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Cafeteria Clash to Calm

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Amy Hagerman

Tier 3
For Schools

Lesson Plan

Cafeteria Clash to Calm Plan

Guide the student through reflection on the food fight incident, its impact on others, and develop a plan to repair harm, while teaching self-regulation and conflict-resolution skills as alternatives to suspension.

Adding a restorative component helps the student take accountability, build empathy, and repair relationships harmed by the food fight, reducing repeat behavior and rebuilding trust.

Audience

9th Grade

Time

30 minutes

Approach

Reflection, restorative repair, skill practice.

Materials

  • Reflection Worksheet, - Restorative Repair Plan Template, - Conflict Scenario Cards, - Self-Regulation Strategies Guide, and - Timer or Smartphone

Prep

Prepare Materials

5 minutes

  • Print or have digital copies of the Reflection Worksheet, Restorative Repair Plan Template, Conflict Scenario Cards, and Self-Regulation Strategies Guide.
  • Familiarize yourself with restorative-justice principles and self-regulation techniques.
  • Set up a quiet, comfortable space and have a timer ready.

Step 1

Welcome and Calm-Down

5 minutes

  • Greet the student and explain today’s goal: learning from the food fight and repairing harm instead of suspension.
  • Lead 2 minutes of deep breathing using the Self-Regulation Strategies Guide.
  • Encourage openness and reassure confidentiality.

Step 2

Reflect on the Incident

7 minutes

  • Hand out the Reflection Worksheet.
  • Ask the student to describe what happened, their thoughts and feelings before, during, and after.
  • Prompt identification of triggers and consequences for self and others.

Step 3

Explore Impulses and Consequences

4 minutes

  • Define impulsive behavior and why we sometimes act without thinking.
  • Review key consequences from the worksheet (suspension, harm to peers/staff, trust loss).
  • Connect to real-life impacts in the cafeteria environment.

Step 4

Learn Self-Regulation Strategies

4 minutes

  • Introduce 3 techniques from the Self-Regulation Strategies Guide: deep breathing, journaling, counting to ten.
  • Demonstrate each briefly and have the student practice one.
  • Ask which felt most helpful and why.

Step 5

Restorative Reflection & Repair

5 minutes

  • Provide the Restorative Repair Plan Template.
  • Guide the student to:
    • Name who was affected by the food fight (peers, staff, self).
    • Describe how each was impacted.
    • Brainstorm concrete repair actions (e.g., apology note, helping clean up, assisting staff).
    • Choose one action to commit to and record it on the template.

Step 6

Role-Play Conflict Resolution

3 minutes

  • Use the Conflict Scenario Cards to simulate a cafeteria dispute.
  • Role-play the upset student and calm responder, applying a chosen self-regulation strategy.
  • Provide feedback and praise effective responses.

Step 7

Commit to Action Plan & Wrap-Up

2 minutes

  • Review the repair action and self-regulation goal from the templates.
  • Agree on a reminder method (phone alert, locker note) and a check-in date.
  • End with positive reinforcement and encourage ongoing use of these strategies.
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Worksheet

Reflection Worksheet

Use this worksheet to think through the food fight incident, identify your feelings and triggers, and plan for better choices next time.

  1. Describe what happened during the food fight. Who was involved? What were you thinking at the time?











  1. What feelings did you experience:a) Before the incident:












    b) During the incident:












    c) After the incident:











  2. What triggered you or made you feel like reacting in that moment?






  1. What were the consequences of your actions? (Think about how it affected you, others, and the cafeteria environment.)











  1. In hindsight, what are two alternative actions you could have taken?a)












    b)











  2. What lesson will you take from this experience? How might this help you handle similar situations in the future?











  1. Choose one SMART goal related to managing your impulses (for example, “When I feel upset, I will step away and take three deep breaths.”) Write your goal below:






  1. How will you remind yourself to follow this plan? (Examples: set a phone reminder, place a note in your locker, ask a friend to check in with you.)






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Activity

Conflict Scenario Cards

Use these cards to role-play common cafeteria conflicts. Pick a card and take turns playing both the upset student and the calm responder. Practice using a self-regulation strategy and assertive communication.

Scenario 1: Line Jump

You’ve been standing in line for lunch when someone with a BIG tray steps in front of you without noticing. You bump into them and spill some food. They turn and glare at you.

• How would you normally react?
• How can you pause and use a self-regulation strategy before responding?

Scenario 2: Spilled Drink

A student accidentally knocks a drink onto your tray, drenching your lunch. They laugh in surprise and walk away. You feel embarrassed and furious.

• What thoughts run through your mind?
• What could you do instead of throwing food or yelling?

Scenario 3: Loud Teasing

A group at your table starts teasing you loudly about your choice of lunch. You feel your face heat up and want to react in anger to make them stop.

• What impulse do you notice in your body?
• Which self-regulation technique will help you calm down first?

Scenario 4: Table Space Scramble

You arrive to sit with friends, but the last seat at the table is taken by someone you don’t know. You shove their legs to get the spot.

• How does the other student feel?
• How could you ask for space without pushing?

Scenario 5: Wrong Lunch Served

You’re served the wrong meal and the server apologizes. Still upset, you slam your tray on the counter, drawing laughter from nearby students.

• What consequence might this action have?
• What’s a calm, assertive way to solve the mistake?

After each role-play:

  1. Reflect on what worked when the responder stayed calm.
  2. Identify the self-regulation strategy used.
  3. Consider one improvement for next time.
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Reading

Self-Regulation Strategies Guide

When we feel upset or impulsive, our brain can take over and lead us to act without thinking. Using self-regulation strategies helps us pause, calm down, and choose healthier responses. Try these three simple techniques the next time you feel strong emotions in the cafeteria (or anywhere else).

Strategy 1: Deep Breathing

Why it works: Slow, deep breaths help lower your heart rate, reduce tension, and bring your focus back to the present moment.

How to practice:

  1. Sit or stand comfortably, shoulders relaxed.
  2. Place one hand on your chest and the other on your belly.
  3. Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of four—feel your belly rise.
  4. Hold for a count of two.
  5. Exhale gently through your mouth for a count of six—feel your belly fall.
  6. Repeat for 5–10 breaths or until you feel more relaxed.

Try it now: Take three deep breaths, counting quietly in your mind.

Strategy 2: Journaling Your Thoughts

Why it works: Writing down what you’re feeling helps you understand your emotions and see the situation more clearly.

How to practice:

  1. Find a quiet spot and get a notebook or piece of paper.
  2. Write down what happened and how you felt—be honest and specific.
  3. Ask yourself: “What triggered me? What am I thinking right now?”
  4. Next, list two to three alternative ways you could respond in that situation.
  5. Read over your notes and choose one alternative to try next time.

Try it now: Spend two minutes jotting down any recent moment you felt upset at school.

Strategy 3: Counting to Ten

Why it works: Giving yourself a few seconds of pause can stop an automatic reaction and help you cool off.

How to practice:

  1. Notice the urge to react—clenched fists, racing thoughts, or heat in your face are clues.
  2. Take a slow, inward breath and start counting silently: 1…2…3… up to 10.
  3. With each number, focus on your breath or on a neutral word (like “calm”).
  4. By the time you reach ten, check in with yourself: Are you still upset? If so, repeat or switch to deep breathing.
  5. Once you feel calmer, choose a thoughtful response (using “I” statements or asking for a break).

Try it now: Imagine someone spilled your drink. Count silently from one to ten before saying or doing anything.

Remember, building new habits takes time. Practice these strategies daily—before, during, and after school—to strengthen your self-control. The more you use them, the more natural they will feel when you really need them.

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Slide Deck

Cafeteria Clash to Calm

An alternative to suspension lesson focused on:
• Reflecting on the food fight incident
• Understanding triggers and consequences
• Learning self-regulation techniques
• Practicing conflict resolution

Objective: Build empathy, responsible decision-making, and conflict-resolution skills.

Welcome the student warmly. Briefly explain that today’s session will help them learn from the food fight incident and develop new ways to respond instead of being suspended.

Welcome & Calm-Down

Let’s begin with 2 minutes of guided deep breathing:

  1. Sit comfortably, hands on chest and belly
  2. Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds
  3. Hold for 2 seconds
  4. Exhale through your mouth for 6 seconds
  5. Repeat until the timer ends

(See Self-Regulation Strategies Guide)

Explain that taking a moment to breathe can reset emotions. Lead two full minutes of deep breathing using the steps in the guide.

Reflect on the Incident

Use the Reflection Worksheet to answer:

• What happened? Who was involved?
• How did you feel before, during, and after?
• What triggered your reaction?
• How did your actions affect others?

Hand over the [Reflection Worksheet] and prompt the student to write/draw their answers. Circulate, listen, and ask follow-up questions.

Impulses & Consequences

Impulsive behavior = acting without thinking about outcomes.

Common consequences:
• Suspension or detention
• Hurt feelings or physical harm to others
• Damage to reputation and trust
• Disruption of learning environment

Define impulsivity in your own words and tie it back to the worksheet responses. Emphasize real-world impacts—lost privileges, peer relationships, staff trust.

Learn Self-Regulation Strategies

Review three quick techniques:

  1. Deep Breathing: Slow inhales/exhales to calm your body
  2. Journaling: Write down thoughts to sort emotions
  3. Counting to Ten: Pause and focus before reacting

(Details in Self-Regulation Strategies Guide)

Briefly summarize each strategy. Encourage the student to ask questions or share which sounds most useful.

Watch this quick video to see practical ways to calm down in the moment.

Introduce the video and ask the student to watch for practical self-regulation techniques they can use in the cafeteria.

Practice a Strategy

Choose one technique to try now:

• 5 more deep breaths
• Write for 2 minutes about a recent upset
• Count silently from 1 to 10

Notice how you feel afterward.

Give the student a moment to choose one strategy and practice it. Observe and offer gentle feedback or encouragement.

Role-Play Conflict Resolution

Use the Conflict Scenario Cards:

  1. Pick a card and read the scenario.
  2. Role-play the upset student and the calm responder.
  3. Use your chosen self-regulation strategy.
  4. Reflect on what worked and what you’d do next time.

Introduce the scenario cards. Encourage role reversal so the student practices both calm responses and managing triggers.

Action Plan & Wrap-Up

Set one SMART goal for managing impulses, e.g.:
“When I feel angry in the cafeteria, I will step away and take 3 deep breaths before speaking.”

• Write your goal on the template
• Decide on a reminder (phone alert, locker note)
• Schedule our check-in date

Great work today—keep practicing these skills!

Help the student craft a clear SMART goal on the worksheet. Confirm how and when you’ll check in on progress.

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Activity

Restorative Repair Plan Template

Use this template to plan how you will repair the harm caused by the food fight.

Student Name: ____________________ Date: ________________

1. Who was affected by the food fight? List people or groups.







2. How was each person or group impacted? Describe the effects (feelings, work caused, trust lost).












3. Brainstorm at least three concrete ways you could repair the harm (apology, cleanup, helping in cafeteria, etc.).

a) _________________________________



b) _________________________________



c) _________________________________



4. Choose one repair action to commit to and describe the steps you will take.











<br/

My committed action: _________________________________________

Steps & timeline:











5. How will you know you’ve repaired harm? Who will you check in with and when?












Thank you for taking responsibility. Completing this plan helps rebuild trust and shows respect for others’ experiences.

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