minutes

Distribute the I-Message Builder Worksheet and guide the student through completing it. Provide support and examples as needed. Encourage the student to think of a low-stakes conflict they've experienced.

Teacher: "Now it's your turn to practice. Think of a minor disagreement you've had recently. Let's use the worksheet to craft an effective 'I-Message' about it."

Step 4

Role-Play Practice

10 minutes

Engage in a role-play activity using the Role-Play Dialogue Prompts Script. The teacher can play the role of the other person in the student's chosen scenario, or use a general prompt. Provide constructive feedback on the student's use of I-Messages and active listening.

Teacher: "Great! Now let's try it out. I'll play the role of the other person in your scenario, and you can practice using your 'I-Message.' Remember to listen carefully to my response too."

Step 5

Reflection & Wrap-Up

5 minutes

Conclude the session with a brief reflection. Ask the student what they learned and how they might apply these skills in real-life situations. Use the final slide of the Navigating Tough Conversations Slide Deck to summarize.

Teacher: "What was one key thing you learned today about talking things out? How do you think you can use these skills next time you have a disagreement?"

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Slide Deck

Can We Talk This Out?

Strategies for Effective Communication & Conflict Resolution

  • Why is this important?
  • What will we learn today?

Welcome the student and set a positive tone for the session. Explain that today's focus is on developing skills to handle disagreements more effectively. Briefly preview what will be covered.

What's an I-Message?

A way to express your feelings and needs clearly, without blaming others.

  • Focuses on your experience.
  • Helps others understand your perspective.

Introduce the idea of 'I-Messages' as a foundational tool for expressing feelings and needs without blame. Emphasize that this is about owning one's feelings.

Part 1: "I Feel..."

Start by stating your emotion clearly.

  • "I feel confused..."
  • "I feel frustrated..."
  • "I feel hurt..."

Avoid blaming: "You make me feel..."

Break down the first part of an I-Message: "I feel..." Discuss how to identify and articulate emotions specifically. Give examples of feeling words vs. blaming words.

Part 2 & 3: "When You..." & "Because..."

Describe the specific behavior or situation, then explain the impact.

  • "I feel frustrated when you interrupt me, because I lose my train of thought."
  • "I feel confused when I don't get clear instructions, because I don't know what to do next."

Explain the second and third parts: "when you..." and "because..." This helps connect the feeling to a specific behavior or situation, and then to the impact of that behavior.

Part 4: "I Need..." / "I Would Like..."

Clearly state what you need or would like to happen.

  • "I feel frustrated when you interrupt me, because I lose my train of thought. I need you to let me finish talking."
  • "I feel confused when I don't get clear instructions, because I don't know what to do next. I would like you to explain the steps more thoroughly."

Cover the final, crucial part: "I need..." or "I would like..." This is about stating a clear, actionable request for the future. Stress that it's a request, not a demand.

Putting It Into Practice: Role-Play!

Now it's time to try out your new skills.

  • Use I-Messages.
  • Practice active listening.
  • Focus on finding a solution together.

Transition to practice. Introduce the role-play and encourage the student to apply what they've learned about I-Messages and active listening.

Your Voice Matters!

Remember:

  • I-Messages help you express yourself clearly.
  • Active listening builds understanding.
  • You have the power to navigate tough conversations successfully!

Keep practicing!

Summarize the key takeaways from the session. Reiterate the power of I-Messages and proactive communication. Encourage continued practice.

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Script

Role-Play Dialogue Prompts

Teacher: "Alright, let's practice using those I-Messages. I'll give you a scenario, and I'll play the role of the other person. Your goal is to use an I-Message to express yourself and then listen to my response. Ready?"


Scenario 1: Group Project Frustration

Teacher (as a Group Member): "Hey, so I noticed you haven't really contributed much to the group project. We have a deadline soon, and I'm getting a little worried about our grade."

Student: (Uses an I-Message to express their feelings about the situation and what they need.)







Teacher (as Group Member, responding): "Oh, really? I didn't realize you felt that way. I've been really busy with [another class/family stuff], so I thought I was doing okay. What specifically makes you feel that way?"

Student: (Responds, possibly clarifying their I-Message or asking a clarifying question to show active listening.)








Scenario 2: Borrowed Item Not Returned

Teacher (as a Friend): "Hey, about that book I lent you last week... have you finished it yet? I need it back for a report I'm working on."

Student: (Uses an I-Message to express their feelings about the situation and what they need.)







Teacher (as Friend, responding): "Oh, I'm sorry! I totally forgot. I got sidetracked and it slipped my mind. When do you need it by?"

Student: (Responds, possibly clarifying their I-Message or asking a clarifying question to show active listening.)








Scenario 3: Misunderstanding with a Teammate

Teacher (as a Teammate): "I heard you were talking about me to other people in the team. Is everything okay? I'm a bit confused and upset."

Student: (Uses an I-Message to express their feelings about the situation and what they need.)







Teacher (as Teammate, responding): "Wait, you felt like I was ignoring your ideas? I thought I was just trying to keep the discussion moving. I didn't mean to make you feel unheard. What could I do differently next time?"

Student: (Responds, possibly clarifying their I-Message or asking a clarifying question to show active listening.)







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Worksheet

I-Message Builder

Instructions: Use the steps below to build effective "I-Messages" for different situations. Remember, the goal is to express your feelings and needs without blaming others.

Situation 1: Something that made you feel upset or frustrated.

  1. "I feel..." (Identify your emotion)



  2. "When you..." (Describe the specific behavior or situation that led to your feeling)



  3. "Because..." (Explain the impact of that behavior on you)



  4. "I need/I would like..." (State your clear and actionable request for the future)



Put it all together:

"I feel


when you


because


. I need/I would like


."













Situation 2: A time you felt confused or unheard.

  1. "I feel..." (Identify your emotion)



  2. "When you..." (Describe the specific behavior or situation that led to your feeling)



  3. "Because..." (Explain the impact of that behavior on you)



  4. "I need/I would like..." (State your clear and actionable request for the future)



Put it all together:

"I feel


when you


because


. I need/I would like


."













Situation 3: A general example you want to practice.

  1. "I feel..." (Identify your emotion)



  2. "When you..." (Describe the specific behavior or situation that led to your feeling)



  3. "Because..." (Explain the impact of that behavior on you)



  4. "I need/I would like..." (State your clear and actionable request for the future)



Put it all together:

"I feel


when you


because


. I need/I would like


."












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Can We Talk This Out? • Lenny Learning